Happiness is having a large, caring, close-knit family in another city.

77 shares on Telegram this month:

The struggle to get off the couch and into bed is real.

99 shares on Telegram this month:

I be outside telling people I don’t got social media when they ask.

48 shares on Instagram this month:

Living in your parent’s house is free because you pay with your soul.

22 shares on Facebook this month:

All quiet on the frontal lobe.

59 shares on Slack this month:

Doctors are always giving me Ibuprofen. Man, give me something I can sell.

91 shares on TikTok this month:

Dentists get rich by staring into your mouth for 30 seconds, playing sinking ships with their assistant, and then telling you to brush better.

58 shares on Messenger this month:

Toasters aren’t governed by that little dial. They have free will.

15 shares on YouTube this month:

I changed my password to ‘incorrect’ so whenever I forget it, the computer tells me it’s incorrect, and I’m like, ‘Wow, you didn’t have to be so rude about it.’

77 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Your woman will take 2 hours to get ready, but if you don’t have your shoes on when she is ready, you’re the problem.

90 shares on Instagram this month:

Born to say “are you f*****g stupid”, forced to say “wow, I’ve never thought about it like that before”.