134 Funny right quotes

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  14 hours ago

  View →: When I’m behind a slow car, I steer my car a little to the right so the people behind me can see that it isn’t my fault.
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  1 week ago

  View →: I don’t think I’ve ever made the right amount of pasta.
• 

  1 week ago

  View →: Sorry, I had feelings. I’ll replace them with jokes right away.
• 

  3 weeks ago

  View →: She’s probably just not using her phone right now for the first time ever in her whole life.
• 

  3 weeks ago

  View →: Just found out about confirmation bias, and now every article I read totally proves I was right to be worried about it.
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  4 weeks ago

  View →: I’m not arguing, I’m just explaining why I’m right.
• 

  1 month ago

  View →: Don’t fall for me — I’ll treat you right, and you’ll get bored and cheat.
• 

  1 month ago

  View →: It’s curious how kids are always really hungry right before dinner and right after dinner, but never during actual dinner.
• 

  2 months ago

  View →: My favorite military tradition is asking someone what an acronym means right after they use it, and they don’t know what it means.
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  2 months ago

  View →: My search history is filled with me googling regular words just to make sure I’m using them right.
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  2 months ago

  View →: I cannot imagine being in high school right now. Imagine the world is eating itself alive and you’re in school.
• 

  2 months ago

  View →: When they say screen time is bad for you, they just mean the ones at work, right?
• 

  2 months ago

  View →: I’m so single right now, I can’t even spell relayshaunship.
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  2 months ago

  View →: A lot of people think you need a lot of money to buy clothes. And they’re right.
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  2 months ago

  View →: Who is praying on my downfall right now and can you stop?
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  2 months ago

  View →: Choosing to ignore my strangely symbolic dream because I have a lot going on right now already.
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  2 months ago

  View →: Only money has the right to say “you’ll regret losing me”. The rest of you calm down.
• 

  3 months ago

  View →: I think Bigfoot had it right, stay in hiding from all the shitty human beings.
• 

  3 months ago

  View →: Downloading the Titanic soundtrack. It’s syncing right now.
• 

  3 months ago

  View →: I’m so high at Home Depot right now, and I have to ask where the hose at. And I know I’mma laugh when I do.
• 

  3 months ago

  View →: Dating scene and the job market are the same right now, just stay where you are.
• 

  3 months ago

  View →: My superpower? I can look you right in the eyes while you’re talking and not hear a single word you said.
• 

  3 months ago

  View →: Finally it’s Friday and I can go out. I’m putting the garbage out and I’ll be right back.
• 

  3 months ago

  View →: Some things are better left unsaid, which I certainly realize, right after I say them.
• 

  3 months ago

  View →: Salsa counts as a serving of vegetables, right?
• 

  3 months ago

  View →: All right everyone, line up alphabetically according to your height.
• 

  3 months ago

  View →: Just because you haven’t found the right person, doesn’t mean you will.
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  3 months ago

  View →: I’m not arguing, I’m just explaining why I’m right.
• 

  3 months ago

  View →: Ask your doctor if it’s right for you to eat oranges and pretend they’re planets and you’re a Greek god.
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  3 months ago

  View →: I am never hungrier than when I leave the dentist and told I can’t eat right away.

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