Trending Funny Quotes πŸ‘‡

  • Best tips for saving money: lay down and don’t move.
  • Vote for me and I’ll remove all the calories from cheese.
  • Not being able to fall asleep is so embarrassing. All I’m asking my brain to do is nothing and it can’t even do that?
  • Ask your doctor if it’s right for you to eat oranges and pretend they’re planets and you’re a Greek god.
  • Called in, “If we’re living in a simulation, just simulate that I’m in the office today.”
  • Nothing guarantees running into someone you know in public better than looking like a feral animal on two hours of sleep.