22 funny taken quotes - Wordgag

The circus does not condone the actions being taken by its monkeys.

May 29, 2026

Handing over my ID at the post office. The clerk said, “You’ve aged quite a bit since this photo was taken.” I said, “Yes, I had it taken just before I joined this queue.”

May 28, 2026

I have no idea how dishwasher tablets work. I’ve already taken five of them, and I still don’t feel like doing the dishes!

May 28, 2026

I’ve never wrestled an angry alligator, but I have taken off a wet sports bra in the middle of summer. So, same thing.

May 28, 2026

I’ve taken a long, hard look at myself. I won’t be doing that again.

May 28, 2026

I’m at the age where I consider any picture of me taken in the last ten years “current.”

May 27, 2026

Terrifying if taken literally—if these walls could talk.

May 27, 2026

People who like sweet potato fries can’t be taken seriously and deserve shame and ridicule.

May 26, 2026

I wish my Fitbit could track all the steps I’ve taken trying to find where I put it.

May 26, 2026

They invented the word metallic, because irony was already taken.

May 24, 2026

They give smokers all those breaks to make up for the time taken off their lifespan.

May 24, 2026

I’m not joining no alternate Twitter app. If this gets taken down, I’m starting a family.

May 23, 2026

I don’t like how monkeys have taken ownership of the whole banana thing. I bet I like bananas almost as much as they do.

May 23, 2026

Silicon Valley has taken over the world. Remember when nerds had the good manners to be ashamed of themselves?

May 23, 2026

My wife’s resolution to yell at the kids less has just taken a very bad turn.

May 22, 2026

I now also have a device that tells me whether I’ve taken enough steps today. If I don’t make it one day, it barks and poops in my apartment.

May 22, 2026

My wife screamed “you haven’t listened to a single word I’ve said, have you?!” I was taken aback, what a weird way to start a conversation.

May 22, 2026

There’s someone in our team who behaves horribly to me and whenever I have to type his name, I’ve taken to using a slightly smaller font size than for everyone else’s.

May 21, 2026

HR has told me to stop saying ‘How stupid can you be?’ to members of staff. They’re worried it’s being taken as a challenge.

May 21, 2026

Sucks how every girl I’m interested in is either taken or has good taste in men.

May 20, 2026

Yeah, sex is cool, but have you ever taken an afternoon nap on the couch?

May 19, 2026

All strapless bras need to be taken off the shelves. A total recall. We do not have the technology yet.

May 18, 2026