Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇲 has copied:

You have a bucket list, I have my head in a bucket, we are not the same.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has shared:

Oh, you’re in a situationship? Are you the one with commitment issues or the one with low self-worth?

Someone from 🇨🇴 has copied:

At my age, this “microsleep” can sometimes last hours.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has bookmarked:

As an academic, I sometimes dream about writing fiction instead, and then I remember grant proposals.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has bookmarked:

Some people call me crazy. I prefer the term happy with a twist.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has downloaded:

I don’t want to end this year on bad terms with anybody. Could you please apologize to me?

Someone from 🇨🇳 has copied:

You know those couples who share their food? I mean, what kind of people are they? Aren’t they hungry?

Someone from 🇸🇹 has viewed:

May her tire get flat with a dude who can’t change it.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has shared:

Micro-dosing time travel by going to bed.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has downloaded:

So heartbreaking to do laundry and realize you can’t wash the clothes you’re literally wearing right now… you will never have a completely fresh start.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,708

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Facebook:

You either have a full ketchup bottle in your house or an almost empty one. There’s no in-between.

Just shared via Threads:

You are the Monday of my life.

Just landed via YouTube:

There is still plenty of room in my heart, but the bouncer has become a little stricter in recent years.

Just landed via Slack:

I’m trying to quit making sexual innuendos but it’s so hard.

Going viral on Instagram:

The medicine for headache goes to the stomach to do what, exactly?

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Saying “You’re tearing this family apart” whenever someone argues with me.

Trending via Reddit:

Having leftover pizza for breakfast is an actual blessing.

Just shared via Instagram:

Unlocking new levels of iron deficiency.

Going viral on Discord:

That beeping of the parking assistant when you get too close to other cars. I’d like that for people.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

My keys fell in the snow, and now they’re gone forever — time to start a new life under a new name in a warmer climate.

How inappropriate is it to ask a stranger to scratch your back? Need to know ten minutes ago.

1 month ago

Witty quote about the awkwardness of asking strangers to scratch your back.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Desperate times call for desperate measures! 🙈 Maybe next time bring a back-scratcher just in case! 😂 #BackScratchEmergency"

awkward, back, humor, inappropriate, know, minutes, need, scratch, stranger

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Social Media Stars ⭐

22 shares on Snapchat this month:

Just got my steps in by avoiding someone I know.

78 shares on Snapchat this month:

What does my tattoo mean? It means I couldn’t be trusted with $200 when I was 18.

70 shares on Snapchat this month:

My boss told me to show initiative, so I decided to finish work early.

10 shares on WeChat this month:

Cocktails can be tricky, because they taste like juice, but then the next thing you know… you can’t walk.

79 shares on Threads this month:

I wouldn’t trust a single one of you with a flying car.

11 shares on Slack this month:

I bet she doesn’t even laugh at your dumb jokes the fake way I did.

69 shares on YouTube this month:

People who sound like fonts: Ariana Grande. Roman Roy. Jim Courier. Lydia West. Bon Iver. Suella Braverman. Jesse Ventura.

41 shares on TikTok this month:

Imagine hating me, and I’m just here unloading my dishwasher.

27 shares on TikTok this month:

If I was a priest, I’d make my side of the confession booth really big so I could run around.

98 shares on X this month:

People tell introverts to talk more and get out of their comfort zone, but no one tells extroverts to shut up to make the zone comfortable.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇳 has viewed:

Tomorrow isn’t promised, so eat that cake today.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has viewed:

If we start flirting now, we could be in matching pajamas on a Christmas card before the holidays.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has copied:

“American Pope” sounds like the name of an Amazon prime original series you ignore.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has copied:

If you wake up early enough, you can go back to sleep for a few hours. Not everyone knows this.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has copied:

“You’re in her DMs, my faint presence sits in her Spotify Wrapped through the music I introduced her to. We’re not the same.”

Someone from 🇨🇳 has copied:

And is the financial stability in the room with us right now?

Someone from 🇲🇻 has viewed:

We used to have “spring, summer, fall, winter”. Today we have “drama, drama, drama, drama”.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has viewed:

Willem Dafoe gets to be in two different Nosferatu movies, whereas the average person doesn’t even get to be in one.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has shared:

Me: God, please stop giving me your toughest battles. God: You just have to empty the dishwasher.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has viewed:

A worm is a pretty disappointing prize for getting up early, if you ask me.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Threads:

When women get to a certain weight, you’ll notice they change their social media profile pictures to flowers, cats, or dogs.

Going viral on Snapchat:

The older I get, the easier it is for me to look at a situation and say: “Yeahhh, I’m out.”

Making waves on TikTok:

Years of personal growth can be unraveled in 2 days at your parents’ house.

Shared recently on WeChat:

People who talk about fruit having too much sugar scare me so bad. Please get back, you wicked witch!

Trending via Discord:

Don’t know how to explain this, but “hot honey” is the pickleball of condiments (derogatory).

Making waves on Threads:

My dream car is a taco truck.

Spotted on Telegram:

My morning routine includes 10 minutes of sitting on my bed and thinking about how tired I am.

Freshly posted on Discord:

Please take your Apple Watch off if you are wearing a dress or formal attire. You look like a spy kid.

Making waves on Instagram:

Commenting “what about us?” on all Valentine pics this year.

Seen just now on Messenger:

Shoutout to everyone who works hard to support their dog’s extravagant lifestyle.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

How inappropriate is it to ask a stranger to scratch your back? Need to know ten minutes ago.

I don’t argue anymore. I just agree and let the plot unfold.

I hate being in that mood where nothing’s really wrong but nothing feels right either.

It’s funny how our brains remember that we have forgotten something, but not what we have forgotten.

I just ordered a life alert bracelet, so if I ever get a life, I will be notified immediately.

I fractured my laziness and dislocated my interest.

When I’m on hold and the song ends, I always expect someone to pick up the phone.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

How inappropriate is it to ask a stranger to scratch your back? Need to know ten minutes ago.

Keep the laugh going 😂

I don’t argue anymore. I just agree and let the plot unfold.

I hate being in that mood where nothing’s really wrong but nothing feels right either.

It’s funny how our brains remember that we have forgotten something, but not what we have forgotten.

I just ordered a life alert bracelet, so if I ever get a life, I will be notified immediately.

I fractured my laziness and dislocated my interest.

When I’m on hold and the song ends, I always expect someone to pick up the phone.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨