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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇫🇲 has bookmarked:

Haircuts should be covered by insurance.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has viewed:

Be the reason someone burns sage.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has viewed:

I don’t understand how I can remember every word of a song from 1984, but I can’t remember why I walked into the kitchen.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has viewed:

I’m not sure how long my body can handle this “getting out of bed early in the morning” nonsense.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has viewed:

Being a dinosaur sounds kinda nice. No bills, no work, just extinct.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has copied:

My greatest joy in life is when a friend reads a book I recommend. My greatest frustration in life is when they don’t read it fast enough.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has viewed:

I like to describe the difference between theory and practice with shopping lists and receipts.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has shared:

Cleaning a house with children in it is like shoveling snow on the North Pole.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has downloaded:

We’ve had far more storms since we started naming them. We’re giving them the attention they crave. Just call it needy wind.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has shared:

Sundries sounds like something grandma would call scandalous underwear.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

747 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,909

Funny Quotes Topics

13,877

Funny Quotes Images

10,909

1 hour ago

3,417

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Pinterest:

Waffles are just pancakes with convenient boxes to hold your syrup.

Going viral on Facebook:

This quote is invisible. Only people who masturbate a lot can read it.

Making waves on Reddit:

The local casino is hosting a speed dating event. Just what every woman needs, a new boyfriend with a gambling problem.

Reported on Twitch:

I like how people say “travel safely” like I’m the one flying the plane.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

I don’t get mad anymore. I’m just like “again?” Ok then.

Breaking via Twitch:

Skinny people are easier to get blown around by storms. These donuts are for my safety.

Seen just now on WeChat:

God’s plan for me is super weird so far.

Making waves on YouTube:

My ex said I had commitment issues but this giant jar of Nutella says otherwise.

Freshly posted on Discord:

If you’re not easily offended, why are you even online?

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Dear LOL, thanks for being there when I have nothing else to say.

Home » Funny Kitchen Quotes

76 Funny kitchen quotes

Funny kitchen quotes add a dash of humor to your culinary adventures! 🍳😂 From witty remarks about cooking mishaps to playful observations about our favorite kitchen gadgets, these quotes capture the lighter side of meal prep and kitchen chaos. Whether you’re a seasoned chef or just trying to avoid a kitchen disaster, these funny kitchen quotes will bring a smile to your face and make your cooking experience a bit more enjoyable. Bon appétit and enjoy the laughs! 😄🍴

New funny kitchen quotes 👇

4 days ago
Share →: The agony of thinking you’re finished doing the dishes, only to turn around and, to your horror, the pot.

Commentary:
Just when you think you're done, the pot's like, "Surprise! I'm the boss level of dishwashing!" 😅🍲🧼
5 days ago
Share →: One minute you’re young and wild, the next minute you’re into air fryers.

Commentary:
I guess my spice rack now outranks my social calendar 😂🍳 #AdultingAdventures
5 days ago
Share →: My cat just knocked over my coffee mug and looked at me like it was my fault. How dare I put it on the edge of the table?

Commentary:
Cats have an MBA in blaming others. Next, they'll demand an apology letter and a spotless résumé. ☕😹
5 days ago
Share →: Italians, look away now. I break my spaghetti in half before I cook it.

Commentary:
Pasta crime alert 🚨 Breaking spaghetti? That's a pasta-tastrophe! 🍝🤣
5 days ago
Share →: The recipe I’m making specifically says “allow to cook undisturbed,” and yet my whole family is standing in the kitchen.

Commentary:
Sounds like the only thing cooking undisturbed tonight will be my patience! 🍳😅👨‍🍳
7 days ago
Share →: Moment of silence for those who received mugs that aren’t microwave- and dishwasher-safe.

Commentary:
RIP to those fancy mugs that are now just fancy dust collectors ☕️🕯️✨
2 weeks ago
Share →: Me, having zero balance in my account, viewing houses worth 10 million, and being like, “No, I don’t like the kitchen.”

Commentary:
"Dream big or go home… oh wait, I can't afford that either! 😅🏠💸 #KitchenCriticWithEmptyPockets"
2 weeks ago
Share →: My wife rearranged the kitchen cabinets, and now I’ll never eat again.

Commentary:
😂🍽️ "Guess I'm on an involuntary culinary treasure hunt now! Let the games begin! #LivingOnTakeout"
2 weeks ago
Share →: Gonna spend today following my cats into the kitchen and meowing at them until they give me treats.

Commentary:
"Finally mastering the art of reverse psychology—cat edition! 😹🐾🍣"
1 month ago
Share →: I don’t think I’ve ever made the right amount of pasta.

Commentary:
"When it comes to pasta, I either feed an army or a hamster! 🍝🤷‍♂️ #Pastatastrophes"

For even more funny kitchen quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny kitchen quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

747 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,909

Funny Quotes Topics

13,877

Funny Quotes Images

10,909

1 hour ago

3,424

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇦 has shared:

Imagine how organized the first person to write down a recipe must have been.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has viewed:

Twitter is the most fun you can have on the toilet.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has downloaded:

The good news is cannon deaths have gone down dramatically in the last hundred years.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has shared:

Quit keeping your enemies closer. No wonder you feel like shit.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has copied:

Never understood when the movie rating says “May contain nudity.” Are there people on the ratings board who aren’t sure if they just saw someone naked?

Someone from 🇯🇲 has downloaded:

I cheat on my taxes by sleeping with other people’s taxes.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has viewed:

I’m at the gym and I just saw someone put their water bottle in the Pringles holder on the treadmill.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has copied:

It’s amazing how music can transport you to another place. For example, this coffee shop is playing Justin Bieber, so I’m going to another restaurant.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has shared:

Reoccurring dreams be like: ‘I dunno, here’s a rerun’

Someone from 🇧🇹 has viewed:

I got 3 miles in before breakfast. That’s enough driving for the day.

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Reddit:

Welcome to your 40’s: you get excited about avocados now.

Making waves on Snapchat:

Starting drama with me the week before my period is an absolutely terrible idea – for you.

Going viral on Twitch:

Shark tooth necklaces are the perfect accessory if you want to look tough but also tell the world, “I’ve been to a gift shop.”

Making waves on YouTube:

My mouth moves faster than my survival instincts.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Every room can be a room with a view when I’m in it.

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

Establish dominance at work by drinking iced tea in a wine glass.

Trending via X:

My retirement plan is recording a hit Christmas song. I just need to learn how to sing and write music.

Spotted on WeChat:

Jesus, I need money to organize your birthday.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Vote for me, I’ll cut the alphabet in half.

Reported on Snapchat:

Social media needs to crash for like a year so everybody can snap back into reality.

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