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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇳 has bookmarked:

The difference between us is that people can peck you and I’m impeccable.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has copied:

One of the top features of squirrels, for me, has got to be that squirreliness.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has viewed:

You seem really unhinged, we should grab coffee sometime.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has viewed:

When it gets past my bedtime, I get so scared.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has shared:

My favorite Christmas Eve tradition is the one where I tell my kids we have to get the house spotless, or Santa won’t come.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has bookmarked:

Making eye contact with strangers on the sidewalk and saying “it’s crazy that they just let me walk around, haha”.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has shared:

Of course your crush is going to leave their spouse for you. That’s how delusions work.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has bookmarked:

Damaged inside, but outside we keep it gangsta.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has downloaded:

Why did they call it an Amazon wishlist and not an ‘Oughttobuyography’.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has bookmarked:

Roses are red, my name is not Dave, this makes no sense, microwave.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

215 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,484

Funny Quotes Topics

17,554

Funny Quotes Images

15,484

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,249

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Facebook:

My biggest sexual fantasy is someone throwing a million dollars on my naked body and then leaving me alone.

Going viral on Pinterest:

There is too much happening for mid-December. Where are the canceled meetings? Why are we not circling back next year?

Seen just now on X:

I have never seen an alcohol company using a drunk person for any advertising, are they ashamed of their customers?

Just shared via LinkedIn:

I’m not superstitious because it brings bad luck.

Going bananas on TikTok:

None of the parenting books say what to do when your kids start calling you ‘Bruh.’

Just landed via Facebook:

Always stay crazy. Otherwise you’ll go crazy.

Spotted on Pinterest:

Behind every great tweet is a person rolling their eyes.

Shared recently on Reddit:

Happiness is when you really have nothing to do with people you want absolutely nothing to do with.

Live now on Pinterest:

In a parallel universe, there’s a happy me.

Broadcasted on Instagram:

Words I heard most when I ran errands with my dad: “Wait in the truck.”

I wanna be crazy rich. I’m already crazy, so I’m half way there.

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I wanna be crazy rich. I’m already crazy, so I’m half way there.
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Commentary:
Well, they say half the battle is admitting it, so you're off to a good start! Just remember, being "crazy rich" might sound like a wild ride, but don't forget to pack your sanity along for the journey. Who knows, maybe you'll end up with a fortune cookie that says, "Insanity is the key to riches… and also, don't forget to tip your waiter."

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

48 shares on Discord this month:

A dating app to meet other people with low IQ called OK Stupid.

29 shares on YouTube this month:

Women in movies look so beautiful when they sleep. Meanwhile, I’m tossing and turning all night like a forgotten 7-Eleven hot dog.

82 shares on Instagram this month:

An electric car is just another electric chair.

60 shares on WeChat this month:

Tiime isn’t on my side, it’s on my face, wrinkling my forehead.

100 shares on TikTok this month:

I don’t want to brag but I walked into a room and remembered why I walked in.

76 shares on Facebook this month:

The guy in the stall beside doesn’t know he can shut off his camera shutter.

77 shares on WhatsApp this month:

My neighbors were up shouting all night. I could barely hear my bagpipes.

22 shares on Telegram this month:

Donuts have holes in them, just like acoustic guitars, but that’s pretty much where the similarities end.

97 shares on Telegram this month:

You got a better chance getting chased by a dog than by me.

55 shares on Slack this month:

Have you ever been sitting around overthinking about overthinking, and then wonder why you’re even thinking that?

Trending Topics 📁

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Hot Jokes 💥

9 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m not always a couch potato. For instance, right now I’m a chair potato, and later I’ll be a bed potato.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Only money has the right to say “you’ll regret losing me”. The rest of you calm down.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

I heard time is money, so I quit my job. Now I have lots of time!

7 folks are currently checking 👀

In Hell, “Cotton Eye Joe” plays on an eternal loop. The heat and fire are actually pleasant compared to that.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Standing on a scale and thinking: so much wisdom and inner beauty can’t be light.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Maybe if we all sit extremely still, Monday won’t be able to see us.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

I be skipping everyone’s stories but watch mine like 20 times.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s Monday again and I’m about to make it everyone’s problem.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Easiest way to ragebait a finance bro is to start the ‘why can’t we print more money’ conversation.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Not only is it not Friday, it’s not even Thursday.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

215 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,484

Funny Quotes Topics

17,554

Funny Quotes Images

15,484

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,605

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇹 has shared:

Accepting you’re about to throw up, gotta be the worst feeling on God’s green earth.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has copied:

Job hunting has legitimately been the most demoralizing experience of my life. Nothing else will make you realize how little you can actually do.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has shared:

It sucks when you realize it’s only Thursday, until you realize it’s Wednesday.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has downloaded:

I bring a sort of “this isn’t actually urgent” vibe to the workplace that managers don’t like.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has bookmarked:

Amazing if accurate: bleeding money.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has bookmarked:

I could be a morning person, if morning was sometime around noon.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has copied:

You come from dust and you’ll return to dust, so that’s why I never dust. It could be someone I know.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has downloaded:

Absolutely no reason for a single guy to be in a sunflower field. Get out of there, pervert!

Someone from 🇨🇬 has downloaded:

I’ve found that the easiest way to do burpees is to just not do burpees. No pain, no pain.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has shared:

Every job is either 8 hours of getting exposed to cancer-causing chemicals or 8 hours of staring at a Microsoft Excel sheet.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Messenger:

Overheard the most hilarious conversation on my morning commute, then realized it was just me talking to myself in my car.

Shared recently on X:

Using my invisible hula hoop really freaks people out.

Making waves on Slack:

Make every hug more interesting by mysteriously whispering, “the Dark Lord stands at the crossroads!”

Making waves on Instagram:

Welcome to Netflix. We have every movie but the one you actually want to watch.

Shared recently on Telegram:

God forbid a girl uses shopping as her coping mechanism.

Seen just now on X:

With all the fake information out there, I refuse to believe scales or mirrors.

Going bananas on Reddit:

My mom sent me a text message so long I had to refill my Adderall prescription to read it.

Live now on Twitch:

The best way to teach your kids about taxes is by eating 30 percent of their ice-cream.

Trending via Facebook:

Many of you need to put “lighten up” on your resolutions list.

Seen just now on Slack:

People in glass houses shouldn’t throw orgies.

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