75 funny found quotes - Wordgag

I’ve never found a windshield wiper setting that truly satisfied me.

Jun 2, 2026Jun 2, 2026

I miss the way I viewed the world before I found out too much about it.

May 30, 2026

I found out my husband was cheating on me at a Linkin Park concert. We tried so hard and got so far, but in the end, it didn’t even matter.

May 30, 2026

I found out my wife was cheating on me at a Red Hot Chili Peppers concert, and I don’t ever wanna feel like I did that day.

May 30, 2026

I was about to organise my closet, but I then I found what I was looking for.

May 30, 2026

I just found out I have to go on dates to get a boyfriend. I’m sick to my stomach.

May 29, 2026

I wonder how biology explains that pain in your chest you get when you found out your partner cheated on you.

May 29, 2026

No open job postings for “Warrior Poet” found in your area. Please try another search.

May 29, 2026

Just found out my 84-year-old neighbour is on his own tomorrow, so I’ve just been over to collect his spare chairs to borrow.

May 29, 2026

I realized Americans were dramatics the day I found out 200 lb is just 90 kg.

May 29, 2026

Not to brag, but I drove and found a place I was looking for without turning down my music today.

May 28, 2026

I’ve never found a “Remember Me” checkbox that works. Nothing remembers me.

May 28, 2026

I told a joke to my boss, and he must have found it really funny because now I get to tell it to HR.

May 28, 2026

Can you imagine how awkward it would be if your pet went on your phone and found the 1,000 pictures you have of them sleeping.

May 28, 2026

Yesterday, thieves broke into my home. They searched everywhere and found nothing. They beat me up, telling me to work harder.

May 28, 2026

Just found out it don’t matter how early I go to bed, I just don’t wanna go to work.

May 28, 2026

Processed food was literally designed for you to eat. Organic is just some crap they found on the ground somewhere.

May 27, 2026

Maybe dogs are smarter than us because they found a way to get fed and housed without having to go to college and get a job.

May 27, 2026

Sorry, I’m late. I found my old CD collection.

May 27, 2026

Just found out my asexual friend was only using me for my companionship.

May 27, 2026

I found a box of VHS tapes. I’m a bit nervous about the one that has the label torn off.

May 27, 2026

I can’t think of a single email that has ever found me well.

May 27, 2026

Just found out about confirmation bias, and now every article I read totally proves I was right to be worried about it.

May 26, 2026

Maybe the reason you haven’t found your soulmate is because you don’t have a soul.

May 26, 2026

Are you coming to the party? There will be noise and lights but I found a corner for us to hide.

May 26, 2026

Sex is cool, but have you ever found an academic article that fits your research topic perfectly and supports all of your claims?

May 26, 2026

My entire life changed once I found out that a crush is just a lack of information.

May 26, 2026

I’ve found that the easiest way to do burpees is to just not do burpees. No pain, no pain.

May 26, 2026

I just found out it takes 5 sheep to make one wool sweater. I didn’t even know they knew how to knit.

May 26, 2026

I found out why my computer keeps freezing. Apparently, I’ve got too many windows open.

May 25, 2026

People found guilty of not using punctuation deserve the longest sentence possible.

May 25, 2026

When I was a kid my parents moved a lot, but I always found them.

May 25, 2026

Even on the coldest of days, there’s such peace found in the warm embrace of a hot pizza.

May 25, 2026

I don’t want to brag but I found a recipe online, and then within three weeks not only made the recipe, but closed the tab on my browser.

May 25, 2026

If I found E.T., I would’ve developed his jump shot.

May 24, 2026

I ordered a new umbrella on Amazon and had it delivered straight to the lost and found office to maximize efficiency.

May 24, 2026

Doesn’t matter, Your Honor! I, for one, found it very funny.

May 24, 2026

Tidying up usually ends up with you sitting somewhere and playing around with things you found while tidying up.

May 24, 2026

“Hope this email finds you doing well!” The email found me, therefore I am unwell.

May 24, 2026

If I’m ever found dead in the woods, it’s probably because I was trying to pet a bear.

May 24, 2026