Trendy Funny Quotes

  • At what age do people actually meet up to play bingo? I’m ready.
  • My boss told me “It’s not rocket science.” Yeah, almost everything that exists is not rocket science.
  • And for my next trick, I will appear to know what I’m doing.
  • Thunder is fake. It doesn’t even sync up properly with lightning. There’s some guy who waits till he sees lightning and then he presses the thunder button.
  • My parents often told me I would lose my own head if it wasn’t screwed on and now that I’m an adult, I want to know what tools I need to have it screwed off.
  • You think you’re your own worst critic? Just wait till you have kids.