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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇲 has shared:

Would have started saving money in kindergarten if I knew my life was like this.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has copied:

Avoid calls from pesky bill collectors by not paying your phone bill.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has viewed:

People acting all happy and energized first thing in the morning. Chill out! You aren’t a Teletubby.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has bookmarked:

Please don’t ask me what my hobbies are, I lost interest in life back in 6th grade.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has copied:

Muting morons is good for your health.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has viewed:

Insomnia is embarrassing. How can I be so bad at something that literally involves doing nothing?

Someone from 🇺🇾 has copied:

My favorite conspiracy theory is that things will get better.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has bookmarked:

But are we sure that stomachs are meant to be flat?

Someone from 🇵🇱 has copied:

Remember when we used to jump out of the swings? Those knees were fresh, fresh out the box.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has shared:

I like deadlines. They make me functional.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

243 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,512

Funny Quotes Topics

17,578

Funny Quotes Images

15,512

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,688

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on WhatsApp:

How does spaghetti know that I’m wearing light-colored clothes?

Just landed via Threads:

I miss being a kid. Nobody asks what my favorite dinosaur is anymore.

Going bananas on WeChat:

The global energy crisis could be solved if only we could harness the power of my wife slamming my car door.

Just shared via YouTube:

I was once told that if you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all. Due to this, I’ve been observing a vow of silence since 1997.

Just landed via Facebook:

My new phone is being delivered by Amazon, which means that I can track its movements for a day before it tracks mine for five years.

Seen just now on Instagram:

My favorite part about health insurance is how your teeth and eyeballs are add-ons.

Trending via TikTok:

Having a sunburn is so humiliating. Now everyone knows I was unprepared for the realities of the wilderness. It marks me as the weakest link. The hungry animals are closing in.

Breaking via Facebook:

People who live alone should get one practice conversation before they have to speak out loud for the first time that day.

Spotted on TikTok:

The best part about getting added to a group chat is leaving two weeks later.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Normalize bed-rotting in the holidays and not feeling guilty about it for your mental health.

How long do you actually have to wear a muscle shirt until you get muscles?

0
How long do you actually have to wear a muscle shirt until you get muscles?
Download image ↓

Commentary:
Oh, the eternal question that plagues the minds of bros worldwide! 🤔💪 It's like thinking that wearing a chef's hat will make you a master chef in seconds! 😂 Don't worry, folks, it's all about the magical transformation that will happen… eventually! Keep flexing those shirt sleeves and dream big! 💪👕 #MuscleShirtMagic

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

16 shares on Telegram this month:

Films and television have led me to believe that masquerade balls have a higher mortality rate than most wars.

40 shares on YouTube this month:

If I like you I keep you close, if not I keep you at a distance so I can mime squishing your head between my thumb and forefinger.

84 shares on Threads this month:

Noise-canceling headphones aren’t enough, I need everyone to shut up.

19 shares on WhatsApp this month:

It’s generally a good idea to start punching and throwing elbows immediately upon waking up because there may be enemies nearby.

20 shares on Discord this month:

Nothing ruins a Friday like realizing it’s only Wednesday.

11 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I don’t question my wife’s choices because I’m one of them.

36 shares on Slack this month:

It’s not the destination that matters. It’s the snacks you eat on the way.

24 shares on Messenger this month:

I replaced my old flat pillow that hurt my neck with a new fat fluffy pillow that hurts my neck.

69 shares on YouTube this month:

Coffee should just be free for anybody over 30.

38 shares on YouTube this month:

Fundamentally, I understand chess, because I too would never let my king feel unsafe.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

19 folks are currently checking 👀

I have good problem-solving skills, but my problem-creating skills are where I really shine.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Why did they call it long distance running and not fardio?

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Coffee just tastes better when you are the only one awake in the morning.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Genuinely nothing worse than going bowling with people who are actually good. Like, why are you doing all that?

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Fuzzy socks on and ready for anything.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Mornings would be fine if they started later.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Men be like, “That’s my dream girl,” then ruin her perspective of love forever.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

I applied for a job and got it, and now I really have to go there. Crap!

23 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m pretty sure by now that we’re some kind of satire channel on some other planet.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

“This too shall pass.” And then some other bullshit will come and take its place. It never f**king ends.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

243 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,512

Funny Quotes Topics

17,578

Funny Quotes Images

15,512

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,514

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇮 has bookmarked:

It’s like 10,000 Tupperwares when all you need is a lid.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has shared:

You now have the chance to be the first person to send me nudes.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has viewed:

Having a toddler is wild. I’m getting breaking news about Peppa Pig.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has viewed:

My bed is a magical place where I suddenly remember everything I forgot to do.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has bookmarked:

Life is like a box of chocolates. More expensive than I was expecting.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has bookmarked:

Nice thing about dating a doctor is if you wanna stop seeing them, you can just eat an apple.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has copied:

Transgender ambulance driver whose pronouns are we/you/we/you/we/you.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has viewed:

I want to be like a caterpillar. Eat a lot, sleep for a while, and then wake up beautiful.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has bookmarked:

I think more people would actually heal from their trauma if they got revenge.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has bookmarked:

Unfortunately, I could never be nonchalant because I am not well in the head, and also my soul is on fire.

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Twitch:

Naming my first daughter Piggleigh Wiggleigh.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Those security guards at the Samsung store are Guardians of the Galaxy.

Seen just now on Facebook:

Hold on, I just need to take off my glasses and put my face in my hands about it first.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Tourists love to think that they are not like other tourists.

Broadcasted on YouTube:

Nothing hits harder than opening the fridge for the fifth time, hoping new food magically appeared.

Making waves on X:

The way men eat when they’re single is nothing short of dehumanizing.

Going viral on Discord:

My kidnappers sent me back early with a full apology, some money, and several of their fingers.

Seen just now on Instagram:

There’s a disconnect between the decibel level of my car singing and my talent.

Just landed via Slack:

My insurance company said if my tent is stolen while I’m camping, I won’t be covered.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

I hope Instagram is still active during the apocalypse, so the zombies can post pics of whose brains they’re currently eating.

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