Trendy Funny Quotes

  • The universe consists of 5% protons, 5% neutrons, 5% electrons, and 85% morons.
  • I’m slowly becoming an adult. Please make it stop.
  • The older I get, the more I treat birthdays like one-night stands and just pretend they didn’t happen.
  • I hope Instagram is still active during the apocalypse, so the zombies can post pics of whose brains they’re currently eating.
  • I’m naturally funny because my life is a joke.
  • Be a pineapple: stand tall, wear a crown, and be sweet on the inside.