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Oh, the struggles of method acting without a script to follow 🎭🍔 It's a tough gig being a non-actor in the lead role of your own life's drama! Just remember, you're always Oscar-worthy in the highly acclaimed film of your everyday adventures 🎥🌟 #LifeOfNonActor

20, actor, comedy, fitness, gain, hate, i, irony, pounds, realize, role

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

About four minutes into my run, I’ve decided I want to work on my personality instead.

1 month ago
exercise, fitness, four, humor, i, minutes, motivation, personality, procrastination, run, running, self-improvement, want, work
Any time I have ever uttered the phrase “no worries” I have been lying. There are many worries.

1 month ago
ever, honesty, humor, i, irony, lie, lying, phrase, stress, time, worry
A little mischievousness is good for the soul.

4 months ago
fun, good, humor, little, mischievousness, personality, playful, soul
You can tell you’re getting old when the barber spends less time on the top of your head and more time on your ears.

1 month ago
age-related, aging, barber, ears, getting, grooming, hair, head, humor, joke, less, old, tell, time, top
Due to inflation and tariffs, my love now costs a thing.

1 month ago
cost, costs, due, economics, humor, inflation, love, relationship, tariffs, thing
Going out for two days in a row should really be considered an extreme sport.

1 month ago
activity, days, exhaustion, extreme, extreme sport, going, going out, humor, life, row, should, social, social life, sport, weekend

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Someone from 🇧🇿 has copied:

What I lack in moves on the dance floor, I more than make up for in dancing around a conversation.

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The bad news is there was a lot of turbulence on my flight this morning. The good news is my phone counted it as steps.

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Bedrotting is so nice. Just lying in bed, using your phone comfortably.

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Keep your temper. Nobody else wants it.

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In the 80s, if you woke up feeling thirsty, you could drink some of your waterbed.

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December. A desperate celebration of an end.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has viewed:

I’m already spoiled… please don’t come into my life trying to unspoil me.

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

I taught my kids about democracy tonight by having them vote on which movie to watch and pizza to order. I then picked the movie and pizza because I’m the one with the money.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

You are born, you lie about how you are and then you die.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

I’m rearranging the kitchen which is devastating for my husband because now suddenly he remembers where everything used to be.

Going viral on Instagram:

I might not put the sparkle in your eyes, but I’ll definitely put the “WTF” wrinkles in your forehead.

Going viral on TikTok:

If Kanye got hacked, no one would even know.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

You ever met someone so dumb you gotta take a deep breath before responding to them?

Just landed via Twitch:

Welcome to your 50s… you can now fall asleep sitting up on the couch at any given moment.

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I hate it when I gain 20 pounds for a role and then realize I’m not an actor.

About four minutes into my run, I’ve decided I want to work on my personality instead.

Any time I have ever uttered the phrase “no worries” I have been lying. There are many worries.

A little mischievousness is good for the soul.

Due to inflation and tariffs, my love now costs a thing.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

A good man is hard to find, but a babysitter for Friday night is harder.

I have almost 100,000 miles on my office chair. So I got that going for me.

I secretly want you to say no when I offer you some of my cake.

Let the example of my fluke success guide nearly all of you to crushing disappointment.

I nearly broke my toe because the coffee table didn’t look where it was going.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Can you imagine being a 7th grade girl and being able to see your crush’s bedroom during Zoom math class.

Seems like the ‘how to use a fire extinguisher’ video on YouTube shouldn’t have a 30-second ad before it.

“What do you do for a living?” I do my best.

A girl can casually just say something, and you already know you’re not going to date or marry her.

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Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Amazon’s checkout needs a breathalyzer feature which cancels your order if you’ve been clearly drunk-shopping.

I think you are suffering from a lack of vitamin ME.

Me: I’ve always wanted to stare at someone from across the street then disappear when a bus passes. Interviewer: I meant more like “professional goals”.

No we can’t hangout, you’ll end up falling in love with me and I don’t have time for that.

I successfully avoided the red-eye flight and got the much milder pink eye flight.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

I’m bringing back “holy moly” and nobody can stop me.

Violence is not the answer, unless you’re a gaggle of children instructed to break into a piñata.

Can someone write me a note to get out of being a responsible adult?

I’m really getting tired of being a responsible adult.

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I hate it when I gain 20 pounds for a role and then realize I’m not an actor.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

About four minutes into my run, I’ve decided I want to work on my personality instead.

Any time I have ever uttered the phrase “no worries” I have been lying. There are many worries.

A little mischievousness is good for the soul.

You can tell you’re getting old when the barber spends less time on the top of your head and more time on your ears.

Due to inflation and tariffs, my love now costs a thing.

Going out for two days in a row should really be considered an extreme sport.

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Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

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