Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇿🇦 has shared:

A haunted house, but every room is just learning more about Will & Jada.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has bookmarked:

I predict the next world war will be artificial intelligence versus genuine stupidity.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has shared:

I’ve started rejecting all cookies instead of accepting them. I don’t even know what it means, but I’ve had enough.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has bookmarked:

I can’t keep up anymore. Happy birthday to everyone for the rest of your life.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has shared:

They say an apple a day keeps a doctor away. But what do I need to eat to keep everyone away?

Someone from 🇲🇽 has downloaded:

I drive like I’m immortal.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has bookmarked:

Work is the worst video game ever.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has shared:

We’re all mature, until someone pulls out some bubble wrap.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has shared:

Sparkling water tastes like that feeling when your foot falls asleep.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has copied:

The sun really clocks out for the day before I do. That’s insane.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Jan 19, 2026

3,632

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on WeChat:

Dear algorithm, please show this post only to people who have innate psionic abilities and would use their abilities for the betterment of humanity if given a chance.

Going viral on Messenger:

I be like, “I needed this,” and it’s just me getting drunk.

Trending via Reddit:

Whole crypto scheme is built on people too dumb for crypto that aren’t self-aware enough to realize it.

Breaking via Reddit:

This place was really tidy yesterday. It’s a shame you missed it.

Just landed via Discord:

Brains are awesome. I wish I had one.

Spotted on Threads:

I miss when bills had nothing to do with me.

Going viral on Facebook:

90% of the things I worry about never happen. Worrying works.

Spotted on Discord:

I hope this email finds you at relative peace with the paradox of existence.

Trending via Facebook:

I know Jesus was a carpenter, but I think he would’ve been a better plumber, you know, with the water thing.

Going viral on Pinterest:

What’s a polite way to tell someone you hope they get mauled by a bear?

I’m a good listener. If you’re interesting.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"I'm like a top-tier podcast host – except my attention span is shorter than a goldfish's 🐠 If you can't hold my interest, I'll be mentally redecorating my living room by the time you finish your sentence. 😅 #GoodListener #ButOnlyForTheFascinating"

conversation, good, humor, interesting, listener, personality, social, wit

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Social Media Stars ⭐

43 shares on YouTube this month:

I love all mythical creatures. Vampires, werewolves, unicorns, kids who listen.

64 shares on TikTok this month:

Manipulative birthday text to an ex idea: thank you for loving me briefly in the way that only you could.

45 shares on Twitch this month:

“Are you ok?” Of course not. Next question!

22 shares on Pinterest this month:

Isn’t it beautiful how ‘Bruh’ has stood the test of time all these years.

39 shares on Facebook this month:

Whoever has my voodoo doll, can you give it a really good massage?

55 shares on Messenger this month:

Never cry at the weekend. Cry at work, at least then you’ll get paid for it.

81 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I’m at the age where the first thing I do when I get somewhere is look for a place to sit.

24 shares on YouTube this month:

Relationship status: you’d think something called a Roomba would be a better dancer.

86 shares on Pinterest this month:

The problem with rich people is that I am not one.

84 shares on Messenger this month:

Been getting really into nothing.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

8 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m already spoiled… please don’t come into my life trying to unspoil me.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m an ethical hater. My hate towards you is informed, balanced, and deeply nuanced.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

God: “I genuinely don’t remember making you all this stupid.”

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Restaurants: put your phone down, live in the moment. Also, scan our QR code and browse our menu.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m chronically online in a different and more sophisticated way than you are.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

If you pick a movie that’s longer than the flight, the pilot gets a notification to fly around for a bit.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

I only accept apologies in cash.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Sorry I didn’t respond to your message, I got stuck in a cloud while skydiving and lived for 72 days by drinking rain and eating birds that flew too close.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Part of getting older is having a favorite pen.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

There are two quantities of popcorn: not enough and what have I done

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 19, 2026

Users Online

3,463

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇬 has shared:

If you’re sleep-deprived and type the symptoms into Google, you’re as good as dead.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has copied:

Explaining myself is too much work, just judge me.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has bookmarked:

I got a raise! On my meds dosage. But still.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has viewed:

If you want to know who the bad guys are, it is the side who wants you arrested for memes and jokes.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has downloaded:

I don’t have red flags, I have fun facts.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has shared:

Some people still fail to understand that the boot still has no problem crushing you, even if you lick it clean.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has viewed:

You can always tell when a man’s mustache is performative and not representative of his true spirit.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has copied:

I thrive in a waiting room. You need me to sit in a chair and look at my phone? No worries, love, I do this at home.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has bookmarked:

The phone is the most evil screen. The computer is somewhat evil, but less so than the phone. The TV is benevolent.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has downloaded:

People who cook breakfast before going to work are too mature for me.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on LinkedIn:

This too shall pass, but what the hell?

Breaking via Threads:

Everyone you don’t like in your personal and professional life is a narcissist.

Just landed via Telegram:

I really miss kissing. I hope next year favors my lips.

Just shared via Telegram:

I need to know the brand of toothbrush my neighbor has. I hear it buzzing sometimes an hour at a time and she’s clearly enjoying it.

Live now on LinkedIn:

Note to self: No more bitching about ugly furniture with people at IKEA whose home you haven’t been to yet.

Just landed via Pinterest:

The sun is so successful because it has the perfect bedtime and morning routines.

Breaking via Discord:

If a woman says “Do what you want!”, then for God’s sake don’t do what you want!

Making waves on Discord:

When a girl is done with you, she talks to you like she’s in HR or something.

Seen just now on Messenger:

Why is sleeping at night so hard, but sleeping in the morning is like drifting away on a soft, fluffy cloud while Adele sings you a lullaby?

Going viral on Threads:

Seems like it would be really tough being a girl named Molly at a rave.

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