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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇭 has shared:

So, you’re telling me I’m just supposed to get up every day and keep living like this? Seems like a scam to me.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has downloaded:

I love icebreakers. They really give me time to anxiously reflect on what the most fun fact about me is, while I don’t listen to anyone else at all.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has copied:

I’m best man at my buddy’s second wedding. Is it appropriate to open my dinner speech with “Welcome back everyone”?

Someone from 🇲🇾 has viewed:

Everyone talks about climate change, but no one has the courage to sacrifice a virgin to appease the gods.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has viewed:

Who’s your favorite horror director? Mine’s God.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has viewed:

Sorry, I’m late. I was trying to convince a bathroom hand dryer that I exist.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has shared:

America’s national anthem should be changed to Welcome to the Jungle.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has viewed:

I love sleeping so much that it is the first thing I think about when I wake up.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has downloaded:

Stopping a complete stranger on the street and saying, “Let’s end this little charade.”

Someone from 🇰🇿 has shared:

We live in a cosmic tornado, but sure, let’s all get jobs.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

240 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,509

Funny Quotes Topics

17,577

Funny Quotes Images

15,509

Jan 7, 2026

3,604

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Discord:

I’m no Hobbit, but I do often walk blindly into some rather dodgy situations.

Just shared via Messenger:

Am I the only one who prays about everything? Like, ‘God, please help me find where I dropped my AirPods.’

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

And then I thought to myself, “What’s the point of cleaning if my family is going to keep living here?”

Shared recently on Messenger:

“Don’t take this the wrong way!” Translation: Prepare for insult.

Trending via X:

Skinny people are easier to get blown around by storms. These donuts are for my safety.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Now if you’ll excuse me, today’s bad decisions aren’t going to make themselves.

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

People who play golf don’t concern me nearly as much as the people who watch it.

Freshly posted on Discord:

We need a slur for people that use AI.

Making waves on Instagram:

There are so many people going to hell. I’m thinking of investing in some property there.

Just shared via X:

I’ve been saying for years that cigs are better for you than vapes, and the vindication I feel now is just orgasmic.

I have lots of hidden talents. The problem is, even I can’t find them.

2 months ago

0

I have lots of hidden talents. The problem is, even I can’t find them.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Trying to uncover my hidden talents is like playing hide and seek with my own self. 🕵️‍♀️🎭 Maybe they're just really good at hiding, or maybe I need a treasure map to find them! 🗺️😂 Who knew I could be so mysterious even to myself! 🤷‍♂️🔍"

hidden, hidden talent, humor, i, irony, joke, problem, self-deprecation, talent

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Accidentally wore a blue shirt to Walmart and now I’m in the stockroom showing Sue how to use the forklift.

0

2 months ago

accident, accidentally, blue, blue shirt, forklift, funny situation, job, shirt, situation, stockroom, Sue, unexpected, unexpected job, Walmart
Totally forgot my demands now that I’ve strapped this ticking bomb to my chest.

0

5 days ago

anxiety, bomb, chest, demand, forgot, humor, panic, strapped, stress, ticking, ticking bomb
Unpopular opinion: we really grew up in the best era to be a kid, and the worst era to be an adult.

0

2 months ago

adult, best, best era, childhood, era, growing, growing up, kid, opinion, unpopular, unpopular opinion, worst, worst era
Bands are always like “here’s another song”. Yeah, no shit, that’s pretty much all you do.

0

2 months ago

always, another, band, entertainment, humor, much, music, performance, pretty, sarcasm, shit, song
The future is buffering.

0

2 months ago

buffering, future, humor, joke, procrastination, technology
If my neighbors keep fighting like this, I might need to cancel some of my streaming services.

0

2 months ago

cancel, distraction, entertainment, fight, fighting, i, keep, need, neighbor, neighbors, noise, service, services, streaming, streaming service

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

14 shares on WhatsApp this month:

It’s weird how the UFO’s always seem to crash in places that only the government and military have access to.

63 shares on WeChat this month:

I be butt naked, texting people, and they’ll never know.

36 shares on Pinterest this month:

I hate having a body, it’s so high maintenance. Shower this, eat that, drink this, sleep that, it’s all very stupid.

24 shares on Instagram this month:

Being flirted with while you’re on the clock feels like a hostage situation.

29 shares on WeChat this month:

You can make friends in a doctor’s waiting room as long as you have something broken and not something coughing.

65 shares on Reddit this month:

It’s almost time to switch from my everyday anxiety to my fancy Christmas anxiety.

29 shares on Threads this month:

Just gonna drink light beers today, because I don’t wanna get drunk but I do enjoy peeing 30 times.

74 shares on Twitch this month:

Everything will kill you so pick something fun.

80 shares on X this month:

My favorite recipe is the one where I pick up the phone and order food.

29 shares on Pinterest this month:

I hope you celebrate your birthday like your birth – naked and screaming.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Next time someone says “I’m a hugger” and tries to hug me, I’m gonna say “I’m a puncher” and see how it goes.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Hey (with the intention of making you forget everyone who came before me).

10 folks are currently checking 👀

You ever feel awkward in Target, cause you know you belong at Walmart.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

I often message people with the weird idea that they’ll message me back.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

There are many people who don’t like me and I am one of them.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

My mouth moves faster than my survival instincts.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

It sucks when a woman realizes that her knight in shining armor was actually just a moron wrapped in tinfoil.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

In the baking aisle, booing everyone buying imitation vanilla extract.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Duolingo should have an “I’m going on holiday to this place very soon” setting so it teaches you “can I have the bill” and so on instead of “the cow boils an egg”.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Sorry boys, but I’ve already got my eyes on a guy who’s not interested.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

240 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,509

Funny Quotes Topics

17,577

Funny Quotes Images

15,509

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,529

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇲 has bookmarked:

Hardly a day goes by without me being reminded that an academic degree has nothing to do with intelligence.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has copied:

Life is just a series of obstacles preventing you from reading your book.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has bookmarked:

Rule #1 for family reunions: Always bring your own car so you can take off whenever you want.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has viewed:

If you think nobody cares about you, try missing a couple of payments.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has copied:

You’re 25, stressing like you’re 40, because you want to be rich before 30, am I right?

Someone from 🇱🇸 has shared:

If a company’s hiring sign says, “Come grow with us,” you’re about to do the work of 3-5 people.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has copied:

If they don’t look at you like you’re magic, disappear like Houdini.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has downloaded:

You get to a certain age and realize stretching is non-negotiable.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has shared:

No kids at my wedding. Gonna Uber the flower girl home when she’s done.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has bookmarked:

A Jackie Chan fight scene where he’s in an IKEA warehouse and he fights off dudes with furniture pieces, but by the end he’s accidentally assembled it all into a complete Malm bedroom set.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Reddit:

Apparently, stress balls are not supposed to be thrown at people who are stressing you out.

Spotted on Messenger:

Dance like China isn’t watching.

Shared recently on Slack:

This generation of men makes celibacy so easy for women.

Going viral on Facebook:

Divorcing my wife to focus on my porn addiction.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Memes are the most information-dense form of communication.

Shared recently on Slack:

Being an adult is crazy. Because what the hell is going on?

Trending via X:

If David Bowie taught us anything, it’s that being a little weird is better than being forgettable.

Just shared via Threads:

New email opener just dropped: “I am interested in bothering you!”

Shared recently on Threads:

Job interviewer: “Where do you see yourself in 5 years’ time?” Me: “My greatest strength is that I’m a good listener.”

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

I get it, funds… I, too, am insufficient.

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