60 funny pizza quotes - Wordgag

Good news: I only ate one slice of pizza. Bad news: I did that four times in a row.

May 21, 2026

The worst part about being drunk and seeing double is when you realize it’s just one slice of pizza.

May 21, 2026

My only knowledge of animals is that turtles like pizza and cats like lasagna.

May 21, 2026

When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, that’s amore. When you swim in the sea and an eel bites your knee, that’s a moray.

May 21, 2026

I’m gonna start sending women unsolicited pizza pics.

May 21, 2026

My whole life just flashed before my eyes and there was way too much pizza.

May 21, 2026

Twitter is fun because you can post a pic of pizza and people will get mad at you.

May 20, 2026

My real introduction to classical music came from watching Tom & Jerry cartoons as a kid. Also how I got into sadism.

May 20, 2026

The pizza delivery guys say “see you tomorrow” to everyone, right?

May 20, 2026

I never sit around waiting for anyone except for the pizza delivery guy.

May 20, 2026

One day you’re 18 eating pizza for every lunch, then suddenly you’re 30 and eating salad with celery and kale juice.

May 20, 2026

I bought all this healthy food at the grocery store today and now I’m trying to decide if I want Chinese food or pizza delivered for dinner tonight.

May 20, 2026

It’s funny how people without pizzas in their hands actually think I’ll answer my door.

May 19, 2026

Sometimes I think the subway rat is doing better than me. He has a routine, a social circle, and knows where to find the best pizza.

May 19, 2026

Pizza crusts go uneaten, but people will devour an entire pan of breadsticks.

May 19, 2026

The way I see it, eating chips while I wait for my pizza to arrive is no different than ordering a starter in a restaurant.

May 19, 2026

If we were subway rats, I’d share my pizza crust with you.

May 18, 2026

If you ever feel like a failure, just remember, Domino’s tried to open pizza chains in Italy.

May 18, 2026

Cancelling a date so I can order pizza and go to bed at 8:30 p.m.

May 18, 2026

Carrying a pizza in public feels like you’re showing off.

May 6, 2026

Ordering 600 pizzas from Washington, D.C., to rug pull on Polymarket.

May 6, 2026

Pizza should be free for anyone having a bad day.

Apr 1, 2026

Pizza rolls are comfort food because they look like little pillows.

Apr 1, 2026

Want to come over? We can trauma dump, take a nap, and then order a pizza and watch a movie.

Mar 31, 2026

If you’re going to give me some food for thought, it had better be a pizza, or I’m out.

Mar 31, 2026

If you put a pizza on top of a pizza, you have two pizzas. But if you stack two lasagnas, then you still have one lasagna.

Mar 31, 2026

Not a fan of frozen pizza. Too cold, in my opinion.

Mar 31, 2026

Don’t give up on your dreams. If cauliflower can be pizza and zucchini can be noodles, you too can be anything you want.

Mar 31, 2026

Nothing tops a plain pizza.

Mar 31, 2026

Will mosquitoes ever develop a pizza obsession and end their pursuit of human blood?

Mar 30, 2026

Do you think working at Pizza Hut would help you get a job at Sunglass Hut? You know, with all that hut experience?

Mar 30, 2026

Trying to decide what to burn for dinner, so I can order pizza.

Mar 30, 2026

I don’t get vegetables on my pizza because I don’t like mixing business with pleasure.

Mar 30, 2026

Once you understand why pizza is made round, packed in square boxes, and eaten as a triangle, then you will understand women.

Mar 30, 2026

I am on a diet where you just speak Italian: “Pasta,” “Pizza,” and “I’m leaving Rooma for dessert.”

Mar 30, 2026

There are no laws against pineapples on pizza.

Mar 29, 2026

Forget mini pizzas. I want one so big it needs a forklift to rotate it.

Mar 29, 2026

Instead of those cute mini pizzas, they should invent gigantic ones that take four people to carry.

Mar 29, 2026

Me, watching porn: they’re just going to let that pizza get cold?

Mar 29, 2026

The delivery guy absolutely hates it when I call him my pizza mule.

Mar 29, 2026