31 funny fly quotes - Wordgag

I’m not good at quickly making up derogatory names on the fly, unless I’m driving.

May 23, 2026

I hate when flies rub their disgusting little hands together. What could you possibly be plotting? You can’t even get out of the open window.

May 22, 2026

Why’d they call it a fly swatter and not a splatula?

May 22, 2026

Dear God, make me a bird so I can fly. Fly far, far away and also so I can poop on people.

May 22, 2026

If you pick a movie that’s longer than the flight, the pilot gets a notification to fly around for a bit.

May 22, 2026

Every McDonald’s should have a flag they fly at half mast when the ice cream machine is down.

May 21, 2026

All the fruit flies are well-behaved near the garbage, only one is constantly nagging somewhere else because it thinks it has to discover new lands.

May 21, 2026

As long as you’re still fishing fruit flies out of your drink, you’re not drunk.

May 21, 2026

I should’ve been a crow. They get to fly around looking goth as hell and seeking retribution. Instead, I have to go to an office and work on my ‘people skills.’

May 20, 2026

If craziness could fly, some people would have their own airport.

May 20, 2026

She said she liked animals but apparently all the fruit flies around my apartment was a “turn off”

May 20, 2026

The sound of a buzzing fly is enough to ruin my whole mood.

May 19, 2026

Not a gold digger, but the other night a woman told me her grandpa owns a Christmas tree farm. That shit had me rubbing my hands like a fly.

May 19, 2026

People used to fly kites. Glad that’s over with.

May 19, 2026

In Star Wars, anyone can hop in any spaceship and knows how to fly it. I just spent 20 minutes trying to find the headlights in a rental car.

May 18, 2026

Why do fruit flies be everywhere but at the supermarket? Ain’t that like their Golden Corral?

May 18, 2026

If you’ve never been hit with gay allegations, you’re not fly enough.

Mar 31, 2026

I wish flies spoke English, so I could say, ‘Hey, if you don’t leave right now, I am going to kill you so hard.’

Mar 31, 2026

Flying bugs can basically go anywhere they want, but still choose to fly right into your face.

Mar 31, 2026

You are why Superman costumes have warning labels telling you the costume won’t make you fly.

Mar 31, 2026

Aliens probably lock their doors when they fly past Earth.

Mar 30, 2026

Flies are literally obsessed with flying into a room, then pretending they can’t get out. Grow up.

Mar 30, 2026

I like when the superheroes that can fly pick up and carry the ones that can’t.

Mar 30, 2026

A fly swatter, but for close talkers.

Mar 30, 2026

A wise man once said, “Bees don’t waste their time explaining to flies that honey is better than shit.”

Mar 30, 2026

Do crabs underwater think that fishes fly?

Mar 30, 2026

Some 100 private jets will fly to Venice for Jeff Bezos’ wedding, and I recycle yoghurt cup lids.

Mar 30, 2026

If idiots could fly, TikTok would be an airport.

Mar 28, 2026

The cheapest way to fly is off the handle.

Mar 27, 2026

Twitter sucks so much, but randomly there are such funny tweets, so I wait, like a frog, for one delicious fly.

Mar 27, 2026

Hey man, your fly is down. Let me get that for you.

Mar 26, 2026