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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇦🇺 has bookmarked:

(Most depressed guy you’ve ever met) I’m doing pretty good.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has bookmarked:

“Are you dating anyone?” I close my eyes when I walk past mirrors.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has shared:

My favorite thing to do is nothing.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has viewed:

Unfollowers, take me with you!

Someone from 🇮🇸 has downloaded:

Just emerged from my Y2K bunker. Everybody okay?

Someone from 🇨🇭 has bookmarked:

Returning to Twitter is like coming back to a dysfunctional family.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has viewed:

Adulthood is just saying “it is what it is,” and then crying in your car to a song from 2012.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

340 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,933

Funny Quotes Topics

17,106

Funny Quotes Images

14,933

Updated

Dec 14, 2025

Users Online

3,946

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Discord:

“Topless” doesn’t always mean breasts or a convertible. Sometimes it also means the brain.

Shared recently on WeChat:

Hear me out: agenda reveal parties for people we don’t trust.

Seen just now on TikTok:

I’m sorry I roasted you, I was trying to flirt.

Going bananas on Reddit:

I used to think I was indecisive, but I’m not so sure anymore.

Making waves on Pinterest:

I’m very loyal to whatever brand is on sale.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

I’m sorry I said “Awooga” when you took off your clothes. Do you still want to have sexy time?

Just shared via WeChat:

For a long time, I didn’t know what to do with my strange thoughts. Then I signed up for Facebook.

“Gen Z is having less sex.” It’s always sex, sex, sex with these people.

5 months ago

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Commentary:
Sounds like Gen Z is swiping left on procreation! 🚫📱👶

always, commentary, gen, Gen Z, generation, having, humor, less, people, sex, social, social commentary, stereotype, z

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

What if the universe wasn’t infinite or finite, but a secret third thing?

4 months ago

finite, humor, infinite, mystery, paradox, philosophy, secret, thing, third, universe
Getting older is realizing how great doing nothing is.

1 month ago

aging, doing, doing nothing, enjoyment, getting, great, humor, lessons, life, life lessons, nothing, older, relaxation, simplicity
People always talk about how they love to sit in their cars for a while once they get home. Whenever I do that, my Uber driver yells at me.

2 months ago

always, car, driver, home, humor, i, love, me, people, sit, talk, Uber, waiting, whenever, yell
I can’t believe I used to think I was stressed in high school.

1 month ago

adulthood, believe, disbelief, experience, high, high school, humor, i, life, life experience, school, stress, think, used
What base is it when he says, “I know you need it badly,” but he’s talking about sleep?

1 month ago

bedtime, double, double entendre, entendre, humor, i, joke, know, language, language joke, linguistics, need, sleep, talking, wordplay
You ran a half marathon? That’s really cool, I’ve almost finished a bunch of things, too.

1 month ago

achievement, activity, cool, finish, finished, fitness, half, humor, marathon, things, too

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇪 has viewed:

Fact: WhatsApp is the most boring app if you’re single.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has copied:

“Your password is too weak.” Just wait until you see my will to live.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has bookmarked:

So far, no one has seriously tried to bribe me, which is a shame because I am extremely corrupt. Maybe I need a position with more power.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has downloaded:

My toxic trait is thinking I can nap, then waking up 3 hours later in a parallel universe where I missed everything.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has shared:

People on diet aren’t mad at you. They’re mad at their lunch.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has downloaded:

Halloween is over and most people just keep on being creepy.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has downloaded:

A guy waited exactly 3 days to text me. Someone’s been studying the ancient scrolls of 1980s dating advice.

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Twitch:

She asked to see where the magic happens, so I showed her my sandwich maker.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

I mostly stopped responding to emails three years ago, and aside from various consequences, it’s been fine.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Men’s jeans have bigger pockets to help them carry all their audacity.

Spreading quickly via Slack:

My bad if I ever left you on read. I didn’t mean to open the message.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

The sexual tension between me and buying more books.

Seen just now on Twitch:

“I’ve been fantasizing about going back to bed since I woke up this morning.”

Going bananas on WeChat:

There should be a calorie refund for food that didn’t taste as good as you expected.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

“Gen Z is having less sex.” It’s always sex, sex, sex with these people.

What if the universe wasn’t infinite or finite, but a secret third thing?

Getting older is realizing how great doing nothing is.

People always talk about how they love to sit in their cars for a while once they get home. Whenever I do that, my Uber driver yells at me.

I can’t believe I used to think I was stressed in high school.

What base is it when he says, “I know you need it badly,” but he’s talking about sleep?

You ran a half marathon? That’s really cool, I’ve almost finished a bunch of things, too.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

I can’t believe bedtime used to be a punishment.

Anti-capitalism is just code for “I don’t know how anything works.”

Hello! I’m Britain’s greatest spy and my catchphrase is: I tell you my real surname, then my real forename, then my real surname again, in case you missed it.

A true friend is someone who thinks you’re a good egg, even though they know you’re slightly cracked.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

According to the BMI chart, I am too short.

And to my children, I leave 127 open tabs on Safari.

Therapy isn’t enough. I need a new identity and a passport.

Having siblings is so important because you learn the exact amount you can annoy someone before they try to physically kill you.

Is there anyone here old enough to remember when typing was a class in high school?

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

If your store’s bowl of water is just for pets, you should really put up a sign.

I’m really glad that light only attracts insects. Imagine wild boars would come knocking at your windows all the time.

Girls be like, “Baby, I have a great idea,” and it’s a trip you have to pay for.

If your wife uses “I” it means she will be doing something. “We” means you will be.

I love how all the movies about teenagers have to be set in the 90s or earlier otherwise we’d just be watching kids on their phones for two hours.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Talents: eating!

Everyone is getting pregnant or married, and I’m back to “What’s your favorite color?“

I was thinking of becoming self employed, but due to cutbacks, I can’t afford to hire me right now.

I’m so bored of being bored, because being bored is really boring.

My house was clean yesterday. Sorry, you missed it.

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“Gen Z is having less sex.” It’s always sex, sex, sex with these people.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

What if the universe wasn’t infinite or finite, but a secret third thing?

Getting older is realizing how great doing nothing is.

People always talk about how they love to sit in their cars for a while once they get home. Whenever I do that, my Uber driver yells at me.

I can’t believe I used to think I was stressed in high school.

What base is it when he says, “I know you need it badly,” but he’s talking about sleep?

You ran a half marathon? That’s really cool, I’ve almost finished a bunch of things, too.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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