Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Leftover pizza for breakfast: the delicious loophole in life where cold becomes gourmet 🍕🌞 Who needs scrambled eggs when you can have a slice of last night's happiness? 😄 #BreakfastOfChampions"

blessing, breakfast, convenience, food, humor, indulgence, leftover, leftover pizza, meal, pizza

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Two words have helped me open a lot of doors in my life. Push and Pull.

1 week ago

advice, doors, humor, life, life advice, lot, me, motivation, open, pull, push, wordplay, words
Only DM me if you like disappointment.

3 weeks ago

disappointment, DM, humor, me, media, messaging, only, sarcasm, social, social media
Nothing good happens on the credit card after midnight.

2 weeks ago

after, bad, bad decisions, card, credit, credit card, decisions, good, humor, late, late night, midnight, money, night, nightlife, nothing, spending
I’m on that new diet where you eat anything you want and you pray for a miracle.

1 week ago

diet, eat, food, humor, loss, miracle, new, pray, weight, weight loss
Coffee ain’t cutting it anymore. I need to eat batteries.

1 week ago

battery, caffeine, coffee, craving, cutting, eat, energy, humor, i, need
It’s cute when kids say what they want to be when they grow up. You’re gonna write emails on the computer, buddy.

2 weeks ago

aspirations, computer, cute, emails, grow, grow up, humor, kids, say, want

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Social Media Stars ⭐

44 shares on WeChat this month:

It feels like a million o’clock right now.

27 shares on Discord this month:

I love being a pretty woman because it widens the threshold for cringe-worthy things I can say.

76 shares on Reddit this month:

Cooking with glasses on is so humiliating. Why did I just get blinded by steam?

86 shares on Discord this month:

I miss my kids the most when they go to bed and the mosquitoes go after me because they have no other options.

24 shares on Discord this month:

It’s okay if you don’t like me, not everyone has good taste.

96 shares on Telegram this month:

The older I get, I realize my mom was right, but I just didn’t like her tone.

86 shares on TikTok this month:

There’s no post-breakup healing process for girls. You just wake up one day and be like, “Ew,” and you’re free.

80 shares on Threads this month:

Processed food was literally designed for you to eat. Organic is just some crap they found on the ground somewhere.

68 shares on X this month:

Lie about the gap in your resume. Tell them you had to help some Hobbits take a ring to Mordor or something.

63 shares on Telegram this month:

I think my dog always follows me to the bathroom because I always follow him outside and he thinks that’s the way it works.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇸 has bookmarked:

My parents told me I could be anything I wanted so I became unacceptable.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has shared:

It’s not my job to tell people where they’re failing in life. It’s just a hobby.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has viewed:

I’ve arrived like the sun: blinding, necessary, and impossible to ignore.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has copied:

All our dogs think we quit our jobs to spend more time with them. All our cats think we got fired for being lazy.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has bookmarked:

Apparently, throwing the remote against the wall didn’t help recharging the batteries.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has copied:

According to my calculations, we’re all screwed.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has viewed:

In my opinion, those who go jogging on a Sunday morning certainly don’t have a comfortable sofa.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has shared:

How would someone cancel an appointment at a sperm bank? Do you just call them and say you can’t come?

Someone from 🇮🇷 has bookmarked:

Babe, you’re not acting according to my delusions right now.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has shared:

The worst thing is finding out the “sweet guy” is just a lustful loser.

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

If cartoons have taught us anything, it’s the uselessness of little umbrellas when plummeting from a cliff.

Live now on Facebook:

I think one quality that makes me incredibly attractive is that I keep my mouth shut when I have nothing to say.

Spotted on Telegram:

In case you wanna quit vaping, I’d suggest using a harmonica.

Just shared via Telegram:

I’ve decided that I’m going to underthink today.

Seen just now on Facebook:

The Cranberries. Great band name. You pick a fruit and you get to work.

Spotted on Discord:

They should invent a man who is being genuine when he says things to me.

Just landed via Twitch:

Let the kids believe in Santa. I believed the Undertaker and Kane were brothers.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

To save money in this economy, I’ve tried eating out and I’ve tried cooking at home. The answer is starvation.

Going viral on Threads:

I named my wifi “The Promised LAN” because it always connects, but occasionally leaves you wandering in the desert looking for a better signal.

Shared recently on X:

Coffee tastes so much better handed to me.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Having leftover pizza for breakfast is an actual blessing.

Keep the laugh going 😂

Two words have helped me open a lot of doors in my life. Push and Pull.

Only DM me if you like disappointment.

Nothing good happens on the credit card after midnight.

I’m on that new diet where you eat anything you want and you pray for a miracle.

Coffee ain’t cutting it anymore. I need to eat batteries.

It’s cute when kids say what they want to be when they grow up. You’re gonna write emails on the computer, buddy.

Social Media Stars ⭐

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