Trendy Funny Quotes

  • My only knowledge of animals is that turtles like pizza and cats like lasagna.
  • Sometimes I rock it as a parent, other times I drop my phone on my sleeping child while taking a picture of it. It’s called balance.
  • I wanna meet the person whose parents are super disappointed he went to medical school instead of becoming a stand-up comedian.
  • But if I get tinted windows, how will people see me flipping them off?
  • Gonna get my eye looked at today. Usually it’s the other way around.
  • Too young to retire, too poor to quit and too fat to strip – so let’s move on.