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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇻🇳 has downloaded:

“Can’t wait till I get older” was the dumbest thing I ever said.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has shared:

They should make a movie that’s good the whole way through.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has bookmarked:

If anything I post makes you mad, just know that it pleases me.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has downloaded:

My wife asked me to put ketchup on the shopping list that I was making, and now, I can’t read anything.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has shared:

Men be like “I would do anything for you,” and then do nothing.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has shared:

I love cute tiny purses, but I’m sad to say I can never be a cute tiny purse girl. I need to haul my hoard of objects everywhere I go, because what if….

Someone from 🇨🇱 has viewed:

The world would be a better place if mosquitoes sucked fat instead of blood.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has bookmarked:

Cheers erupt as woman cuts into perfectly ripe avocado.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has downloaded:

I do not like FaceTime unless we’re best friends or I’m in love with you.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has viewed:

Breakfast is the most important beer of the day.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,665

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on WhatsApp:

Not to be a nerd, but a well-placed semicolon is hot as hell.

Spotted on Instagram:

The Internet is fun because you can post about banana bread and somehow end up in a fight.

Spotted on Twitch:

Maybe aliens don’t visit us because they’re all women and they want us to make the first move.

Just shared via Reddit:

Interesting people are my favorite endangered species.

Just shared via TikTok:

Not being able to teleport is continuing to be a huge inconvenience for me.

Just landed via Slack:

When you want to feel at your thinnest, walk through Walmart at any time of day.

Shared recently on Discord:

Phone dry, no food in the house, I keep dying in my game. I’m such a loser.

Just shared via Instagram:

I hope this 17th text in a row with no response finds you well.

Going viral on Messenger:

Sperm me would be swimming in the other direction.

Shared recently on Discord:

Whatever you do today, do it with the confidence of a 4-year old wearing a Batman cape.

I suppose the supreme discipline for ninjas is sneaking up with flip flops.

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I suppose the supreme discipline for ninjas is sneaking up with flip flops.
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Commentary:
Oh, the sound of silence amplified by flip flops – the ultimate paradox for ninjas! 🤫👣 Imagine a stealthy assassin trying to sneak up on you with the rhythmic clack-clack-clack of flip flops. 🙊👡 Maybe they're training for the "Ninja Summer Edition"! 🔥😂

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

85 shares on Discord this month:

I hope this email keeps you awake at night.

28 shares on Telegram this month:

No, I am not refreshed from my long weekend. I was reminded that I am not meant to work, but I am trapped in The Machine.

64 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Prison pen pal doesn’t want us to write each other anymore. Finds my life too depressing.

53 shares on Snapchat this month:

I’m so glad I cleaned the house so the kids have a clean canvas to drop their stuff everywhere.

45 shares on LinkedIn this month:

During arguments with idiots, I wish I could throw a flash bang and disappear.

24 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I need a leaf blower, but for people.

74 shares on TikTok this month:

Not to brag, but my children already knew everything I told them today.

74 shares on Facebook this month:

Captain America taught me that I just need to take performance enhancing drugs to be loved by everyone.

87 shares on Facebook this month:

Technically mixed martial arts can include tickle fighting.

42 shares on Twitch this month:

The real reason for global warming is that today’s young people are nowhere near as cool as we were back then.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

15 folks are currently checking 👀

I’d rather throw everything I own in the trash than try to deal with people on Facebook Marketplace.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

I used to think money is everything. I still think money is everything.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

I want to become so financially stable that God uses my pockets to bless others.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Autocorrect has become our worst enema.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

I always need to pee, but it’s just because my heart is so big it pushes on my bladder.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

I’ll rewind a movie, get on my phone, and miss the same part.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Can’t think of a single time the MGM lion advanced the plot of the movie in any way. Just needless jump scare.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

The reason I stay up late is because I don’t want my free time to end, and tomorrow to start.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

I wish it were social acceptable to say “I don’t care” and walk away mid conversation when you’re bored.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

I made a graph showing my past relationships. It has an ex axis and a why axis.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,253

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇯 has viewed:

I love putting on warm underwear fresh out of the dryer. Plus, it’s fun to look around the laundromat and guess who they belong to.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has copied:

Every morning I announce that Im going for a jog, but then I don’t go. It’s a running gag.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has viewed:

Totally forgot my demands now that I’ve strapped this ticking bomb to my chest.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has copied:

You’re all badass until that dust bunny in the corner is a real spider.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has downloaded:

I need a Netflix show called: “Background noise while you scroll on your phone.”

Someone from 🇭🇺 has shared:

What was the name of the boat in Titanic?

Someone from 🇹🇻 has viewed:

I hate when I go to the kitchen looking for food, and all I find is ingredients.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has copied:

This cop is parked illegally behind me with his lights on. I’m going to say something.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has shared:

I bet doom scroll meant something way cooler in the middle ages.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has viewed:

Those security guards at the Samsung store are Guardians of the Galaxy.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Discord:

I’m getting to the age where it’s rude to pull out a bottle of ibuprofen if I don’t have enough for everyone.

Shared recently on Telegram:

I hope you catch the bouquet at my funeral.

Just landed via WeChat:

Used dark mode so much that I became physically repulsed when I see a white screen.

Breaking via Twitch:

Born to be a hater but forced to understand where you’re coming from.

Breaking via Instagram:

If i had $5 for every time I said up yours to someone, my butler would be saying it for me.

Shared recently on YouTube:

The Princess and the Pea, except it’s a rogue hair on the inside of my shirt driving me crazy all day.

Just landed via Slack:

I want a pet eagle that’s trained to steal people’s sandwiches for me.

Just shared via Snapchat:

Schedule your appointment early in the month before your dentist starts fretting about their next boat payment.

Going bananas on X:

Spent most of the day making sure the couch still works. So far so good.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

When I finally snap it’ll be because I had to type my email address in on the TV.

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