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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇬 has viewed:

When the devil couldn’t reach me, he made my brain my biggest enemy.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has shared:

Yes, I upload photos with filters because I want to look good. If you want to see the ugly side of me, come to my house.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has bookmarked:

Why hasn’t Lululemon created a bra-line named Lulumelons?

Someone from 🇪🇨 has bookmarked:

Y’all made fun of Plankton on Spongebob for dating a computer, and look at y’all now.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has bookmarked:

I’m actually really good looking if you don’t look at me.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has downloaded:

When someone asks me what my dream job is, it’s just like “I don’t know dude, I don’t dream about jobs”

Someone from 🇪🇷 has viewed:

I hope the world needs to be saved from the apocalypse with video game skills so my teen’s entire life won’t have been a complete waste.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has bookmarked:

The worst part about going to work is the part where you have to go to work.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has viewed:

Was in a bookshop and asked a worker if he could recommend books to me. He said, ‘Sure, they’re great.’

Someone from 🇬🇹 has copied:

Spell your crush’s name backwards, mine is yenom.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

21 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,290

Funny Quotes Topics

17,410

Funny Quotes Images

15,290

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,670

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on WeChat:

If oats can be milk, you can be whatever you want.

Just shared via YouTube:

I won’t be accepting any parcels for the neighbors in December this year. Last year it was all junk.

Live now on Twitch:

Flirting is easy until it’s someone you actually like.

Breaking via Twitch:

You’re in his DMs, I’m outside his window with a JBL speaker streaming Taylor Swift.

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

I replaced my old flat pillow that hurt my neck with a new fat fluffy pillow that hurts my neck.

Live now on Discord:

Welcome to my very loose interpretation of ‘functioning adult’.

Making waves on Twitch:

“This is a great weekend to clean out the garage,” according to my wife and other people who won’t be cleaning the garage.

Trending via TikTok:

My body looks like I have a great personality.

Trending via Slack:

You truly don’t realize how young 20 is until you’re not 20 anymore.

Just landed via Snapchat:

This salad tastes like I’d rather be fat.

I get shy when my man stares at me for too long because what if he’s realizing I’m actually a lil ugly.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Me: *trying to look cute* 😘

My man: *staring intensifies* 😳

Inner me: *panicking* 😬

Reality check: *It's the love gaze or the 'did I leave the stove on?' gaze?* 🤔😂"

humor, i, insecurity, man, me, relationship, self-esteem, shy, stare, ugly

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Free will: where you get to choose your own adventure … and regret it.

0

2 months ago

adventure, choice, choose, decision, decision making, free, free will, humor, irony, making, own, regret, where
Some people’s high horses are actually donkeys.

0

2 months ago

actually, arrogance, donkey, high, high horse, horse, horses, humility, humor, humor quote, sarcasm, satire
I wish I loved exercising as much as I love not exercising.

0

2 months ago

exercise, exercising, fitness, humor, i, laziness, love, much, not exercising, wish
I think my dog always follows me to the bathroom because I always follow him outside and he thinks that’s the way it works.

0

2 months ago

bathroom, dog, follow, humor, loyalty, misunderstanding, outside, pet, relationship
I am not a vegetarian because I love animals; I am a vegetarian because I hate plants.

0

2 months ago

am, animals, hate, humor, i, irony, love, plant, plants, vegetarian
If I ask “What’s your zodiac sign?” it’s either because we’re vibing or you’re getting on my nerves.

0

2 months ago

ask, astrology, dating, getting, humor, i, interaction, nerf, sign, social, social interaction, vibe, zodiac, zodiac sign

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

83 shares on Discord this month:

My problem areas are my upper arms and earth.

95 shares on Messenger this month:

I would cry but my makeup is too expensive.

60 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I read somewhere on the internet that 87% of what you read on the internet isn’t true, and I believe it.

13 shares on TikTok this month:

Are you coming to the party? There will be noise and lights but I found a corner for us to hide.

57 shares on LinkedIn this month:

The people who are $30 trillion in debt are giving you a credit score.

71 shares on X this month:

I like my mornings to be slow and quiet. I want the day to romance me a bit before it tries to mess me up.

24 shares on Threads this month:

I was so locked in, to the point where we were tongue-kissing with morning breath.

25 shares on Slack this month:

Probably the most humiliating thing that can happen when you die is that you come back as a fitted-sheet ghost.

56 shares on YouTube this month:

Mission Impossible theme song plays in my head when I’m trying to remember a password.

70 shares on WeChat this month:

I hope nobody sees me eating by myself and feels sorry for me. I’m having the time of my life.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇳 has bookmarked:

‘Sex with your ex’ is so stupid. If you want to dwell on the past, you can just buy a history book.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has copied:

I’m rearranging the kitchen which is devastating for my husband because now suddenly he remembers where everything used to be.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has bookmarked:

I wish I had a pair of skinny genes.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has bookmarked:

The only men you can trust is ramen.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has viewed:

Taylor Swift should write a song about when your sleeves keep rolling down every time you wash the dishes.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has downloaded:

The best part about Smarties is pouring them into an empty prescription bottle and shaking them all into my mouth while waiting in line.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has bookmarked:

Maturity is when you realize money can actually buy happiness.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has shared:

Bob was hungry. He ripped open a new bag of tortillas only to discover a convenient, resealable opening on the other end.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has viewed:

I’m so sick of TV shows and movies where there are no likable characters. I don’t need to spend an hour with people I hate, I already have my life.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has copied:

This is not an empty room, this is a very successful anti-party.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Threads:

If she wants the moon, you get her the moon.

Live now on Snapchat:

I’m so jealous of people who know how to shut up. I shut up, and subtitles come out my face.

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

I wish people would stop holding back and use social media to tell us how they really feel.

Seen just now on X:

Karma not moving fast enough for me. I would hate to handle it myself, Lord.

Spotted on Slack:

No one declines an incoming call faster than a 3-year-old watching YouTube.

Live now on Slack:

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Nobody at this train station knows that there’s a hole in my sock.

Just shared via Facebook:

Whenever a study shows excessive screen time causes brain damage I’m like “yeah, me know”.

Broadcasted on X:

Don’t know how to explain this, but “hot honey” is the pickleball of condiments (derogatory).

Shared recently on Facebook:

Told my girl I’m tired of her dramas and she bought me an energy drink.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I get shy when my man stares at me for too long because what if he’s realizing I’m actually a lil ugly.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Free will: where you get to choose your own adventure … and regret it.

Some people’s high horses are actually donkeys.

I wish I loved exercising as much as I love not exercising.

I think my dog always follows me to the bathroom because I always follow him outside and he thinks that’s the way it works.

I am not a vegetarian because I love animals; I am a vegetarian because I hate plants.

If I ask “What’s your zodiac sign?” it’s either because we’re vibing or you’re getting on my nerves.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨