One of my biggest talents is taking hundreds of screenshots that I swear I’ll need, but I never look at them again.

One of my biggest talents is taking hundreds of screenshots that I swear I’ll need, but I never look at them again.

Commentary:
“Skill level: Expert Screenshot Saver 📸📸 Expert Screenshot Ignorer 🙈💻 Who needs memories when you have GBs of forgotten screenshots, right? 😂 #ScreenshotQueen#DigitalPackrat”

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New funny quotes β†’

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Trending Funny Quotes πŸ‘‡

  • The one thing I think most parents need to realize is, there’s absolutely no secrets that your child doesn’t share about you in the classroom.

    Commentary:
    Oh, the classroom – where parents’ secrets go to get a PhD in “public knowledge”! 🤭📚 Little do most parents know that their kids are the ultimate informants in the school gossip network. 🕵️‍♂️📝 It’s like having a tiny espionage agent infiltrating your personal space! 😅🔍 #ParentalSecretsExposé

  • Math is like Chinese to me.

    Commentary:
    “Ah, math can indeed feel like deciphering ancient Chinese scrolls at times! 🧮🈶 Don’t worry, with a little practice and perseverance, you’ll be speaking the language of numbers fluently in no time! 🤓📚 #MathIsMandarin”

  • Once I shot a man with a paintball gun, just to watch him dye.

    Commentary:
    “Looks like someone took ‘colorful’ revenge to a whole new level! 🎨💥 Just remember, revenge is a dish best served… in vibrant shades! 😜🌈”

  • If a company’s hiring sign says, β€œCome grow with us,” you’re about to do the job of 3-5 people.

    Commentary:
    “Reading between the lines of a ‘Come grow with us’ sign: Get ready to sprout some extra arms and legs, because you’re in for a multi-tasking marathon! 🌱💼🏃‍♂️ #TeamOfOne”

  • Wrapping gifts on the floor after 50: 1% holiday spirit, 99% figuring out how to stand up without calling for help.

    Commentary:
    “Who knew that mastering the art of gift wrapping would come with a fitness challenge? 🎁💪 Channeling our inner contortionist this holiday season! 😂 #giftwrappinggoals”

  • When I’m president, I will add an additional hour between 6 and 7pm.

    Commentary:
    “Breaking News: Future president plans to bend time! 🌀⏳ Say goodbye to rush hour traffic and hello to ‘Happy Hour, Part 2’! 🍸🎉 Who needs a TARDIS when we’ve got a president with time-bending powers? ⏰🇺🇸 #PresidentialPriorities”