Wordgag ใƒ„

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log โœจ

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ณ๐Ÿ‡ฆ has downloaded:

Iโ€™m still waiting for the day my parents will say, โ€œItโ€™s all fake, we are millionaires, this was just to teach you to be humbleโ€.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฒ๐Ÿ‡พ has shared:

Eating spaghetti to forgetti my regretti.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ต๐Ÿ‡ญ has shared:

Iโ€™m at the age where any time my mom asks if I remember so-and-so from high school, the news is never good.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡จ๐Ÿ‡ป has bookmarked:

I donโ€™t want flying cars, I want the ability to start again from my last save point.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฑ๐Ÿ‡ธ has shared:

I’d never pick the lesser of two evils because that means they’re not even good at being evil either.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ฟ has shared:

I’ve been blocked, unfollowed, and unfriended, but I’ve never been told I’m bad in bed.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ช๐Ÿ‡ธ has shared:

“Donโ€™t bring a knife to a gun fight!” Okay, then explain bayonets to me.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ต๐Ÿ‡ฌ has shared:

Vote for me and I’ll remove all the calories from cheese.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฌ๐Ÿ‡ง has shared:

I wish anxiety came with french fries.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฐ๐Ÿ‡ช has copied:

Receipts are like: Take this tiny piece of paper home with you and throw it away.

Funny Quotes Data ๐Ÿค“

New Funny Quotes

799 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,961

Funny Quotes Topics

13,930

Funny Quotes Images

10,961

Updated

44 minutes ago

Users Online

3,422

Social Media Log ๐Ÿ’ซ

Just landed via YouTube:

So many songs that tell you to throw your hands in the air like you just donโ€™t care, so few about the hazards of ceiling fans.

Reported on Slack:

Oddโ€”my boss told me to meet him at the abandoned quarry at midnight for my performance evaluation.

Making waves on Pinterest:

“Are you ok?” Of course not. Next question!

Spotted on Instagram:

The most avoided species of shark is the Loan.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

I am convinced that some of you are failed experiments that gained sentience and escaped from a lab.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Not to brag, but Iโ€™ve seen Barbie naked.

Just shared via Snapchat:

I love when someone is telling a story and you can tell even from their version that theyโ€™re the villain.

Just landed via Telegram:

Pretty annoying when someone unfollows me before I can conduct their exit interview.

Making waves on Threads:

Every guy wants to be called Daddy till that test comes back positive.

Live now on Slack:

Hate Google’s Gemini. If I wanted to get misinformation from a Gemini, I’d talk to my mother.

Half princess, half menace.

Half princess, half menace.
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Commentary:
"Watch out, she's half royal grace ๐Ÿ‘‘ and half mischievous mischief ๐Ÿ˜ˆ! Don't let the crown fool you, this princess packs a punch ๐Ÿ’ฅ๐Ÿ‘ธ #royallyrebellious"

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Welcome to Wordgag! ๐Ÿ˜‰โœŒ๏ธ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ’ฅ

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Funny Quotes Data ๐Ÿค“

New Funny Quotes

799 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,961

Funny Quotes Topics

13,930

Funny Quotes Images

10,961

Updated

44 minutes ago

Users Online

3,425

Funny Quotes of the Month ๐Ÿš€

Funny Quotes of the Year โญ

Activity Log โœจ

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ผ๐Ÿ‡ธ has copied:

My big 3? Yapping, napping & snacking!

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฑ๐Ÿ‡น has copied:

I have no need to judge people because of their religion, skin color or sexual orientation. Bad behavior is enough for me.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡จ๐Ÿ‡ฑ has viewed:

The real body count is how many people are in therapy because of you.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฐ๐Ÿ‡ฌ has viewed:

Enjoy the time between diapers!

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡น๐Ÿ‡ด has downloaded:

Everyday is leg day when youโ€™re running from your problems.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ซ๐Ÿ‡ท has bookmarked:

This year I’d like an advent calendar with 24 different tranquilizers.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ง๐Ÿ‡ฏ has copied:

Stop making eye contact with me, I can’t afford a wedding right now.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ง๐Ÿ‡ท has downloaded:

I march to the beat of my own dumb.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฒ๐Ÿ‡ฟ has downloaded:

Are you okay, babe? You’ve barely moved in mysterious ways recently.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ป๐Ÿ‡จ has viewed:

Dear liars, I hope every pair of pants you own are on fire.

Social Media Log ๐Ÿ’ซ

Going viral on Twitch:

Wolves are just dogs that nobody has called a “good boy” yet.

Breaking via Telegram:

If I were an organ, I’d fail.

Breaking via Reddit:

Deodorant? No, I never need to buy any. People just give it to me. Complete strangers sometimes.

Just shared via Threads:

Imagine how scary sharks would be if they wore necklaces made out of our teeth.

Making waves on TikTok:

If reports from this daisy are accurate, she loves me not.

Breaking via TikTok:

Money talks, but all mine ever says is goodbye.

Breaking via TikTok:

Computer dating is fine, if you’re a computer.

Going viral on Discord:

I run a parody bank account.

Just landed via Pinterest:

Millennials arenโ€™t having kids because no oneโ€™s made lo-fi hip-hop beats to yell at your kids to.

Breaking via Telegram:

The cost of living has gotten so high, Iโ€™m thinking about having a nap for dinner.

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ยฉ 2025. All fights retarded. ๐Ÿคช

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