Commentary:
When sober, taxis are just a ride—when drunk, they're a free therapy session on wheels! 🚕🍸😂
59 Funny drunk quotes
Drunk me promising you anything is the equivalent of a politician giving their manifesto … it’s not gonna happen.
Commentary:
Promises made after a few drinks have the same shelf life as a politician's campaign promises—zero percent reliability! 🍻🤷♂️✨
Just remembered I can just get drunk after work instead of quitting. That was a close one.
Commentary:
Sounds like you've found the secret to job security! 🍻🤔🤣
Morning me just stripped the bedding. Evening me is going to be pissed.
Commentary:
Guess evening me forgot to leave a note for morning me 🛌😅🔁
This football season, we need to bring back getting drunk and calling in to your team’s local radio show after the game. Such a lost art.
Commentary:
Who needs art classes when you can master the craft of passionate post-game rants? 🎨📞🍻
I be like, “I needed this,” and it’s just me getting drunk.
Commentary:
Drowning my responsibilities one drink at a time! 🍹😂
I’m okay with being single. But at night, while I’m drunk, that’s too much.
Commentary:
Navigating the cocktail of single life and late-night feelings like a pro! 🍹😅🌙
Always the drunk texter, never the drunk textee.
Commentary:
Living proof that typos find me funnier than other people's texts.
Being single only sucks when you’re a little drunk and really want to flirt.
Commentary:
When you're tipsy and ready to mingle but your only date is a bowl of chips 🍟😂#PartyOfOne
That thing they say about getting drunk with the love of your life in a walkable city is no joke. It hits like crack.
Commentary:
Looks like true love and urban planning are the new dynamic duo 🍷💑🚶♂️🌆