Commentary:
Cartoons: violence to classical beats, the original reality show! 🎻💥😄
25 Funny contrast quotes
Having a dirty mind and an innocent face is truly a blessing.
Commentary:
When your mind's in the gutter but your face is angelic enough to get away with it 😇🧠😈
“I’m either extremely productive or staring at the wall like I’m in a Victorian painting.”
Commentary:
This is me perfecting the art of wall-staring while dodging productivity one epic gaze at a time! 🎨🛋️
You looked so beautiful and combative as we were detained for questioning.
Commentary:
Getting fashion tips for when I'm interrogated next! 😆🕵️♂️🔍
Everyone’s a gangster until they see a rainbow.
Commentary:
Rainbows: turning tough guys into cupcake lovers since forever 🌈😎🍰
I’m a kid at heart and a senior citizen at my knees and back.
Commentary:
"Forever young at heart, but my joints got the senior discount! 🧒💔🧓😂"
Everything is awful, and no one is going to save you from this treacherous world. Oops, I mean, happy Friday!
Commentary:
"Sounds like a perfect sequel to my autobiography: 'Chapter 1: Survived Monday, barely. Conclusion: Happy Friday!' 🎉🙃 #AdultingStruggles"
Some 100 private jets will fly to Venice for Jeff Bezos’ wedding, and I recycle yoghurt cup lids.
Commentary:
"Ah yes, saving the planet, one yoghurt lid at a time while Venice gets its own airport! 🌍✈️😂"
I’ve got a soft heart and a savage mouth. I’m like a Hallmark card written by Gordon Ramsay.
Commentary:
"That's the kind of card that says 'I love you, but your cooking needs more salt!' 💌🥄🔥"
She was rare. Like a meth head with good teeth.
Commentary:
"When you find the one unicorn in a herd of donkeys 🦄😁 #TrulyOneOfAKind"