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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇫🇷 has downloaded:

All these galaxies and planets, and we ended up on the one with 40 hour work weeks.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has copied:

Do you think Yoda says “7-6” instead?

Someone from 🇪🇸 has copied:

Obsessed with how Siri just doesn’t work at all, ever.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has copied:

My birth year getting a lil too far on those lil scroll lists. I don’t like that.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has shared:

Netflix should’ve just maybe mailed us all this fight on DVD.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has downloaded:

People say opposites attract, but I say find a partner who’s deranged in the same ways you are and double your capacity to be annoying.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has copied:

The hairdresser asking me what special plans I have for the day like this wasn’t it.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has copied:

I’m not super into getting older but I do like how nobody asks me to help them move anymore.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has copied:

You’re old if you’re excited to learn how to play Mahjong.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has downloaded:

She’s got style. She’s got grace. She dropped her cellphone on her face. She’s a lady.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

236 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,505

Funny Quotes Topics

17,570

Funny Quotes Images

15,505

Jan 6, 2026

3,389

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on YouTube:

I am re-watching “Narcos,” and I have to say that for someone who smokes so much weed, Pablo Escobar gets a lot done.

Just shared via Messenger:

Now that I’m in my mid-forties, I think I’ll take up parkour.

Spotted on Facebook:

I’m not here to make friends, just noise.

Seen just now on WeChat:

Stop rushing in the morning. You’re starting your day in panic mode.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

“Twister 3” should be told from a cow’s POV.

Shared recently on YouTube:

I’m so good at sleeping that I can do it with my eyes closed.

Live now on Snapchat:

The only time you should be faking it is when your pet checks to see if you’re awake.

Making waves on Reddit:

Tolerate the lactose already, you heathen.

Seen just now on Discord:

When I was a kid, we still ate noodles. Then at some point we ate pasta. Today, we only eat carbs.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

The perfect job for me would be the person staining things for detergent commercials.

If parallel universe exist, I hope the other me is doing well.

2 months ago

0

If parallel universe exist, I hope the other me is doing well.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Rumor has it that in a parallel universe, the other you is living their best life, sipping on cosmic cocktails and reigning supreme as the king/queen of interdimensional dabbing! 🌌👑✨ Let's hope they've got it all figured out and aren't bogged down by laundry like us mere mortals in this universe! 🧺😅 #ParallelYouGoals"

doing, exist, hope, humor, i, me, other me, parallel, parallel universe, self-reflection, universe, well, well-being

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

The first 7 days of the week aren’t for me.

0

2 months ago

days, humor, me, procrastination, rest, week, weekend
Watching women’s tennis and getting angry at the net. We shouldn’t put needless obstacles in the way of women.

0

2 months ago

anger, angry, competition, equality, getting, humor, net, obstacle, put, sports, tennis, watching, women
Discord is only good for calling friends on the computer. Please do not waste your time getting caught up in random servers.

0

2 months ago

calling, caught, computer, discord, friends, getting, good, only, please, random, time, waste
A long time ago, being crazy meant something. Nowadays, everybody is crazy.

0

5 months ago

ago, being, change, crazy, humor, madness, meant, society, something, time
The best way to describe this year is to say it feels like a year of Mondays.

0

4 months ago

best, describe, feeling, feels, humor, Monday, say, time, year
And then there are those dates after which you think: “Have I really shaved my legs for this?”

0

2 months ago

after, date, disappointment, expectation, humor, i, legs, relationship, shaved, shaving, think

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

28 shares on WeChat this month:

Does everyone in the world want to come to my house tomorrow?

88 shares on TikTok this month:

You were promised to me 3,000 years ago.

48 shares on Threads this month:

People at the library need to learn how to be quiet. Some of us are trying to beatbox over here.

18 shares on Discord this month:

If you finish every sentence with “as the prophecy foretold”, your coworkers will leave you alone.

89 shares on Slack this month:

November moving quicker than two lesbians who met three days ago.

35 shares on Instagram this month:

Don’t let the fact that I’m deeply unserious distract you from the fact that you’re in the presence of a genius.

19 shares on Reddit this month:

I’m never really sure what to do with my hands when I go jogging, so I don’t go jogging.

14 shares on Discord this month:

Some people should have read-only access to the internet.

55 shares on Slack this month:

I use subtitles so if I learn anything interesting I can say “I was reading about” instead of “I saw on an episode of Love Island”

38 shares on Messenger this month:

Shoutout to everyone who works hard to support their dog’s extravagant lifestyle.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

12 folks are currently checking 👀

I may not be the smartest or most athletic man in the world. There’s no second part to this, keep scrolling.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

If you think my posts are ridiculous, you should see some of my life choices.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Blocking people isn’t enough. I need their favorite TV show to get cancelled.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

I hate that I present as an independent woman who doesn’t need any help. It’s a facade. Help me.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

I respectfully ignore DMs because I promise you, I am not your soulmate.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Job posting: $15/hr for master’s degree. Burrito menu: $23 for bean and cheese burrito.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m chronically online in a different and more sophisticated way than you are.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m at the “buy bigger jeans” part of my Eat. Pray. Love. journey.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Why do birds love going apeshit first thing in the morning?

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Kendrick inspires me to be a bigger, deeper, more passionate hater.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

236 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,505

Funny Quotes Topics

17,570

Funny Quotes Images

15,505

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,471

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇿 has downloaded:

I feel like we’re on like the 50th or 60th horseman of the apocalypse by now.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has viewed:

Autocorrect has become our worst enema.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has bookmarked:

Trying to win an argument online is sociopathic. I would concede anything to get a stranger to leave me alone.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has bookmarked:

Shrimp: “When I grow up, I want to be food waste at a gala.”

Someone from 🇲🇪 has bookmarked:

I am a full grown adult. Now listen to me discuss the various plot holes in Paw Patrol.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has viewed:

Some people can start a task and then just finish it instead of trying to do a hundred things at once, like a squirrel on crack.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has downloaded:

Went jogging and came back after five minutes because I forgot something. Forgot I’m out of shape.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has downloaded:

Can I be speaker? I’m pretty good at saying a lot without saying anything at all.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has copied:

My birth year getting a lil too far on those lil scroll lists. I don’t like that.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has shared:

He’s called James Cameron because he turns the camera on.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on WeChat:

If the math problems are too difficult for me, I post them online and write: “Only 1 in 10 can solve this problem.”

Just shared via Facebook:

It’s Friday. Rules don’t apply.

Breaking via LinkedIn:

I need to find hobbies that don’t include my debit card.

Trending via Messenger:

I’m so jealous of people who live near a coastal area. What do you mean you can just go to the beach on a random Tuesday?

Broadcasted on Facebook:

Don’t tell me to trust my gut. Thats where I put my snacks. Clearly that’s where I’m the weakest.

Trending via X:

Always funny to see motivational posts from people I know are toxic in real life.

Just landed via Reddit:

We live in a cosmic tornado, but sure, let’s all get jobs.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

My only regret is not leaving people alone the first time they moved funny.

Spotted on Facebook:

People acting all happy and energized first thing in the morning. Chill out! You aren’t a Teletubby.

Seen just now on Instagram:

Staring sadly at the empty ice cream bowl that’s too small for licking.

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