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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇫 has viewed:

Everyone wants a goth girlfriend until she starts doing goth things.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has bookmarked:

Probably always gonna be the weirdo that believes in magic.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has downloaded:

Channeling my inner forest ghost: hauntingly fabulous and slightly lost.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has downloaded:

Don’t tell me about Stockholm Syndrome, I woke up at 6 AM on my first day of vacation wondering how things were going at work.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has copied:

I love when toddlers passionately talk to you about absolutely nothing.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has downloaded:

Googling what ASAP means, and having a panic attack.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has viewed:

Why do moths eat sweaters? Have they tried sandwiches or avocados?

Someone from 🇵🇼 has shared:

In university, you can literally tell who had no freedom at home.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has bookmarked:

Good morning, may your coffee be strong and your boss not weird today.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has shared:

I bet before the band got popular, Barenaked Ladies concerts had a lot of pissed off attendees.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,254

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Telegram:

I hate when I get ready too quickly and have to sit on the couch, fully dressed, and wait like an idiot.

Going bananas on Discord:

If you ever see me out in public, just know I don’t want to be there.

Spotted on Threads:

If you think I’m funny, you should hear the voices in my head.

Just landed via Telegram:

“Don’t bring a knife to a gun fight!” Okay, then explain bayonets to me.

Making waves on Threads:

I go to tattoo parlors and trick them into shaving my leg for me, and then leave.

Shared recently on Reddit:

Still can’t believe America has a federal holiday to celebrate the hit movie Independence Day.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

It’s like ten thousand views when all you need is a like.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

By accepting their pardons, the turkeys are admitting guilt.

Seen just now on Facebook:

Just saw a piece of jewelry made in the 80s described as “vintage,” so I’ll be laying down the rest of the day.

Shared recently on Telegram:

I do not support all women. Some of you are very mean for no reason.

If craziness could fly, some people would have their own airport.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"If craziness could fly, some people would need a whole fleet of airports just to contain them! 🛫😜✈️"

airport, craziness, fly, humor, insanity, joke, own, people

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Went to the toilet today without my cell phone. There are 245 tiles.

0

2 months ago

boredom, cell, cell phone, daily, daily life, experience, funny experience, humor, life, observation, phone, tiles, today, toilet
Has anyone noticed what it’s beginning to look a lot like?

0

2 days ago

anyone, beginning, Christmas, holiday, humor, lot, noticed, observation, question, season
38% of being a dad is sitting in a car, looking at your watch, and waiting for everybody else to come out.

0

2 months ago

being, car, dad, else, family, humor, humor quote, looking, parenting, patience, sitting, stereotype, waiting, watch
Sorry I marked myself as safe on Facebook after your PowerPoint presentation.

0

2 months ago

Facebook, humor, i, joke, media, myself, PowerPoint, presentation, safe, sarcasm, social, social media, sorry, work
Got a job rejection, saw the company post the same job again, so I applied again. I decide when we’re done.

0

4 months ago

again, application, company, decide, done, got, humor, i, job, job application, job rejection, persistence, post, rejection, same, sarcasm, saw
Me: I love you more than a flower loves the sun. Him: I love you more than a teenager loves his phone.

0

2 months ago

affection, comparison, flower, humor, i, love, me, phone, relationship, sun, teenager

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

58 shares on Facebook this month:

“Help us improve Instagram!” Nice try, fix your own damn website.

87 shares on Instagram this month:

Why do flat earthers care so much? Like, what if the Earth is flat. What now?

96 shares on Snapchat this month:

Bedrotting is so nice. Just lying in bed, using your phone comfortably.

93 shares on TikTok this month:

Sorry, I’m late. Time isn’t real, and I’m not convinced I am either.

47 shares on Twitch this month:

This call, should’ve been a message in a bottle I never found.

77 shares on X this month:

The part where the music beat is going from your left ear to the right at different intervals.

72 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I hope the world needs to be saved from the apocalypse with video game skills so my teen’s entire life won’t have been a complete waste.

29 shares on Slack this month:

I once quit a job, and when my boss asked why, I simply said, “I hate it here.” Best day of my life.

51 shares on YouTube this month:

Bruschetta is 80% delicious and 20% mess.

81 shares on Discord this month:

It was a complicated 17-hour surgery, but they finally managed to separate the art from the artist.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇷 has shared:

From now on, every time I think I’m hating too much, I will think of Kendrick and realize I’m not hating to my full potential.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has copied:

I can’t decide if people who wear pajamas in public have given up on life or are living it to the fullest.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has shared:

I am so tired ever my tiredness is tired.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has shared:

Every house is a dream house when you can’t afford one.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has viewed:

Stopped using exclamation points in work messages so my coworkers know they’ve killed my spirit.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has viewed:

It’s funny how quickly you become difficult if you don’t always just say “yes”.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has shared:

I’m not athletic, but I’m good at jumping to conclusions.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has shared:

Gen Z will be like “OMG new life hack!” and then it’s a video of them adjusting the toaster dial.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has copied:

Girls will be like “I have so much to do” then grab some snacks and start watching a 10 part docuseries on serial killers.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has viewed:

Remember, when a package says “sharing size”, that’s just a guideline. They have no enforcement mechanism.

Social Media Log 💫

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

If craziness could fly, some people would have their own airport.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Went to the toilet today without my cell phone. There are 245 tiles.

Has anyone noticed what it’s beginning to look a lot like?

38% of being a dad is sitting in a car, looking at your watch, and waiting for everybody else to come out.

Sorry I marked myself as safe on Facebook after your PowerPoint presentation.

Got a job rejection, saw the company post the same job again, so I applied again. I decide when we’re done.

Me: I love you more than a flower loves the sun. Him: I love you more than a teenager loves his phone.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨