I hope “be the light you want to see in the world” doesn’t refer to Molotov Cocktails.

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The lion doesn’t concern himself with credit card debt.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has downloaded:

Before I start seeing a psychiatrist, does anyone like me crazy?

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I would go out more if there weren’t any humans out there.

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Wish I could get paid just for being a sweetheart.

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I love it when my dog suddenly gets up and goes to another part of the house. Did you just remember you left the stove on or something?

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If McDonald’s sold hot dogs, would you be able to, with a straight face, order a McWiener and tell them to supersize it?

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The main difference between my dog and my kid is my dog responds to her name being called.

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These aliens are taking forever.

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Just rolled over for a cuddle.. forgot I’m single… fell off the bed.

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Where do we acquire the ducks that we’re supposed to be putting in a row?