Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇫🇲 has viewed:

I followed my heart, and it led me to the fridge.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has viewed:

Your coworker is not hot; they’re just within 10 feet of you 40 hours a week.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has bookmarked:

Why waste words or gestures when a raised eyebrow is enough to make a statement?

Someone from 🇳🇵 has bookmarked:

Anyone know how to create an Outlook rule that sends every email to junk, deletes it, blocks the sender, and sets my laptop on fire?

Someone from 🇲🇺 has downloaded:

If I say “with all due respect,” nothing respectful is about to come out of my mouth.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has bookmarked:

Ever notice how many towns are named after their water tower?

Someone from 🇱🇦 has bookmarked:

I used to be sad about the climate apocalypse, but I went on a few dates and, honestly, I’m ready now.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has copied:

I should get paid a lot more for being the boss of me.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has viewed:

The only time your man will surprise you is when you specifically tell him what you want.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has shared:

My coworkers think I’m always busy, but I’m really just trying to remember my password.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,416

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

That masculine urge to completely avoid relationships until you get your life together.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

I don’t understand why judges get paid so much, others judge me for free.

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

Needs to be a Google Maps setting where you can ask them not to make you take a left across four lanes of oncoming traffic.

Going viral on WeChat:

One of my biggest faults is that when I ask someone their name, I forget to listen to what their name is.

Going bananas on YouTube:

I realized Americans were dramatics the day I found out 200 lb is just 90 kg.

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

Don’t worry, you’ll find the lost scissors when you’ll be searching for your glasses.

Just shared via TikTok:

My favorite machine at the gym is the vending machine.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

I end all my sentences with “Just saying..” because ending them with “You bonehead..” would probably be considered offensive.

Making waves on Snapchat:

A 20% discount sounds great until you realize you can’t afford the other 80%

Breaking via Pinterest:

My new drivers license arrived and when I opened it, I gasped. How’d they get a picture of my mother?

I drive like I’m immortal.

6 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Driving like you're in a video game, where's the restart button? 🚗💥😄

drive, driving, humor, i, immortality, reckless, reckless driving

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Not all who wander are lost. Some are just moms. In Target. Hiding from their children.

0

2 months ago

children, hiding, humor, just, lost, mom, parenting, shopping, Target, wander
My husband asked me if he had any annoying habits then got offended during the PowerPoint presentation.

0

2 months ago

annoying, annoying habit, communication, habit, habits, humor, husband, me, offended, offense, PowerPoint, presentation, relationship
My soulmate is probably out there, wondering if there’s life on earth.

0

2 months ago

Earth, existential, humor, life, love, relationship, soulmate, wondering
I deserve a dragon after all I’ve been through.

0

2 months ago

after, deserve, dragon, exaggeration, fantasy, humor, i, resilience, reward, sarcasm, through
Does everyone have that one colleague at work who puts you in a bad mood just by looking at them?

0

2 months ago

bad, bad mood, colleague, everyone, humor, just, looking, mood, negativity, office, work
She’s probably just not using her phone right now for the first time ever in her whole life.

0

2 months ago

detox, digital, digital detox, ever, everyday, everyday life, humor, just, life, novelty, phone, phone usage, right, surprise, technology, time, usage, using, whole

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

87 shares on Telegram this month:

My psych professor asked if we’d heard of Pavlov. I said, “It rings a bell.” No one laughed; I’m too witty for this class.

53 shares on Twitch this month:

Having children is a pyramid scheme.

91 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Hey kid, wanna hear a scary story? One day, you will be able to do whatever you want, and you will choose to stay home alone.

19 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I wish I could just drop my body off at the gym and pick it up later.

83 shares on Messenger this month:

I wish pets lived longer, and life wasn’t so expensive, and cake didn’t make you fat, and people weren’t twats.

19 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Doggystyle, so we can both look at the river.

31 shares on Facebook this month:

Crashed my car reading a billboard that said, “Don’t text and drive.”

59 shares on X this month:

I’m professionally employed and personally unhinged. Balance.

72 shares on TikTok this month:

Can you imagine if AI ever evolves into trying to kill us, and the thing that saves us is one of Cloudflare’s outages?

99 shares on WhatsApp this month:

You should be able to call out of work if your partner is so cozy and warm in the morning.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇭🇷 has shared:

I tried to scream into the abyss today but got a busy signal.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has downloaded:

A funny thing about the Heimlich Maneuver is that it’s impossible to pronounce if you’re choking.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has shared:

Employees should have to take their boss’s last name.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has viewed:

If the earth is so flat, explain why cats haven’t pushed everything off it yet. You can’t.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has bookmarked:

It was the kind of movie that kept you on the edge of your seat, waiting for something interesting to happen.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has downloaded:

Every time someone tries to fight with me online, a middle finger gets its wings.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has bookmarked:

I like running because it’s cheaper than paying for a gym membership. If the gym wants the money I owe them, they’ll have to catch me.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has shared:

It’s getting very expensive to be alive.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has downloaded:

Robots eating a bowl of cereal that’s actually a bunch of nuts and bolts, you don’t see that as much anymore.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has downloaded:

God: “You’re all really bad at this.”

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Facebook:

Once you realize that no one really cares how you’re doing, it becomes much easier to answer the question.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Aliens will always remain unidentified because they’re embarrassed to be associated with us humans.

Trending via YouTube:

Today I broke my personal record for most consecutive days lived.

Just landed via Facebook:

I believe in annoyed at first sight.

Going bananas on Messenger:

Y’all aren’t taking beautiful women to jazz clubs anymore, and that’s the problem.

Spotted on X:

Dating these days is like trusting a crackhead to come back with your change.

Seen just now on WeChat:

You got a better chance getting chased by a dog than by me.

Shared recently on WeChat:

I just lost all my tabs. Only now do I understand the tragedy that was the burning of the Library of Alexandria.

Shared recently on Twitch:

My favorite machine at the gym is the vending machine.

Seen just now on YouTube:

Psych meds aren’t enough anymore. Hit me with a shovel.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I drive like I’m immortal.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Not all who wander are lost. Some are just moms. In Target. Hiding from their children.

My husband asked me if he had any annoying habits then got offended during the PowerPoint presentation.

My soulmate is probably out there, wondering if there’s life on earth.

I deserve a dragon after all I’ve been through.

Does everyone have that one colleague at work who puts you in a bad mood just by looking at them?

She’s probably just not using her phone right now for the first time ever in her whole life.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨