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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇬 has copied:

Current relationship status: sleeping diagonally across the bed.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has downloaded:

Livin’ la vida vodka!

Someone from 🇮🇳 has downloaded:

The older I get, the more I love my morning coffee and no one speaking to me.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has bookmarked:

In banana years, I am bread.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has shared:

I’m at the age where I understand that paying a little extra for convenience and comfort is absolutely okay.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has copied:

Sorry, can you repeat what you said? I didn’t have my glasses on.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has shared:

Please twerk; I have just days left.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has downloaded:

Dude, we’re gonna be treating others how we want to be treated later if you wanna pull up.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has viewed:

My passport probably thinks I’m in prison.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has shared:

Avocado is just green butter.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,444

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Monday again. I just knew this would happen.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Always keep a bottle of wine in the fridge for special occasions. Like Wednesday.

Making waves on Instagram:

I haven’t cleaned my shower in so long, it’s becoming a terrarium. Absolutely gorgeous.

Just landed via Telegram:

You can’t fix stupid, but you can watch it in action on Facebook every day.

Live now on Messenger:

You looked so beautiful and combative as we were detained for questioning.

Going viral on Threads:

I’m not gonna have a bad day. The day is gonna have a bad me.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

I hope this email punches you square in the face.

Making waves on YouTube:

Sorry, I’m late. I took a walk around the world to ease my troubled mind.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Not many things sadder than an untickled fancy.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Hello, boyfriend? It’s me, girlfriend, from dating?

I’m saving money on rent by moving into an abandoned cobweb.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
I just hope your new roommates don't have too many legs! 🕸️🏠😂

abandoned, cobweb, humor, joke, money, moving, rent, saving, saving money

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Is he trying to pronounce “charcuterie” or is he having a stroke?

0

2 months ago

charcuterie, confusion, having, humor, language, pronounce, pronunciation, stroke, trying, words
Putting my Christmas tree up today. Big day for my cats.

0

2 months ago

activity, behavior, big, big day, cat, Christmas, Christmas tree, day, decoration, fun, fun activity, holiday, pet, pet behavior, today, tree
I’m having a bad day. Please send super-cute pics of your credit cards to cheer me up.

0

2 months ago

bad, bad day, card, cards, cheer, cheer up, credit, credit card, cute, cute pics, day, having, humor, joke, light-hearted, me, pics, send
Two mysterious people live in my house. “Somebody” and “Nobody.” Somebody did it and nobody knows who.

0

2 months ago

house, live, nobody, people, somebody
Absolute worst time of year to have a secret family. Hands down.

0

2 months ago

drama, family, family drama, hands, holiday, holiday stress, humor, secret, secret family, stress, time, worst, worst time, year
I think airplanes would be way cooler if the wings flapped like a bird.

0

2 months ago

airplane, aviation, bird, cooler, flight, flying, humor, i, think, whimsical, wings

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

54 shares on Slack this month:

At my age, “getting lucky” means walking into a room and remembering what you came in there for.

60 shares on X this month:

All I’m saying is that big burgers should be wider not taller.

28 shares on Telegram this month:

Americans saw water freeze at 0°C and said, “Let’s make that 32.”

90 shares on Telegram this month:

The rain is pouring. So naturally it’s a good day to eat 6 donuts.

88 shares on Threads this month:

You can be having the nicest day and then you have to print something and you know your day is about to fall apart real fast.

66 shares on WhatsApp this month:

An orgy where everyone looks identical is called a doppelgängerbänger.

96 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Women don’t pretend anymore to dig for something in their purse and then pull out their middle finger.

80 shares on TikTok this month:

Stop asking a clown why he keeps acting like a clown, ask yourself why you keep going to the circus.

79 shares on TikTok this month:

People who take naps are the real heroes. It takes courage to wake up twice in one day.

29 shares on Pinterest this month:

I hope some dyslexic people don’t mail Satan instead of Santa.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇧 has copied:

To be clear, when I said I was looking for “growth,” I meant in salary, not in workload and stress levels.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has viewed:

I bet the person who named the fireplace also named the waterfall.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has viewed:

Every house has a smell that only the people living in it don’t smell.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has viewed:

Anyone know which wine pairs well with societal collapse?

Someone from 🇱🇹 has bookmarked:

Caveman: I just invented the wheel. Journalist: Here’s why the wheel is bad for humanity.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has viewed:

I’m getting targeted ads about chin fat and I’m offended by the relevance.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has shared:

How do I tell Instagram I don’t want to see guys almost eaten by gators?

Someone from 🇱🇧 has bookmarked:

The way that we’re constantly told not to eat silica gel makes me suspect that it contains all the world’s forbidden knowledge.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has bookmarked:

What do you mean it’s Monday? We just had Monday. This can’t be right.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has downloaded:

Lying to stupid people can give you a profound sense of satisfaction, it can also make you president.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on LinkedIn:

A spoonful of peanut butter from the jar will fix me.

Making waves on Messenger:

So heartbreaking to do laundry and realize you can’t wash the clothes you’re literally wearing right now… you will never have a completely fresh start.

Going viral on WeChat:

What’s it called when you’re super insecure but, at the same time, you can walk into a room full of people and think you’re better than everyone else?

Making waves on Instagram:

I’m like the Temu version of a well-functioning adult.

Broadcasted on Facebook:

Eating the rest of the donuts will keep me from eating donuts tomorrow. My logic is flawless.

Seen just now on Threads:

Horoscope: You will give blood generously this week, but it won’t be your idea.

Making waves on Threads:

The biggest problem with finding another job is I don’t want one.

Live now on Threads:

My issue with Jeopardy is that you never get the sense that the contestants are in any real danger.

Shared recently on X:

If you respond to emails and Teams messages quickly, you can get away with basically anything at work.

Just shared via Reddit:

Asking for a donation like Wikipedia every time someone asks me a question.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I’m saving money on rent by moving into an abandoned cobweb.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Is he trying to pronounce “charcuterie” or is he having a stroke?

Putting my Christmas tree up today. Big day for my cats.

I’m having a bad day. Please send super-cute pics of your credit cards to cheer me up.

Two mysterious people live in my house. “Somebody” and “Nobody.” Somebody did it and nobody knows who.

Absolute worst time of year to have a secret family. Hands down.

I think airplanes would be way cooler if the wings flapped like a bird.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨