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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log โœจ

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฉ๐Ÿ‡ฐ has shared:

I could easily win an Oscar, I just have other things going on right now.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡ฑ has downloaded:

Forget mini pizzas. I want one so big it needs a forklift to rotate it.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ญ๐Ÿ‡บ has downloaded:

I like to do a task by worrying about it for three weeks and then finally dedicating 10 solid minutes to completing it.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฏ๐Ÿ‡ด has shared:

I hope my email finds you enraged.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ต๐Ÿ‡ผ has downloaded:

Oh, you like NYC? Name every rat.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ท๐Ÿ‡ธ has shared:

Thereโ€™s someone in our team who behaves horribly to me and whenever I have to type his name, Iโ€™ve taken to using a slightly smaller font size than for everyone elseโ€™s.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡ฌ has shared:

Nothing refreshes my memory of what I need at the grocery store like coming home from the grocery store.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฆ๐Ÿ‡ฒ has downloaded:

Please donโ€™t ask me what my hobbies are, I lost interest in life back in 6th grade.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฐ๐Ÿ‡ช has copied:

I just ordered a life alert bracelet, so if I ever get a life, I’ll be notified immediately.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฒ๐Ÿ‡จ has downloaded:

Seems like paleontologists always have a bone to pick.

Funny Quotes Data ๐Ÿค“

New Funny Quotes

calculatingโ€ฆ

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 19, 2026

Users Online

3,507

Social Media Log ๐Ÿ’ซ

Shared recently on Slack:

Imagine if we had to worry about dinosaurs too, on top of everything else.

Going bananas on YouTube:

My wallet is like an onion; opening it makes me cry.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

“Made with love,” means I licked the spoon and kept using it.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Whatever doesn’t kill you is probably still trying.

Making waves on Pinterest:

Life always has it’s ups and downs. I like to up the music, down the drinks, and then relax and enjoy.

Just shared via X:

In search of someone who loves me as much as I love my snooze button.

Just landed via WeChat:

I am on a diet where you just speak Italian: “Pasta,” “Pizza,” and “I’m leaving Rooma for dessert.”

Live now on WhatsApp:

Iโ€™ve noticed the best way to get somebodyโ€™s attention is to not want it anymore.

Broadcasted on WeChat:

What do you mean a baguette isnโ€™t a female bag?

Trending via Telegram:

Theo Von’s entire life is like a raccoon that visits New York City.

Happiness is having a large, caring, close-knit family in another city.

Download image โ†“

Commentary:
"Ah, the joys of long-distance love… I mean, family relationships! ๐Ÿ™๏ธ๐Ÿ’– Who needs daily drama when you can have a loving clan just a plane ride away? ๐Ÿ›ซ๐Ÿ˜„ It's all about that perfect balance of closeness and distance, am I right?"

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Keep the laugh going ๐Ÿ˜‚

Trending Funny Quotes ๐Ÿ‘‡

Funny Quotes Collections
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Social Media Stars โญ

94 shares on LinkedIn this month:

A spiral is just a circle that’s afraid of closure.

14 shares on WeChat this month:

I’ve been commissioned to kiss you on the lips. I need to get this done by tonight.

22 shares on Twitch this month:

I still canโ€™t believe Aldi sells shopping carts for 25 cents. Iโ€™ve got 8 of them now and donโ€™t really even have a use for them, it was just too good of a deal to pass up.

74 shares on Snapchat this month:

Sorry, Mom, I can’t go outside, I’m ugly.

87 shares on Discord this month:

Schedule your appointment early in the month before your dentist starts fretting about their next boat payment.

59 shares on TikTok this month:

Being naked with shoes on feels more naked than being totally naked.

67 shares on Pinterest this month:

Roses are red, my name is not Dave, this makes no sense, microwave.

72 shares on Slack this month:

I’m inventing a website for unemployed people called LinkedOut.

68 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Iโ€™m uncomfortable around tall people. What if they pick me up and put me on their shoulders?

12 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Opening up to people is a scam. Don’t do it.

Trending Topics ๐Ÿ“

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes ๐Ÿ’ฅ

8 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

Come on, brain, release the happy chemicals.

24 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

Might put on a bikini and run through your DMs.

5 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

One thing I have noticed about getting older is having to stop for a short nap halfway through scrolling down to my year of birth when completing online forms.

22 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

I hope you catch the bouquet at my funeral.

6 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

When I was a kid I thought shrimp cocktails had alcohol in them and I thought it was such a weird way to get drunk.

20 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

A weighted blanket isnโ€™t enough today, I need to be compressed into a zip-file.

9 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

You never know how strong you are until someoneโ€™s story runs more than 5 minutes long.

20 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

โ€œYou have reached your monthly article limit,โ€ – a website youโ€™ve never accessed before today.

17 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

You wish you had this many chins.

24 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

This email couldโ€™ve been sex.

Funny Quotes Data ๐Ÿค“

New Funny Quotes

calculatingโ€ฆ

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 19, 2026

Users Online

3,404

Activity Log โœจ

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡น๐Ÿ‡ป has viewed:

I’m either freezing, peeing, or starving.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฒ๐Ÿ‡ฆ has bookmarked:

If the Beatles were just 4 lads from Liverpool, imagine what 400 lads from Liverpool would sound like. But y’all aren’t ready for that conversation.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฒ๐Ÿ‡บ has shared:

My tombstone will read “Hey there, I’m using WhatsApp!”.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ง๐Ÿ‡ฟ has viewed:

Sometimes I just say “no idea” because I’m too lazy to think.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡จ๐Ÿ‡ซ has viewed:

Who called it America and not the fast food and the furious?

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ช๐Ÿ‡จ has downloaded:

I have a drawer in my kitchen that I canโ€™t open anymore because of that one time I decided to put a spatula in it.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฌ๐Ÿ‡น has downloaded:

There’s something meditative about cleaning. It’s the perfect time to reflect and plan revenge on every single person who has ever wronged you.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ต๐Ÿ‡น has bookmarked:

Nothing is smaller than the X on ads to click them away.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ณ๐Ÿ‡ฑ has viewed:

My husband has entered the โ€œfun socksโ€ years.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡น has shared:

You can always tell when a manโ€™s mustache is performative and not representative of his true spirit.

Social Media Log ๐Ÿ’ซ

Just shared via Instagram:

Picking up women at the bar and then gently setting them down.

Trending via Threads:

We used to pass notes in class like spies. Folded like origami. Deep like Shakespeare.

Shared recently on Threads:

Idiocracy wasnโ€™t supposed to be a documentary.

Just shared via Discord:

Americans are funny, man. “It’s 72 degrees outside.” Bro, I don’t speak oven.

Going viral on Slack:

Whole crypto scheme is built on people too dumb for crypto that aren’t self-aware enough to realize it.

Just landed via Facebook:

Due to unforeskin circumcistances …

Shared recently on Slack:

Garlic and bread is the only marriage I truly have faith in.

Seen just now on Slack:

Imagine if social media closed every day at 6pm like a shop.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

I feel like I should give my air conditioner a plaque for employee of the month.

Making waves on TikTok:

Imagine hating me and Iโ€™m just here trying to push a door that says pull.

ยฉ 2026. All rights reserved.

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