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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇱 has shared:

Wearing expensive perfume to work feels like such a waste. This should be under someone’s full body weight, not in a corporate setting.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has copied:

I feel bad for those that don’t enjoy their own company. I be having a ball by myself.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has viewed:

Pursuing an academic career is like thinking the stripper loves you.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has downloaded:

Whenever I’m not eating a breakfast sandwich I wish I was eating a breakfast sandwich.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has viewed:

“What’s your 5-year plan?” I’ll probably go to the movies next week, I think.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has copied:

Back in my day, we had to walk to the TV to change the channel. Uphill, both ways!

Someone from 🇰🇳 has shared:

I don’t think fish should be allowed to eat other fish. I don’t know. Just seems weird. That’s like your coworker, dude.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has shared:

The dildo of consequences rarely arrives lubed.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has downloaded:

Me to alien: I, too, try to live among people undetected.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has bookmarked:

Things I hate about group work: The group.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

215 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,484

Funny Quotes Topics

17,554

Funny Quotes Images

15,484

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,519

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on X:

Not opening up anymore, have fun trying to figure me out.

Just landed via Twitch:

Sorry for my bad behavior. Mercury is in gatorade or whatever.

Breaking via Instagram:

Whenever І wake up and see that someone has wrіtten a bunch of funny posts before noon, І assume they are a mornіng drіnker.

Trending via Telegram:

The best way to enjoy your tea while the world is falling apart around you is to remember that the world has always been falling apart around you.

Going viral on Instagram:

Waiting for my wife to approve my new year’s resolution of making independent decisions.

Going viral on Discord:

The older I get, the more I love my morning coffee and no one speaking to me.

Live now on Discord:

You know you’re a bad cook when the dog won’t lick the plate.

Broadcasted on Instagram:

They should invent a brain that doesn’t whisper bad things to you.

Shared recently on Telegram:

Not to brag but I don’t need alcohol to do something stupid.

Going viral on Facebook:

Don’t hate me, date me!

If you have any questions or concerns please don’t. Hesitate to ask.

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If you have any questions or concerns please don’t. Hesitate to ask.
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Commentary:
Oh, what a spectacular display of contradictory encouragement! 🤔 Fantastic! So, should we ask, or shouldn't we ask? 🤷‍♂️ The mystery deepens! Don't hesitate… unless you should? 🤣 Just a minor linguistic malfunction, I'm sure. Just roll with it! 😄

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

66 shares on Snapchat this month:

Woke up, twerked in the mirror and laid back down.

77 shares on Messenger this month:

According to a study, people believe anything that starts with ‘according to a study’.

20 shares on Pinterest this month:

Traded my Fitbit in for a Sitbit.

68 shares on Instagram this month:

Problems are like balls. Everyone thinks they have bigger ones than you.

64 shares on TikTok this month:

There’s an app for the people who say they’re not seeking some form of validation here. It’s called a diary.

84 shares on Snapchat this month:

The dumbest thing about YouTube ads is how they seem to think that I’m a moron.

86 shares on Twitch this month:

We can do things two ways. My way or the right way.

24 shares on YouTube this month:

If I’m reading my Twitter feed correctly, Jennifer Aniston killed JFK.

78 shares on TikTok this month:

A haunted house but in every room someone is asking you to say a little something about yourself.

78 shares on Slack this month:

The problem with “treat yourself” is that I don’t know how to stop. I had a bad day in March, and I’ve been treating myself ever since.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Washing your face and water going down your elbow is so sickening.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

I usually decompose after work rather than decompress.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

“You’re so funny!” Thanks, I didn’t get laid in high school.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

The worst part about borrowing money is having to pay it back or move to a new city.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

It can be so healing to stay up until 3am. Unfortunately, it will also completely ruin your life.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m gonna dress how I want this summer, and if you think I’m fat, well, so do I.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Banks should have a gold bar that you can go in and touch when you feel poor.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Y’all smell that? A beautiful day that the Lord has made.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

My extravagant lifestyle of paying for housing and buying groceries is really getting in the way of my ability to save money.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

I want a pet eagle that’s trained to steal people’s sandwiches for me.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

215 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,484

Funny Quotes Topics

17,554

Funny Quotes Images

15,484

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,398

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇶 has copied:

The only thing I worry about when I’m in the restroom is if people are washing their hands or not.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has viewed:

My self-care routine is mostly just going to Mexican restaurants.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has bookmarked:

What’s it called when you’re super insecure but, at the same time, you can walk into a room full of people and think you’re better than everyone else?

Someone from 🇬🇷 has bookmarked:

You give a man your heart and he’s gonna put it under another girl’s picture.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has copied:

I find it hard to believe I used to just answer my phone when it rang. No caller ID. No idea who was calling. Just picked it up and said “hello” like a goddam daredevil.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has downloaded:

Nothing tests your patience like a group chat blowing up your phone.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has bookmarked:

“I read 20 books this year!” That’s nothing. I read 50,000 tweets.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has downloaded:

Sometimes being on your phone all day is your destiny.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has bookmarked:

The little umbrella is so unnecessary. Like, my drink is already wet, bro.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has bookmarked:

Twitter is the most fun you can have on the toilet.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on TikTok:

I don’t understand people who don’t have kids. Imagine having absolutely nobody to blame when you’re late.

Spotted on Discord:

I’ve arrived like the sun: blinding, necessary, and impossible to ignore.

Seen just now on TikTok:

If she tells you, she’s got a man, keep trying. Loyal women don’t even reply.

Just shared via Pinterest:

Please pray for my husband, he’s struggling to find me.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Fleetwood Mac said that I could go my own way, your honor.

Broadcasted on YouTube:

They call it a coffin because they’re finally coughing up that inheritance.

Just landed via Instagram:

It goes like this: You are born and then you basically do almost everything wrong. Then you die.

Live now on Twitch:

Why do we call it tuna fish? Is there any other tuna out there that’s not a fish?

Seen just now on Facebook:

To be happy as a man, you simply need to replace your screen time with beautiful women time.

Making waves on Messenger:

I am so full of love and anger, like a lava lamp.

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