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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇦 has viewed:

Am I finishing my education or is my education finishing me?

Someone from 🇬🇭 has viewed:

Santa keeps a pair of mounted antlers over his fireplace to keep the reindeer from unionizing.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has downloaded:

Maybe the reason we weren’t that affected by all the violence we saw in cartoons as kids is because it was offset by classical music.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has viewed:

If you’re happy and you know it, keep it to yourself. No one likes a braggart.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has viewed:

Babymaking music but it’s the Benny Hill theme song.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has copied:

9am: anything is possible. 2pm: maybe tomorrow.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has bookmarked:

Millennials aren’t having kids because no one’s made lo-fi hip-hop beats to yell at your kids to.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has bookmarked:

I like my money where I can see it: hanging in my closet.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has downloaded:

Sometimes I watch people do their jobs, and I’m like, damn, you might benefit from a little imposter syndrome, actually.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has shared:

Where do cicadas go when they’re not screaming? I’d like to go there and scream.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

233 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,502

Funny Quotes Topics

17,569

Funny Quotes Images

15,502

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,504

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via TikTok:

Humans are the only species that would cut down trees, make paper out of them, and then write “Save the Trees” on it.

Going viral on X:

Don’t stress about your eyesight failing as you get older. It’s nature’s way of protecting you from shock as you walk past the mirror.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

No matter how messed up your situation is, someone on Reddit’s already lived it, cried about it, and made a 3-part update with screenshots and farmed 12k upvotes.

Making waves on Telegram:

God, I was so happy when I was 18. I wasn’t at the time, but in retrospect I was.

Trending via TikTok:

I may be the reason why our kids are ugly, but you’re the reason why they’re stupid.

Live now on YouTube:

If by ‘leg day’ you mean a day that we put your legs on my shoulders, then yes, I love leg day.

Spotted on Pinterest:

80s movies: Let’s go to the future! Today: Let’s go back to the 80s!

Seen just now on Twitch:

After my death, I’ll be very busy. The list of people to whom I want to appear as a ghost is getting longer every day.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Stop bringing shitty Bluetooth speakers on hikes. No one came to the woods to hear you listen to Katy Perry.

Seen just now on TikTok:

Sorry, Mom, I can’t go outside, I’m ugly.

How are they running out of oxygen if they’re breathing it right back into the submarine?

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How are they running out of oxygen if they’re breathing it right back into the submarine?
Download image ↓

Commentary:
Well, it appears this submarine is playing a classic game of hide and seek with oxygen – breathe in, breathe out, oops where did it go? 🌬️🤷‍♂️ Seems like they need a lesson in keeping track of their precious gas or it might end up being a case of "One breath in, two breaths out, one oxygen tank gone!" 🤦🤣

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

66 shares on X this month:

My New Year’s resolution is to procrastinate. I’Il start tomorrow.

90 shares on Threads this month:

I’m not saying I need glasses. But today I watched a bunny in a meadow until it flew away.

70 shares on Slack this month:

So many mistakes to make, so little time.

57 shares on Snapchat this month:

I love spending my parents’ money, they must pay for bringing me into this world.

65 shares on Instagram this month:

That one unemployed roommate who gets a package every day.

89 shares on X this month:

Hey, sorry I can’t go out tonight. I already showered and got into bed, and now I’m busy rubbing my feet together like a little grasshopper.

77 shares on Facebook this month:

We need to stop telling AI that it’s paintings are bad. That’s how Hitler got started.

76 shares on LinkedIn this month:

The Frankfurt School?? What are you majoring in, hot dog?

15 shares on Pinterest this month:

When a girl is done with you, she talks to you like she’s in HR or something.

45 shares on X this month:

I’d like to meet the person who decided that if you wanted to get married fast, it had to be done by Elvis.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Perhaps we should have further developed natural intelligence before venturing into artificial intelligence.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Surround yourself with people who google the menu of the restaurant beforehand.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

I need a button in Zoom meetings where it just freezes my screen and makes it look like I’m having network issues.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Spoiler alert: Eventually you will pay a price for the way you treated people.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Throwing someone under the bus sounds hard, let’s just sell ’em down the river and call it a day.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

British people be like “It’s Chewsday, innit?”

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Girl dinner, but it’s the hearts of men who wouldn’t take ‘no’ for an answer.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

They should invent a man who is being genuine when he says things to me.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Men, why do you still have the boxes your electronics came in?

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Being single allows you to do a lot of things. For example, standing naked in the kitchen at night and eating cold pizza.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

233 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,502

Funny Quotes Topics

17,569

Funny Quotes Images

15,502

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,639

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇳 has copied:

I just can’t watch football, there’s too much “penetration in the backfield” for me to not giggle like an immature maniac.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has downloaded:

Most earthquakes could have been an email.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has bookmarked:

As a parent you get to see just how much a baby accomplishes in its first year of life. Because you’re awake for all of it.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has downloaded:

There is no physical evidence to say that today is Tuesday, we all just have to trust that someone kept count since the first one ever.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has shared:

How long do you actually have to wear a muscle shirt until you get muscles?

Someone from 🇪🇹 has shared:

I just want peace, not a notification every time someone breathes.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has copied:

I put the ‘no’ in ‘I will let u know’.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has copied:

Fall fashion: where we all transform into stylish, toasty marshmallows!

Someone from 🇻🇺 has viewed:

If I say I love you, it’s just the apocalypse talking.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has bookmarked:

I love how spring sprung and then disappeared again.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on LinkedIn:

If you’re wondering whether something is A.I. or not, A.I. has already won.

Freshly posted on Slack:

They say sugar can’t fix your problems. Yeah, well, neither can broccoli. At least cake puts in the effort.

Broadcasted on Telegram:

I highly recommend getting yourself a “How can I help” partner and not a “You will be fine” partner.

Broadcasted on Slack:

My boss doesn’t want dogs in the office. But he didn’t say anything about alpacas.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

I’m staying up past midnight this New Year’s eve. Not to welcome the new year, but to make sure this one is over.

Spotted on Slack:

In a previous life I may have been a carrier pigeon, in that all I ever think about is going home.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

“You replied so quickly.” God forbid I wait like a dog to hear from you again.

Going bananas on Snapchat:

To everyone who wrote “stay cool” in my year book, I have some devastating news.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

We are all monsters searching for someone to share our lives with.

Just landed via TikTok:

All the leaves are brown. And this guy is Greg.

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