Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇹 has shared:

I might look like I have my life together, but that’s only because the mess is out of the camera frame.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has shared:

The most unrealistic part of cooking shows is when they have enough room in their fridge to fit an entire baking sheet.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has copied:

If someone else makes you a sandwich, it’s always better than if you do it yourself. It’s the same with sex.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has shared:

Carrying my phone from room to room like a Victorian woman and her lantern.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has copied:

Who else writes “etc.” knowing damn well you don’t have more examples?

Someone from 🇯🇵 has bookmarked:

I’m done with dating sites and am now only focusing on food delivery people. They have a job, a car, and most importantly food.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has shared:

Don’t you hate it when you buy veggies and when you get them home you realize they’re donuts?

Someone from 🇵🇬 has shared:

A girl hating you is a million times better than her calling you a ‘nice guy’.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has viewed:

My lotion bottle says to use it on areas of irritation, so I slathered it all over my coworker, Deborah.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has shared:

I’m starting to understand the distant uncle.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

234 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,503

Funny Quotes Topics

17,569

Funny Quotes Images

15,503

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,295

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via WeChat:

I get it, funds… I, too, am insufficient.

Just shared via YouTube:

I’ve cooked for men I should have poisoned, so yeah, I do have self-control.

Seen just now on WeChat:

November doesn’t have afternoons. It’s just morning until 2 p.m., then night.

Spotted on Reddit:

I’m exactly where I want to be. At home, avoiding people.

Just landed via WeChat:

Never faked an orgasm before, but the joy of ugly presents.

Trending via WhatsApp:

Running feels great until you compare it to not running.

Shared recently on Threads:

Not to brag but I am evidence of things unseen.

Going viral on Facebook:

I’ll marry your mom just so I can ground you.

Broadcasted on TikTok:

We need a streaming service that’s only ads. No shows, just commercials. They pay us $15 a month.

Live now on Threads:

The role I play at family gatherings is that of the cousin that doesn’t show up anymore.

If you don’t have a favorite spatula yet, you still have some growing up to do.

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If you don’t have a favorite spatula yet, you still have some growing up to do.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
"🍳 Don't be a flip-flopper when it comes to spatulas! It's time to whisk up some maturity and get yourself a favorite one! 🥄 After all, a good spatula will always stick by your side, just like a loyal pancake waiting to be flipped."

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

61 shares on Telegram this month:

Chocolate doesn’t ask silly questions, chocolate understands.

15 shares on Twitch this month:

What I’ve learned in all these years of marriage is how to open a bottle of beer silently.

73 shares on Twitch this month:

Political ads be like: send us money so we can send you more ads.

93 shares on WhatsApp this month:

When I’m done eating… I have to show my hands to my cat, like I’m a blackjack dealer.

50 shares on Instagram this month:

Going through life with a signature I invented as a teenager.

28 shares on LinkedIn this month:

My therapist says he can’t take any more of my talk and that I should join a group. So, here I am.

22 shares on Discord this month:

Went fishing and actually caught a fish. So now I gotta deal with this shit.

70 shares on YouTube this month:

Sorry that I cannot come out drinking with you tonight, as I will be drinking at home. Alone. By myself.

68 shares on Pinterest this month:

I’m not lazy, I’m waiting for inspiration to hit me… should be here any time now.

45 shares on X this month:

It’s leg day. No, not at the gym, dummy. I’m shaving them.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Polish girls are just winter Latinas.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Opening a bakery and calling it “I’m a crepe. I’m a weird dough.”

21 folks are currently checking 👀

What song lyric resonates with you the most? Mine is “we’re tiny, we’re toony, we’re all a little loony”

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Once I get my UFO, don’t be asking me for rides.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

The only thing that drains faster than my phone battery is my bank account.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

That awkward moment when a zombie looking for brains walks right past you.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

This flight is so long, I don’t know where I’m going anymore. I just live here now. Even the crying baby gave up.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

My bank assures me my money is safe with them, yet they keep their pens chained to desks and most of them are missing.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

This too shall pass. It might pass like a kidney stone. But it will pass.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

If your man cheats on you, dump him and date his dad, make him your step son.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

234 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,503

Funny Quotes Topics

17,569

Funny Quotes Images

15,503

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,483

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇪 has bookmarked:

Why is the debate at night time? Let’s get this thing started at 4pm. I don’t need to get riled up so close to bedtime.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has bookmarked:

What was the name of the boat in Titanic?

Someone from 🇿🇲 has copied:

You have to stay up as needlessly late as possible to make the next day as horrible and hard as possible.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has copied:

I just lost all my tabs. Only now do I understand the tragedy that was the burning of the Library of Alexandria.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has downloaded:

Gonna get my eye looked at today. Usually it’s the other way around.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has downloaded:

If someone asks why you’re so pale, simply reply, completely shocked, “You can see me?”

Someone from 🇾🇪 has shared:

Women call me ugly until they find out how much money I make. Then they call me ugly and poor.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has bookmarked:

A penguin is a bird the way a hot dog is a sandwich.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has shared:

Find someone who cares about you as much as Gmail cares about new devices signing into your account.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has copied:

Wisdom of the day: Don’t do anything you don’t want to explain to the paramedic.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Cleaning the rocks of the earth one load of my kids’ laundry at a time.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

If I win the lottery, no one around me will be broke, and I truly mean that. I will move to a wealthy neighborhood.

Just landed via Snapchat:

Life would be so much simpler if you could just smack the stupid out of people instead having to reason with them.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

Any tips on being smart? For someone just getting into thinking.

Spotted on Instagram:

Washing mushrooms is the quickest way to figure out exactly how much dirt you’re okay with eating.

Broadcasted on X:

You’re supposed to store a treasure in your cleavage that’s why it’s called a chest.

Trending via Instagram:

I followed a diet but it didn’t follow me back, so I unfollowed it.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

If you haven’t felt old yet today, try explaining to a teenager how little kids used to sit on a phone book at dinner to be able to reach the table.

Seen just now on Twitch:

Neighbors are fighting. Can I knock on the wall and ask them to speak up so I know whose side I’m on?

Going viral on Facebook:

“I’m not afraid to admit when I’m wrong. For example, I thought it was a good idea to leave the house today, which, as it turns out, was a terrible mistake.”

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