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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇴 has viewed:

I’m at the age where using the wrong pillow makes you feel like you broke your neck.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has downloaded:

Look, ice cream has eggs in it, therefore it is a breakfast food.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has downloaded:

Iced coffee and crying, the most Californian afternoon.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has copied:

What’s your favorite song about a white boy playing funky music?

Someone from 🇦🇪 has copied:

Coding: Where incessantly talking to yourself seems completely normal and debugging is like being a detective in a movie where you are both the detective and the perpetrator.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has bookmarked:

Automatic doors that don’t open fast enough make me look dumb.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has viewed:

If I ever go missing, check the snack aisle. I’m probably just deciding.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has copied:

You ever spend the day with a skinny person and are like “ohhhh, that’s why you’re skinny”.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has copied:

“You’re under the weather?” We all are, idiot. It’s in the sky.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has downloaded:

Your honor, if it pleases the court, here’s Wonderwall.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Jan 2, 2026

3,339

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Discord:

I forgot to sweep up some crumbs earlier, and I just heard an ant moaning in pleasure as he discovered the bounty.

Seen just now on Slack:

For me, math class is like watching a foreign movie without subtitles.

Going viral on Reddit:

Someone just honked to get me out of my parking spot faster… so now I have to sit here until both of us are dead.

Breaking via Reddit:

I speak for everyone when I say that finding the balance between watching movies, watching TV shows, and playing video games is harder than any job.

Just shared via Telegram:

The closer you are to nature, the further you are from idiots.

Live now on Messenger:

Movies in the 80s had me convinced that a main part of being a grown-up was staying late at the office and eating Chinese takeout.

Just landed via X:

My favorite part about talking to my teens is when they give me direct eye contact, listen intently, nod understandingly and then do the exact opposite of what I just said.

Going viral on Pinterest:

You can make a salad without lettuce if you want, there are no rules.

Shared recently on TikTok:

Every man’s biggest fear is trying a new barber.

Seen just now on Threads:

Everyone thinks they won’t be that couple that goes from ‘everything you do is a turn-on’ to ‘you’re breathing too loud,’ but they will be, oh, they will be.

If parallel universe exist, I hope the other me is doing well.

2 months ago

0

If parallel universe exist, I hope the other me is doing well.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Rumor has it that in a parallel universe, the other you is living their best life, sipping on cosmic cocktails and reigning supreme as the king/queen of interdimensional dabbing! 🌌👑✨ Let's hope they've got it all figured out and aren't bogged down by laundry like us mere mortals in this universe! 🧺😅 #ParallelYouGoals"

doing, exist, hope, humor, i, me, other me, parallel, parallel universe, self-reflection, universe, well, well-being

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I love reading a menu. Look at all this stuff I want to eat.

0

2 months ago

appetite, cravings, dining, eat, food, humor, i, love, menu, reading, stuff, want
Why would a needle be in a haystack, anyway?

0

1 month ago

confusion, haystack, humor, irony, needle, question, why
I’m glad laughter is the best medicine because my insurance sucks.

0

2 months ago

best, glad, happiness, health, humor, insurance, joke, laughter, medicine, sucks
Welcome to Netflix. We have every movie but the one you actually want to watch.

0

2 months ago

actually, choice, disappointment, entertainment, every, humor, movie, Netflix, streaming, want, watch, welcome
If you would just let me help, you’d be in an even worse position than you are now.

0

2 months ago

assistance, even, failure, frustration, help, humor, just, let, me, position, problem, sarcasm, worse, worse position
You ask a girl if she ate, and she gon say, “Yeah, I had my coffee.”

0

2 months ago

ask, breakfast, coffee, conversation, daily, daily routine, eating, girl, humor, i, routine, say

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

100 shares on Discord this month:

Applied for an internship to gain experience and got rejected because I didn’t have relevant experience.

22 shares on X this month:

The horror: “Come on, I’ll introduce you to everyone.”

30 shares on Pinterest this month:

He thinks I’m so smart because I read books. Baby, they is FAWKING in these books.

63 shares on WhatsApp this month:

It sucks when you realize it’s only Thursday, until you realize it’s Wednesday.

59 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Girl, if the moon can block the sun, then you can definitely block your ex.

73 shares on Twitch this month:

Did you know that if a unicorn and I were to race, the unicorn would likely win cause unicorns are about as real as my desire to race anything?

78 shares on Twitch this month:

Sharks are orcs, dolphins are elves.

76 shares on YouTube this month:

Love is in the air fryer.

94 shares on WeChat this month:

I’ll never understand people who go through self-checkout line and slowly and carefully scan their items. This line is for stealing.

65 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Shout-out to the lifeguard who recommended moving the potato to the front of my Speedo.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

12 folks are currently checking 👀

I want whatever the people who run at 6 a.m. have.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Does anyone actually know how to pronounce Worcestershire sauce correctly, or do we all just stumble through it and hope for the best?

5 folks are currently checking 👀

“Bluetooth or Insane?” is a fun game we all play when we see a lone person speaking out loud in public.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Nice tweets, bro. What medications are you on?

6 folks are currently checking 👀

They should invent health insurance that insures your health.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

The trick of life is to get the sports car before you have to grunt getting in and out of it.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

I am in favor of equal pay for men on OnlyFans.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

The 5 seconds in the morning, when I don’t yet know who I am, is the best time of the day.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

I bet this email finds you silently screaming on the inside.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

I’ve finally found out what chronology is. And it’s about time.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,483

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇷 has viewed:

I miss getting my misinformation from less places.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has viewed:

I want to be cremated so that I will get a smoking-hot body again.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has copied:

I’m on this new diet where I don’t consume anything that talks to me before the first coffee.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has copied:

My husband loves it when he orders fries, I say I don’t want any, and then I swoop in on his like a seagull at the beach.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has bookmarked:

I remember when “disinformation” used to be called “lies.”

Someone from 🇿🇲 has viewed:

The worst part about being an adult is that no matter how sad you get, the show must go on.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has copied:

Shoutout to my kids because they aren’t listening!

Someone from 🇹🇯 has viewed:

I’m sorry, I didn’t realize how quiet your bathroom exhaust fan was.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has bookmarked:

Can’t, I’m raging against the machine.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has shared:

My grandad fought Germans on the beaches of Normandy. This was last summer and it was very embarrassing.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on YouTube:

It infuriates me that computer Scrabble doesn’t get mad when I win even though I’m livid when it wins.

Seen just now on Threads:

I think it’s time when we buy new clothes that we have the option to buy the body they’re being modelled in too.

Going viral on Twitch:

No matter how weird things seem to get, there’s always an episode of The Twilight Zone that was eerily similar.

Trending via Threads:

Y’all screenshot payment confirmations to make sure they don’t play with y’all too?

Shared recently on Reddit:

My husband sure has a lot of opinions on which movie he’s gonna sleep through.

Going viral on Pinterest:

Another Monday that no one asked for.

Broadcasted on X:

She said she liked animals but apparently all the fruit flies around my apartment was a “turn off”

Shared recently on WeChat:

Imagine sex with me. No, not like that, you’re doing it all wrong!

Spotted on Telegram:

I don’t understand people who forget to eat. I’m already planning lunch while chewing breakfast.

Broadcasted on WeChat:

Men invented pool tables so they could watch each other bend over.

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