I’m not joining no alternate Twitter app. If this gets taken down, I’m starting a family.

I'm not joining no alternate Twitter app. If this gets taken down, I'm starting a family.

Commentary:
“Apparently, the threat of losing access to Twitter is as serious as starting a family for some 🤣 Maybe they should just stick to tweeting and leave procreation out of it! 🐦🚫👶”

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Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • The food hits different when it ain’t yours.

    Commentary:
    Oh, the age-old wisdom of appreciating the forbidden fruit! 🍎🤣 That mysterious allure of someone else’s snack always seems to make it taste just a bit sweeter, doesn’t it? Just like how the neighbor’s grass always looks greener… and their lunch always looks yummier! 🍔😋 #FoodEnvy #TasteOfTemptation

  • Is the elephant in the room with us right now?

    Commentary:
    🐘🤔 “Is the elephant in the room with us right now?” Well, considering how big elephants are, if there was one in the room, we would definitely know… unless it’s hiding behind the curtains, wearing a disguise and practicing its stealth skills! 🤭🐘

  • Texting random numbers “It’s done.”

    Commentary:
    Breaking news: local prankster strikes again, masterfully executing the classic “It’s done” text to random numbers! 📱😄 Will the unsuspecting recipients fall for the mystery of the message, or decode the ultimate prank? Stay tuned for the thrilling sequel of “Random Number Roulette: The Sequel”! 🎉 #TextingAntics #MischiefManaged

  • You can’t spell fries without friends. I guess what I’m saying is that fries are friends. Delicious friends.

    Commentary:
    “Who needs a best friend when you can have a basket of fries by your side? 🍟👯‍♂️ Truly, fries are the unsung heroes of the culinary world, always there for you in times of hunger and craving. Remember, a fry in need is a friend indeed! 😉 #FriendshipGoals #FryDayEveryday”

  • God, never seen San Francisco this bad. Spiderwebs completely covering entire business, skeletons just strewn about sidewalks in every neighborhood. Things have got to change!

    Commentary:
    Looks like Spider-Man’s vacation home has truly taken over San Francisco 🕷️🕸️ Who knew skeletons were part of the city’s new sidewalk landscaping plan? 💀 Change is definitely needed, or else we might have to start giving out arachnid and anatomy tours! 🏙️ #SpookySanFran

  • I’m so toxic, I can fight for a relationship I don’t even want.

    Commentary:
    Well, if toxic relationships were an Olympic sport, you’d be a gold medalist in the “fighting for something you don’t even want” category. I mean, talk about dedication to the wrong cause! Maybe it’s time to switch gears and aim for a healthier, less combative relationship strategy.