Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • I may not have lost all my marbles yet, but there’s a small hole in the bag somewhere.
  • I probably never die because I don’t finish anything without a specific deadline.
  • I refuse to take a single bite of my food until I find something good on TV.
  • Why’d they call it a fly swatter and not a splatula?
  • I never make the same mistake twice. I make it like five or six times. You know, just to be sure.
  • My life changed when I learned some house spiders can’t survive outside, so now I just catch them and release them in a friend’s home.