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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇹 has viewed:

I’m sorry that I bit you, I was trying to flirt.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has copied:

I just want someone who can read a book with me in silence, and then do ungodly things sometimes.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has downloaded:

You sound smart. You some kinda ‘ologist?

Someone from 🇲🇹 has copied:

Texting my boss to let him know how excited I am for work tomorrow.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has downloaded:

If they can bring back the dire wolf, they can bring back Norm Macdonald.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has viewed:

My hobbies include using the TV as background noise while I scroll on my phone.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has downloaded:

In filling out an application, where it says, “In case of emergency notify”, I put “Doctor.”

Someone from 🇯🇴 has viewed:

Ponytails are only hot on women, bro.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has copied:

Halloween pumpkins look even scarier if you just use the ones from last year.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has copied:

“You look happy.” Thanks, I stopped dating.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

215 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,484

Funny Quotes Topics

17,554

Funny Quotes Images

15,484

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,331

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on TikTok:

I eat my first meal of the day in the afternoon, bro. Don’t ask me for advice.

Going viral on Facebook:

*Pointing at a mothers shrieking baby* Is this guy bothering you?

Freshly posted on Twitch:

I’m broke — I got money, but it’s for responsibilities.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

You stop moving your mouse for 5 seconds, and Microsoft Teams will say you never showed up for work.

Broadcasted on TikTok:

Me, one week before the new year: Not to brag, but I have enough money to live comfortably for the rest of the year.

Live now on Twitch:

We need to stop making more Christmas music. We have enough.

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

When I try to figure out rows vs. columns, I just row away in my boat of confusion!

Spotted on YouTube:

Every time I see an odd screw on the floor somewhere, I think one of my loose ones has finally come out.

Shared recently on Slack:

Please stop adding touchscreens to cars. Most of these idiots can barely drive as it is.

Just shared via Pinterest:

Memes are the most information-dense form of communication.

How inappropriate is it to ask a stranger to scratch your back? Need to know ten minutes ago.

0
How inappropriate is it to ask a stranger to scratch your back? Need to know ten minutes ago.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Desperate times call for desperate measures! 🙈 Maybe next time bring a back-scratcher just in case! 😂 #BackScratchEmergency"

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

71 shares on Instagram this month:

The funniest thing about Batman is that he legitimately doesn’t give a shit about crime that happens during the day.

78 shares on Discord this month:

Whatever you ask the Universe for under this post, you will get next week.

32 shares on Telegram this month:

Hey bartender, can you turn down the music, please? This guy I just met is trying to explain how baseball works.

23 shares on TikTok this month:

80s movies: Let’s go to the future! Today: Let’s go back to the 80s!

19 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I hope this email punches you square in the face.

61 shares on TikTok this month:

That boring, introverted life you’re living has probably protected you from a lot of harm and bad experiences.

55 shares on Facebook this month:

What idiot called it Catfishing your Tinder Contacts and not Playing With Matches?

71 shares on Twitch this month:

Have you noticed? When the relationship is new, the guy is never busy.

84 shares on Discord this month:

A dating app called Unhinged where you agree to meet up and fight each other.

36 shares on Messenger this month:

It’s called Boxing Day because you’re supposed to spend it eating boxes.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

17 folks are currently checking 👀

I belong to the generation that repaired the TV with a single blow to the casing.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

When someone loses something, I like to ask helpful questions like ‘Where did you last see it?’ and ‘Where did you put it?’ and ‘Where is it?’

10 folks are currently checking 👀

I never forget to eat, but I do eat to forget.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Telling a child not to touch something only ensures that child is definitely now going to touch that something.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Two mysterious people live in my house. “Somebody” and “Nobody.” Somebody did it and nobody knows who.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Jesus died for your sins. If you don’t sin then he died for nothing!

24 folks are currently checking 👀

If Spotify has taught me anything, it’s that I don’t know the correct lyrics to any of my favorite songs.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

I think carefully about what I’m going to say and I still manage to say the wrong thing. It’s truly a gift I have.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Panties is such a weird word. Panties. I can’t say it sexy.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

And for my next trick, I’m going to make this first date the last date.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

215 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,484

Funny Quotes Topics

17,554

Funny Quotes Images

15,484

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,333

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇩 has copied:

You now have the chance to be the first person to send me nudes.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has copied:

I’m a big fan of that post-laundry feeling when you’ve got all your A-list clothes back in the game.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has bookmarked:

Line dancing was created by women waiting to use the restroom.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has downloaded:

A good audiobook will have you inventing chores to do.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has downloaded:

Long-distance couples be like, “I can’t wait,” and then they wait.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has downloaded:

People who live alone should get one practice conversation before they have to speak out loud for the first time that day.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has downloaded:

Aliens, robots, mutant ladybugs — whoever takes over will be better than this.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has viewed:

Don’t tell me that everything was better in the past. I was there.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has copied:

Tai Chi is so crazy because it’s like throwing a slow motion tantrum.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has copied:

Foolproof? Yeah, well we’ll see about that.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Discord:

I love being outside, just not when it’s too cold or too hot or too wet or too windy or if there are bugs.

Breaking via Telegram:

Hate when people ask “why is it called Silence of the Lambs?” Like, did you hear any lambs during the movie? Use your head!

Just shared via WeChat:

Lovingly looking at my dog knowing I’m about to ruin her day with a bath.

Trending via Twitch:

Ain’t no girls in my messages, just a bunch of verification codes.

Going bananas on Reddit:

Sorry, can’t make it, just remembered I don’t want to.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

When I’m feeling old, I like to visit my parents so they can push all my buttons until I lose my shit and just like that, I’m 16 again.

Just shared via Messenger:

How I clean my room: 1. Start in one corner. 2. Find something from six years ago and stare at it nostalgically for five hours. 3. Go to bed.

Going viral on Pinterest:

Oh, you’re in a situationship? Are you the one with commitment issues or the one with low self-worth?

Making waves on Telegram:

My hobby is misidentifying dinosaurs so my daughter can correct me.

Just landed via Snapchat:

My biggest fear about becoming a zombie is all the walking that I’d have to do.

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