14 funny breathing quotes - Wordgag

The breathing exercises from the birth preparation course are only needed once the child has reached puberty.

May 22, 2026

I’m the only person breathing through my nose at this Walmart.

May 22, 2026

I hate commas. It’s not my job to tell you when you breathe. Work it out, you’re a grown adult.

May 20, 2026

Interrupt my sleep and I’ll interrupt your breathing.

May 20, 2026

Oxygen was discovered in 1773. How did our ancestors breathe before then?

May 18, 2026

I hate it when someone asks me what I did yesterday. I don’t know. Breathed a lot, probably got mad at something … sighed heavily. The list goes on.

Mar 31, 2026

Everyone thinks they won’t be that couple that goes from ‘everything you do is a turn-on’ to ‘you’re breathing too loud,’ but they will be, oh, they will be.

Mar 30, 2026

Unknown numbers will call me, then expect me to talk first. Welcome to the breathing competition.

Mar 30, 2026

That awkward moment when someone you hate is breathing.

Mar 29, 2026

Having a blocked nose really makes you appreciate the finer things in life, like breathing normally.

Mar 29, 2026

Does anyone else stare at the dead body in movies to see if you can catch them breathing?

Mar 28, 2026

If you stand too close to me in the check out line, you may as well pay for my stuff while you’re breathing down my neck.

Mar 26, 2026

Remembering my youth, and a time where I could breath out of more than one nostril at once.

Mar 25, 2026

How are they running out of oxygen if they’re breathing it right back into the submarine?

Mar 25, 2026