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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇾 has downloaded:

Tech bro obsessed with “storytelling,” but hasn’t read a book in the last 5 years.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has downloaded:

My advice to young people to prepare for getting older is to start stretching immediately.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has copied:

Telling your parents about your problems is like trying to put out a fire with gasoline.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has shared:

Friends with consequences.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has copied:

I’m just a crazy person looking for a crazy person who finds me completely normal.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has viewed:

If Wonka had a spaghetti factory, I’d get sucked into a marinara river tube so fast.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has downloaded:

The biggest joke on mankind is that computers have started asking humans to prove that they are not robots.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has bookmarked:

Maybe I died of Covid in 2020, and this is hell.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has copied:

It’s not jingling to you that I’m standing on Christmas.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has copied:

No thanks, social media influencers. I prefer making decisions the old-fashioned way: under the influence of alcohol.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Dec 31, 2025

3,634

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Messenger:

“There’s a particular type of insufferability that rich people from poor countries have, that I don’t yet fully know how to verbalize.”

Broadcasted on Slack:

I just borrowed some money from a cash app, now I’m about to uninstall it.

Making waves on Discord:

I wonder if this is all happening because I opened that umbrella inside.

Making waves on Slack:

Sometimes my greatest accomplishment is keeping my mouth shut.

Trending via WeChat:

Normalise following up to an ignored email with “helllooooooo?”

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Marriage is just asking each other, “What do you want to do for dinner?” and then replying, “No, not that,” until death do us part.

Just shared via Threads:

Best friends: they know how crazy you are but still choose to be seen in public with you.

Broadcasted on TikTok:

Just because you are unique, doesn’t mean you are useful.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

I remember the first time I saw a universal remote control. I thought to myself, “Wow, this changes everything.”

Making waves on Messenger:

How do I tell the mosquitoes that I don’t consent?

If I were an organ, I’d fail.

2 months ago

0

If I were an organ, I’d fail.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Looks like someone's having an 'off-key' moment 🎵😬 Don't worry, even the best organs need a little tune-up every now and then! Keep on rockin' in the key of life, and remember, even failures can make beautiful music in the end! 🎹🎶"

fail, humor, i, ID, organ, sarcasm, self-deprecation

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

The gaps in my resume are from the space bar.

0

2 months ago

bar, employment, gaps, humor, job, job search, resume, search, space, space bar
I wish people knew how good I can sing when I’m alone in my car and in my shower.

0

2 months ago

alone, car, good, humor, i, moment, people, performance, private, private moment, self-expression, shower, sing, singing, wish
If you add orange juice to Jason Momoa, you get a Jason Mimosa.

0

2 months ago

drink, humor, Jason, juice, Mimosa, Momoa, orange, orange juice, pun, wordplay
Why procrastinate now when you can always procrastinate later?

0

2 months ago

always, delay, humor, later, procrastinate, time, why
Eternal Sunshine of the Thotless Grind.

0

2 months ago

culture, grind, humor, media, modern, modern slang, parody, phrase, phrase parody, playful, pop, pop culture, slang, social, social media, sunshine, witty
Since it’s impossible to know which period of my life is the middle, I’ve decided to have an ongoing crisis.

0

3 months ago

crisis, humor, impossible, know, life, middle, midlife, midlife crisis, ongoing, ongoing crisis, period, reflection, self, self-reflection

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

83 shares on Instagram this month:

Can we bring back the lost art of just hanging out at your friends house doing absolutely nothing?

98 shares on Snapchat this month:

You’re all badass until that dust bunny in the corner is a real spider.

32 shares on Facebook this month:

Where do I see myself in 5 years? Here, but fatter.

54 shares on Facebook this month:

One day my sanity went out for smokes and never came back.

24 shares on Facebook this month:

I’m at the age where using the wrong pillow makes you feel like you broke your neck.

28 shares on Instagram this month:

Cool times create cool guys.

83 shares on Reddit this month:

Thank you for the opportunity but I don’t think being human is a good fit for me. I’m going to go back to school to become an octopus.

51 shares on Telegram this month:

Sorry, I’m late. I sat on my bed in a towel for 45 minutes, staring at the wall.

28 shares on X this month:

Sometimes I wish I understood what some of you said and sometimes I am happy that I don’t.

82 shares on WeChat this month:

Just once I’d like my dog to give me a treat.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Right before rock bottom, you’ll have a city builder game on your phone.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

My comments on your home decor are not criticisms, they are deep concerns.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Nobody flirts better than a girl with zero interest.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Sometimes you just gotta say LOL and move on.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

“I asked ChatGPT.” “I asked Grok.” I asked God to strike me dead with lightning.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Worst part about not buying snacks so you won’t eat snacks is not having snacks when you need a lil snack.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

We can’t all be underemployed creatives. Someone in the group chat needs to know what an insurance is.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Phones are wild… we really just sit around tapping glass all day.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

I have read that there are imaginary pregnancies. The belly gets bigger and bigger, but there is no baby inside. Finally a diagnosis.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

When someone asks me why I’m in a wheelchair, I want to say something ridiculous like, “I’m not standing up until I’ve saved a million.”

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,572

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇱 has downloaded:

I learned Morse code, and then I couldn’t sleep because the rain kept telling me to go fuck myself.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has shared:

Nothing is funnier than seeing how angry someone gets when they realize they can’t manipulate you.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has bookmarked:

I have high standards for dating because I’m a high-quality woman, and you wouldn’t want me any other way.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has copied:

Sometimes a girl has to delete all the apps on her phone and not speak to anyone for a week to find true happiness.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has bookmarked:

I need a massage for my brain.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has shared:

I hate having a body, it’s so high maintenance. Shower this, eat that, drink this, sleep that, it’s all very stupid.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has bookmarked:

If you’re a mad scientist, put a note in your laboratory reminding you to sometimes be a happy scientist.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has downloaded:

That made me feel good. I think I’ll become addicted.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has downloaded:

One of the benefits of being my friend is that you can come to my house in your pajamas, no make-up, and look like crap and I won’t judge you.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has bookmarked:

I was sad, but then I ordered some new clothes. I’m okay now.

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

I can’t wait to buy Chanel bags on a random Tuesday for me and my friends.

Making waves on Pinterest:

Getting stoned when you have a cat is awesome because it will just walk in and I’m immediately cracking up. Like, look at this dude, I bloody love this guy.

Just shared via Pinterest:

Be the reason why your local woods are haunted.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

There is absolutely no excuse for laziness. But if you find one, let me know.

Broadcasted on Telegram:

I had a marvelous time ruining everything.

Trending via Instagram:

When you meet twins, demand to speak with the one in charge.

Seen just now on WeChat:

I can turn wine into water about two hours after drinking it. Checkmate Jesus.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Spring is what we call the time in between complaining about the cold and complaining about the heat.

Making waves on TikTok:

In honor of Charles Dickens, I will also be poor this Christmas.

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

Relationship status: my sex robot filed a restraining order.

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