60 funny pizza quotes - Wordgag

Sometimes I think the subway rat is doing better than me. He has a routine, a social circle, and knows where to find the best pizza.

May 30, 2026

Pizza crusts go uneaten, but people will devour an entire pan of breadsticks.

May 30, 2026

The way I see it, eating chips while I wait for my pizza to arrive is no different than ordering a starter in a restaurant.

May 30, 2026

If we were subway rats, I’d share my pizza crust with you.

May 30, 2026

If you ever feel like a failure, just remember, Domino’s tried to open pizza chains in Italy.

May 30, 2026

Cancelling a date so I can order pizza and go to bed at 8:30 p.m.

May 30, 2026

Carrying a pizza in public feels like you’re showing off.

May 29, 2026

Ordering 600 pizzas from Washington, D.C., to rug pull on Polymarket.

May 29, 2026

Pizza should be free for anyone having a bad day.

May 29, 2026

Pizza rolls are comfort food because they look like little pillows.

May 29, 2026

Want to come over? We can trauma dump, take a nap, and then order a pizza and watch a movie.

May 28, 2026

If you’re going to give me some food for thought, it had better be a pizza, or I’m out.

May 28, 2026

If you put a pizza on top of a pizza, you have two pizzas. But if you stack two lasagnas, then you still have one lasagna.

May 28, 2026

Not a fan of frozen pizza. Too cold, in my opinion.

May 28, 2026

Don’t give up on your dreams. If cauliflower can be pizza and zucchini can be noodles, you too can be anything you want.

May 28, 2026

Nothing tops a plain pizza.

May 28, 2026

Will mosquitoes ever develop a pizza obsession and end their pursuit of human blood?

May 27, 2026

Do you think working at Pizza Hut would help you get a job at Sunglass Hut? You know, with all that hut experience?

May 27, 2026

Trying to decide what to burn for dinner, so I can order pizza.

May 27, 2026

I don’t get vegetables on my pizza because I don’t like mixing business with pleasure.

May 27, 2026

Once you understand why pizza is made round, packed in square boxes, and eaten as a triangle, then you will understand women.

May 27, 2026

I am on a diet where you just speak Italian: “Pasta,” “Pizza,” and “I’m leaving Rooma for dessert.”

May 27, 2026

There are no laws against pineapples on pizza.

May 26, 2026

Forget mini pizzas. I want one so big it needs a forklift to rotate it.

May 26, 2026

Instead of those cute mini pizzas, they should invent gigantic ones that take four people to carry.

May 26, 2026

Me, watching porn: they’re just going to let that pizza get cold?

May 26, 2026

The delivery guy absolutely hates it when I call him my pizza mule.

May 26, 2026

Having leftover pizza for breakfast is an actual blessing.

May 26, 2026

The key to happiness: 1/ order a pizza. 2/ eat that pizza. 3/ repeat!

May 26, 2026

I love airports because the rules of society don’t apply. Eat a pizza and have a glass of wine at 7 am while in track pants. Nobody cares.

May 25, 2026

Just imagine how great life would be if pizza made you skinny.

May 25, 2026

My body is a machine that turns pizza into diarrhea.

May 25, 2026

I taught my kids about democracy tonight by having them vote on which movie to watch and pizza to order. I then picked the movie and pizza because I’m the one with the money.

May 25, 2026

Even on the coldest of days, there’s such peace found in the warm embrace of a hot pizza.

May 25, 2026

Every frozen pizza is a canvas that needs an artist’s touch.

May 25, 2026

Waiting for the websites to start offering pizza instead of just cookies.

May 24, 2026

Celery is 95% water and 100% not pizza.

May 24, 2026

In general, I like company, but not when I am with my pizza.

May 24, 2026

I’m so thankful I live on the planet that has pizza.

May 24, 2026

If you order a pizza with veggies on it, you can tell people you had a salad.

May 24, 2026