Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Oh, you don't know how to thank me? Well, last time I checked, money talks! 💸💁‍♂️ Don't worry, I accept payments in cash, check, or even a bag of tacos! 🌮😉"

appreciation, confusion, gratitude, humor, i, know, money, people, thank, understand

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Remember: The first step to recovery is addiction.

1 week ago

addiction, first step, humor, irony, recovery, remember, step
Whoever named frogs got it 100% right. Those things are frogs.

3 weeks ago

animal, frog, got, humor, joke, naming, right, things
Sometimes I can’t tell if I’m in preschool or school… Oh wait, I’m at work.

7 days ago

adulthood, confusion, humor, i, oh, preschool, school, tell, wait, work
“Delusional” ain’t a strong enough word to describe people anymore.

1 week ago

delusional, describe, enough, humor, people, perception, reality, strong, word
They say an apple a day keeps a doctor away. But what do I need to eat to keep everyone away?

4 days ago

apple, avoidance, away, day, doctor, eat, eating, everyone, food, health, humor, i, interaction, joke, keep, keeps, need, say, social, social interaction
Pro tip: Invest in pasta companies. Worth every penne.

2 weeks ago

company, every, finance, food, humor, invest, pasta, penne, pro, pro-tip, tip, worth

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

50 shares on Snapchat this month:

The trick is to be born in the right place and at the right time. If you mess that up, it gets tedious.

17 shares on Telegram this month:

The Sims fulfills the millennial fantasy of being able to afford a house in a walkable neighborhood on the salary of a professional carrot peeler.

11 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Why the hell did they name them ‘Soldier ants’ and not ‘Combatants’?

18 shares on TikTok this month:

I’m never really sure what to do with my hands when I go jogging, so I don’t go jogging.

38 shares on Twitch this month:

The only time anyone should watch the news is to study how psychological manipulation works on the general public.

53 shares on Pinterest this month:

Before Facebook, we would hold people hostage inside our homes by showing them photo albums of our vacation.

28 shares on X this month:

Being an adult is getting excited about buying new appliances.

39 shares on Pinterest this month:

I hate when I grab a live wire and everyone sees my damn skeleton.

64 shares on Facebook this month:

No one watches your story faster than someone who doesn’t talk to you.

27 shares on Threads this month:

I’m not an alcoholic, I only drink twice a year. When it’s sunny, and when it isn’t.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇻🇪 has shared:

We should put a tariff on being mean to me.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has downloaded:

I need the youth to start reading. Even if it’s the tag on your underwear. Read it.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has viewed:

When people give me directions and they’re like “you can’t miss it,” I’m like, “Oh, you do not know what I’m capable of.”

Someone from 🇰🇭 has shared:

It’s all fun and games until you send the clapping emoji instead of the prayer hands when commenting on the news of a death in the family.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has downloaded:

Аbsolutely crazy to thіnk that Leonardo DіCaprіo’s future gіrlfrіend іs currently nervous for her fіrst day of kіndergarten.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has shared:

I can’t even think straight knowing a package got delivered while I’m not home.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has copied:

People who live in glass houses shouldn’t change clothes.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has copied:

8 planets, 204 countries, thousands of islands, 7 seas, 8 billion people, and I’m single.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has bookmarked:

I’m not addicted to coffee. We’re just very close.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has shared:

What an embarrassing time to be alive.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Slack:

Just said “shitted feet” instead of “fitted sheet” in front of my my son and his friends. If you need me, I’ll be in the closet.

Trending via Pinterest:

Welcome to your 40s. Your eyes are now like a camera someone doesn’t know how to focus.

Spotted on Instagram:

Every laptop should have a “cat” button that disables the keyboard so they can nap.

Breaking via Instagram:

Wanted to report a YouTube video, but there is no option for “Cringe”, so I just picked “Terrorism”.

Trending via YouTube:

Be the elephant you wish to see in the room.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Diplomacy is the art of sending someone to hell in such a way that they look forward to the journey.

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

Mixing 1% milk and 2% milk to create the forbidden 1.72% milk.

Going viral on X:

I held the door for an old person today and he was like, “didn’t we go to high school together” and we did.

Trending via Messenger:

Whoever’s been in charge of the weather for the last few weeks seems to have fallen asleep on the couch with the remote control in their hand.

Trending via WeChat:

Did 900 crunches today. It was a bag of Cheetos, but still.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I don’t understand people who say “I don’t know how to thank you.” Like they never heard of money.

Keep the laugh going 😂

Remember: The first step to recovery is addiction.

Whoever named frogs got it 100% right. Those things are frogs.

Sometimes I can’t tell if I’m in preschool or school… Oh wait, I’m at work.

“Delusional” ain’t a strong enough word to describe people anymore.

They say an apple a day keeps a doctor away. But what do I need to eat to keep everyone away?

Pro tip: Invest in pasta companies. Worth every penne.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨