74 funny found quotes - Wordgag

I ordered a new umbrella on Amazon and had it delivered straight to the lost and found office to maximize efficiency.

May 24, 2026

Doesn’t matter, Your Honor! I, for one, found it very funny.

May 24, 2026

Tidying up usually ends up with you sitting somewhere and playing around with things you found while tidying up.

May 24, 2026

“Hope this email finds you doing well!” The email found me, therefore I am unwell.

May 24, 2026

If I’m ever found dead in the woods, it’s probably because I was trying to pet a bear.

May 24, 2026

I’ve finally found a book that speaks to me. I believe it’s called an “audiobook”.

May 23, 2026

Ants can be found on every continent except Antarctica, which is weird considering their name.

May 23, 2026

I wonder if my date ever found her way out of that corn maze.

May 23, 2026

There’s no way the Scooby Doo gang never found a dead body.

May 23, 2026

My life is ruined. I wish to live no more. Never mind, I found the remote.

May 23, 2026

I took a pole and found that 100% of people in the tent were angry.

May 23, 2026

Found a picture of me sitting on Santa’s lap. Hard to believe it’s been a whole year.

May 23, 2026

When people talk about enriching their lives, I assume they’ve found a way to add more cheese.

May 23, 2026

I was having a great Friday until I found out it was Thursday.

May 23, 2026

I bet the kids in Mrs. Doubtfire were surprised when found out their nanny was famous actor Robin Williams the whole time.

May 22, 2026

I’ve found God. It’s my turn to hide now.

May 22, 2026

The thing I’ve always found tricky about money is knowing how much I should have.

May 22, 2026

I won’t rest until a cure for insomnia is found.

May 22, 2026

Most people who have found themselves are amazed to discover that there is nothing there at all.

May 22, 2026

Love it when you say or do some common sense thing and the other person has “file not found” written all over their face.

May 22, 2026

I’ve finally found out what chronology is. And it’s about time.

May 22, 2026

Hey, we’re calling off the search party. We found a different guy out there we like more.

May 22, 2026

You’re not going to believe this, but I was doing really well, and then your email found me.

May 21, 2026

Remember when you were a kid, you slept on the couch and without saying anything you found yourself in your bed. Now you sleep in your bed and if you say anything, you end up on the couch.

May 21, 2026

I’ve just found my wide pants again. They weren’t gone at all, they’re just my tight pants now.

May 21, 2026

My co-workers found out when my birthday is so now I need to find a new job.

May 21, 2026

I have found that there is usually a lot of day left at the end of my patience.

May 21, 2026

A woman’s G-spot can be found at the end of the word shopping.

May 21, 2026

Got my mind on my money and my money is nowhere to be found.

May 20, 2026

I was very disappointed when I found out drinking alcohol doesn’t actually kill brain cells, I was hoping to join a political party one day.

May 20, 2026

I found my first grey pubic hair today, but I didn’t freak out; unlike everyone else in the Zoom meeting.

May 20, 2026

I found there was only one way to look thin: hang out with fat people.

May 20, 2026

How old were you when you found out people in porn aren’t actually in love?

May 20, 2026

My apologies to the Goodreads reviewer who found my novel about vampires on a submarine, “unrealistic.”

May 19, 2026

It’s important to fuel your body with essential nutrients, which can be found in cookies, chips, and candy.

May 19, 2026

Just found out that rock bottom has a basement.

May 19, 2026

I see from the back of your car that you have found Jesus, but not your turn signal.

May 19, 2026

This call, should’ve been a message in a bottle I never found.

May 19, 2026

Having a horse run off on you in medieval times must have been crazy. Imagine if your car got scared and ran away, and you found it a day later by itself at a gas station.

May 19, 2026

Bro, you gotta try this high-protein Caesar salad, cold brew, air fryer, overnight oats recipe I found on Instagram.

May 19, 2026