Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇾 has downloaded:

Not to brag, but I drove and found a place I was looking for without turning down my music today.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has shared:

You want me to pay attention to the details? The thing the devil is in?

Someone from 🇯🇵 has downloaded:

It’s hard to sleep knowing that Coke is in the fridge.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has viewed:

Chickens only make one sound, because they can’t think outside the bawks.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has shared:

Coconut water taste like it’s been in someone else’s mouth.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has shared:

It’s funny how cats have ears on top of their head, but don’t use them.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has shared:

This tape doesn’t even taste like scotch.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has downloaded:

When I put on weight, it’s around my stomach. When I lose weight, it’s around my legs. I’m not a structural engineer, but that can’t be good.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has downloaded:

“You look tired!” Bro, I want to stop existing.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has shared:

After a lot of experience, I can conclude that one can never actually cross “washing dishes” off the to-do list.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Feb 3, 2026

3,738

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Messenger:

Hike in groups. Bears like to have options.

Making waves on TikTok:

Straighten your back and drink some water, you dehydrated banana.

Just shared via Pinterest:

Odd people reviewing a dessert: It’s not too sweet which is what I like.

Breaking via Instagram:

Well, maybe grass should touch me for once. How about that?

Breaking via Telegram:

What if all the ancient Greek sculptures are actually victims of Medusa?

Live now on Messenger:

“Why don’t you tell us anything anymore?” I’ve updated my privacy policy.

Just landed via Telegram:

If I buy the circus, the monkey will be the manager.

Going viral on Facebook:

Long-distance couples be like, “I can’t wait,” and then they wait.

Going bananas on Snapchat:

My dental hygienist is probably thinking, I bet i could braid this guys nose hair.

Shared recently on Instagram:

To the guy who invented zero, thanks for nothing.

Happiness is having a large, caring, close-knit family in another city.

1 week ago

Witty quote about finding happiness in a distant, caring family far away.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Ah, the joys of long-distance love… I mean, family relationships! 🏙️💖 Who needs daily drama when you can have a loving clan just a plane ride away? 🛫😄 It's all about that perfect balance of closeness and distance, am I right?"

caring, city, close-knit, distance, family, happiness, humor, irony, relationships

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

10 shares on Twitch this month:

People text you when you look good in photos.

48 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Okay, I’ve proved I’m not a robot, now you prove you’re not a human.

66 shares on TikTok this month:

Somethіng wrong іn your lіfe? There’s a nap for that.

69 shares on Snapchat this month:

Me before grocery shopping: only healthy foods, no impulse buys, I can do this. Me during grocery shopping: they make chocolate filled marshmallows?

70 shares on Twitch this month:

What is it called when you’re smart but everything you do is freaking stupid?

25 shares on TikTok this month:

Me: I’m an introvert. Vodka: No, you’re not.

47 shares on Instagram this month:

They get real weird at the gun store if you walk in crying and asking for “the biggest one”.

29 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Those eyes ain’t gonna roll itself, let me help you.

34 shares on Reddit this month:

Hell hath no fury like a toddler who lost the chance to push a button.

55 shares on Discord this month:

When I was a kid, we still ate noodles. Then at some point we ate pasta. Today, we only eat carbs.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Deleted all dating apps, instead I’m just going to walk into a grocery store and look confused.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s truly insane when bosses assume their employees are working for any reason other than a paycheck.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

The Midwest urge to have a drink on a patio as soon as it’s nice out.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

I commented to a friend that I didn’t know how goofy Scream was. It turns out I have never seen Scream. I saw Scary Movie.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Is ice cream for dinner a thing, because ice cream for dinner should be be a thing.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

We literally used to write an essay by hand.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Rental car companies seem so insanely helpless at their one job. You show up at the airport, reservation in hand, and they’re like, ‘Wait, really? You wanted a car? Sorry, you totally caught me off guard.’

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Every time I do something stupid, my dad stares at my mom like he wants a refund.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Everyone else time traveling: Preventing wars or the spread of disease. Me: Buying multiple pairs of my favorite shoes they’ve stopped making.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

I could have been the favorite mistress of the Sun King at Versailles, but nooooooooo I had to be born into late stage capitalism.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,448

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇱 has bookmarked:

Libraries were a good start, but we really need to keep working on the number of places where people shouldn’t be allowed to talk.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has bookmarked:

I was the most patient parent and then I had kids.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has copied:

I can’t be bothered with people that can’t be bothered.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has viewed:

There should be a good 10 hours in between waking up and having to interact with people.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has shared:

Grant me the serenity to supernaturally change the things I cannot accept.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has shared:

Technology has gone too far, man. My roommate is logged out of his lightbulbs because he forgot his password.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has downloaded:

How do I get one of those fake corporate jobs where I work remotely, get paid for responding to one email a day, and have a laptop on with Outlook or whatever open?

Someone from 🇱🇹 has bookmarked:

Dear recipe websites. I don’t need your life story. Just give me the recipe.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has viewed:

That’s not my girl bestie, that’s my platonic wife.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has shared:

I’m only staying up until midnight on New Year’s to watch that bloody year die.

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

I love being a girly girl and going to sleep all moisturized, juicy, and soft. Lip balm on. Layering on scents just to beauty rest.

Spotted on X:

Іf Empire Strikes Back isn’t a Christmas movie, then why is there so much snow in it?

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

I hate managing money, I was born to splurge.

Spotted on YouTube:

I wish I was a moose. No work, no school, just eating grass and wrecking cars.

Freshly posted on X:

The older I get, the more I realize how much I love being at home, doing nothing.

Live now on Threads:

My mom asked me where I’m taking her to eat on Mother’s Day. I told her we have food at home.

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

Porn looks so funny when you’re not horny.

Making waves on TikTok:

That awkward moment between birth and death.

Just shared via Snapchat:

With a lollipop in one hand and a dandelion in the other, concentration is very important, as every summer child knows.

Just landed via YouTube:

Do you think Yoda says “7-6” instead?

© 2026. All rights reserved.

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴