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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇫🇯 has bookmarked:

I’m uncomfortable around tall people. What if they pick me up and put me on their shoulders?

Someone from 🇶🇦 has downloaded:

I’m just a Whole Foods girl on a Walmart budget.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has bookmarked:

Finally gathered all my thoughts and now they’re jumping me.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has downloaded:

When I say I’m tired, the “of people” is silent.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has bookmarked:

Odd people reviewing a dessert: It’s not too sweet which is what I like.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has downloaded:

Not really interested in anything that isn’t everything.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has shared:

Signatures are so unserious, just “pinky promise” for adults. Write your name in a silly little way on this very important piece of paper so we that we can send you to jail if you do anything wrong.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has shared:

People said follow your dreams, so I went back to bed.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has copied:

Single, not sure how to mingle.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has viewed:

The person opposite me has a donut. I do not have a donut. That should be my donut. This person is now my arch nemesis.

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

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17,766

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15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

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Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Threads:

It’s hard to sleep knowing that cake is in the fridge.

Just shared via Discord:

I don’t freak out until I see the Buddhists freaking out.

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

One thing I will never understand about adulthood is how I’m supposed to make appointments if I work full time and every place closes at 6 p.m.

Spotted on Facebook:

What if babies had two umbilical cords and if you cut the wrong one, it exploded?

Spotted on Twitch:

Girls these days are like a box of chocolates. Some have nuts.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Never in the history of calming down has anyone calmed down after being told to calm down.

Trending via Snapchat:

That pile of clothes on my bed, seems to have strange powers and gets higher on its own.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

Don’t worry. You’re exactly where you should be in life. Because you’ve made horrible choices.

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

I’m disgusted by the amount of nudity on Netflix these days. There’s hardly any. What am I even paying for?

Just shared via Slack:

Not now darling, mummy’s influencing on the www.

I’m not like other teenagers, I’m 51.

2 weeks ago

Funny Quotes

Humorous quote highlighting age humor with playful, witty text about being a 51-year-old teen.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Well, at least now you can blame your questionable fashion choices on being a rebellious teenager stuck in a middle-aged body!"

age, humor, life, life stage, perspective, self-deprecation, stage, teenager

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Social Media Stars ⭐

22 shares on Slack this month:

I wanna become so financially stable that God uses my pockets to bless others.

24 shares on Instagram this month:

I know you miss me. The tarot lady on TikTok just told me.

56 shares on X this month:

You can just make up words and if you say them in a Scottish accent, people will think they’re real: Looka the wee janglers on that tary bibbit.

24 shares on Snapchat this month:

Might lay here until someone draws my chalk outline.

31 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I lied, there’s no sex. Stand over there and tell me if this painting I’m hanging is straight.

73 shares on Facebook this month:

Fyi, if you like listening to “rain sounds,” they’re almost all recordings of chicken being fried.

42 shares on Facebook this month:

Before the internet, going viral meant your drawing made it to the fridge, and your sibling was furious.

48 shares on YouTube this month:

I made a smoothie that needs a spoon.

79 shares on Threads this month:

“Don’t shoot your gun at the hurricane” the government says. I’ll do my own research, thanks.

57 shares on WeChat this month:

Just found out it don’t matter how early I go to bed, I just don’t wanna go to work.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇿🇼 has shared:

Alcohol: When you want to run away from your problems without moving.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has downloaded:

I always stop the microwave before it beeps because it’s not the boss of me.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has shared:

Guy on the day of the 1918 armistice, walking around the trench, clapping, saying things like “Great work, everyone,” and “We did it, team.”

Someone from 🇵🇱 has viewed:

In a room full of art, I’d still stare at you.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has bookmarked:

My dating era has come to an end. I’d like to thank those who participated.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has downloaded:

I wish you could put your whole life on do not disturb.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has shared:

People who often talk to themselves are more intelligent than others. At least that’s what I tell myself.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has shared:

Microsoft Teams needs to add a “spank” reaction for when I want to reprimand my employees during a video call.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has viewed:

Libraries were a good start, but we really need to keep working on the number of places where people shouldn’t be allowed to talk.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has shared:

I can feel your energy from two planets away.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via WeChat:

Can drunk people actually not control their actions or is it just an excuse to do some crazy stuff?

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Yesterday I went to a fight and a baseball game broke out.

Going viral on Reddit:

Don’t feel bad if you don’t succeed on your first try. It took Michael Angelo sixteen chapels.

Going viral on Telegram:

Trust my gut? The thing that can’t even handle milk.

Just landed via Reddit:

I should’ve existed as a tree.

Live now on Pinterest:

Shoutout to coughing on the bus. Haven’t tried it myself but seems really popular.

Seen just now on Twitch:

My favorite thing to do is nothing.

Going viral on Pinterest:

Please don’t ever speak to me about math. I’ve moved on.

Seen just now on Telegram:

I’m sorry you had a bad experience at our restaurant. To make it up to you, here is a coupon for more of our terrible, terrible food.

Just landed via Facebook:

I am convinced that at least half of you are bots.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I’m not like other teenagers, I’m 51.

According to my Spotify Wrapped, I am what got played the most this year.

Don’t buy me flowers. A bouquet of KitKats will suffice.

I don’t want to alarm anyone, but there’s only 365 shopping days left until Christmas.

The sexiest thing a man can do is have a problem-solving mentality.

You should tell different people completely different things about yourself so that they then get into arguments when gossiping about you.

Stop roasting yourself, you’re not a marshmallow.

Social Media Stars ⭐

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Activity Log ✨

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I’m not like other teenagers, I’m 51.

Keep the laugh going 😂

According to my Spotify Wrapped, I am what got played the most this year.

Don’t buy me flowers. A bouquet of KitKats will suffice.

I don’t want to alarm anyone, but there’s only 365 shopping days left until Christmas.

The sexiest thing a man can do is have a problem-solving mentality.

You should tell different people completely different things about yourself so that they then get into arguments when gossiping about you.

Stop roasting yourself, you’re not a marshmallow.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨