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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇯 has copied:

Difference between a flirt and harassment: if you are handsome, it’s a flirt, if you are ugly, it’s harassment.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has copied:

When people say they’re speechless, I always hope they mean it, but they never stop talking.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has shared:

Probably the most empowered I’ve ever felt was that time I stuck a fork in a socket.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has bookmarked:

Got a botched circumcision, now my willy wonka.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has shared:

Brain, I know you’re trying hard, but you are not doing a good job.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has bookmarked:

Nobody knows my next move. Not even me.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has copied:

The lack of a pope has got me acting wild.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has bookmarked:

Life is like a helicopter. I don’t know how to operate a helicopter.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has downloaded:

Just eating the emotional support snickers bar in my purse. How about you?

Someone from 🇧🇼 has shared:

Do not take me to an escape room. I was a c-section. Someone is gonna have to come get me.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

676 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,827

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via YouTube:

A dinosaur as a pet would solve so many problems. Mainly, people problems.

Freshly posted on Threads:

You realize you’re getting old when your body parts start fighting over which one hurts first.

Just landed via YouTube:

The Wi-Fi stops working for 2 minutes, and suddenly I start thinking about life.

Trending via WeChat:

If liars’ pants really did catch on fire, watching the news would be a lot more fun.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

“I’m just playing devil’s advocate here.” Ok, why are you helping the devil?

Spotted on Threads:

I’m shocked it offended you, I was certain someone was gonna need to explain it to you.

Going viral on Slack:

They should release the Epstein list right before the Oscars.

Breaking via Instagram:

Nothing hits harder than opening the fridge for the fifth time, hoping new food magically appeared.

Going viral on WeChat:

Is ChatGPT my father-in-law because it keeps making stuff up and passing it off as fact?

Shared recently on Telegram:

Every room can be a room with a view when I’m in it.

If your first child is uncomplicated, then it’s a trick of nature to get you to have a second child. The second will be an unpredictable bundle of energy that seems to get by without sleep.

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If your first child is uncomplicated, then it’s a trick of nature to get you to have a second child. The second will be an unpredictable bundle of energy that seems to get by without sleep.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Having an easy first child is like nature's sneaky way of luring you into a false sense of parenting confidence 😏👶 But fear not, the second child is here to keep you on your toes with their endless energy and mysterious ability to function without sleep! 😅💤 #ParentingPlotTwist"

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

13 shares on X this month:

I know there are bigger problems in the world right now, but I’ve just realized I’ve never seen a baby seagull.

86 shares on Snapchat this month:

Can I come over and look at your Hot Wheels collection?

92 shares on Messenger this month:

The only thing I gained so far this year is weight.

16 shares on Twitch this month:

When I become president, any public holiday that falls on a Thursday automatically extends to Friday.

82 shares on TikTok this month:

Deleted old Tweets just in case I date a very famous woman with rabid fans.

41 shares on Messenger this month:

There should be a way to take back a compliment bestowed upon a person who doesn’t acknowledge it well.

32 shares on Threads this month:

If you’re alone on Thanksgiving, venmo me $25 and I’ll call and ask you when are you gonna get a “real” job and give me grandchildren.

31 shares on Discord this month:

I was told to be more optimistic so I’ve decided french fries aren’t bad for me.

37 shares on Facebook this month:

People have ex girlfriends, I have ex crushes.

58 shares on X this month:

“Is there anything else I can assist you with today?” No, just that one thing you couldn’t assist me with, thanks.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

14 folks are currently checking 👀

I am woman, hear me roar but also meow because I am sensitive.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

All my passwords are protected, by my poor memory.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Ctrl Alt delete my fat.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Pumpkin spice season comes earlier every year and yet some still deny climate change.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Going to look at the small picture for a while. Tired of seeing the big picture. Too much picture.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

The problem with rich people is that I am not one.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Some of you are still single because, when someone sends you romantic words, you reply with “hahaha.”

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Tailgating me while I’m going 90 in a 45 is crazy. And those red and blue lights on top of your car look stupid, btw, lol.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

My favorite part of socializing is when it’s over.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

I always have a bad connection in my head when someone tries to explain a card or board game to me.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

676 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,604

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇫🇲 has shared:

I hope the ghost of Michael Jackson Hee-Hee’s in your ear while you tryna sleep.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has viewed:

No, it’s fine. I watched some cartoons and now I feel a little more at ease with your stupidness.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has bookmarked:

Insanity runs in my family. It practically gallops.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has downloaded:

A single garbageman contributes more to society before lunch than every crypto trader and op-ed writer combined does in their lifetime.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has shared:

What’s a polite way to tell someone you hope they get mauled by a bear?

Someone from 🇸🇴 has shared:

Some people get it. Most people don’t.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has downloaded:

I love putting on warm underwear fresh out of the dryer. Plus, it’s fun to look around the laundromat and guess who they belong to.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has copied:

I bet this email finds you silently screaming on the inside.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has copied:

Before borrowing money from a friend, decide which you need most.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has bookmarked:

When I like a song, I repeat it until the artist comes out and ask for water.

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Threads:

My wife has the worst taste in men.

Making waves on TikTok:

Deciding if I should heal or just give up and go completely insane.

Going bananas on Reddit:

My wife is refusing to bring me a beer. That’s it, gonna text her and say “I cannot believe how lazy you are”.

Shared recently on Slack:

The point of life is going to a good restaurant and getting two cocktails with dinner. That’s it.

Going bananas on Twitch:

An introvert walked into a bar. Just kidding. The introvert stayed home.

Going bananas on Pinterest:

Girl, you gotta try this healing potion. It’s called beer.

Breaking via YouTube:

Kinda rude my neighbors live next to me.

Spotted on Discord:

Oh, you’re in a situationship? Which one are you, the liar or the loser?

Spotted on WeChat:

Just because it’s a bad idea doesn’t mean it won’t be a good time.

Going viral on YouTube:

It’s not about the cards you’re dealt, but how you play the hand you’ve got hidden up your sleeve.

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