31 funny rent quotes - Wordgag

Had to sit with a straight face while my landlord told me I was paying his rent and mortgage for him.

May 30, 2026

Maximizing rent value by turning ‘homebody’ into an Olympic sport!

May 30, 2026

A guy who never leaves his apartment so he can get the maximum value out of his rent.

May 30, 2026

Unpopular opinion: Landlords should not be able to increase rent unless they’re upgrading the apartment.

May 29, 2026

Just paid my rent, now I have a warm place to starve in.

May 29, 2026

Asking my landlord if he has any Cyber Monday deals.

May 29, 2026

Paid my rent and slept in every room of my house this week, kitchen and laundry room next.

May 29, 2026

My cat runs a secret cult. I just pay the rent.

May 28, 2026

My cat, who has no job and pays no rent, is apparently unhappy with his fancy new cat food, and I, for some reason, am currently on my way back to the store to rectify the matter.

May 27, 2026

Landlord: I’m raising your rent. Me: Am I getting a bigger house?

May 27, 2026

How is rent for 28 days the same amount as for 31 days? Where is my change?

May 25, 2026

If you see my account doing wild or out-of-character things, no worries. It’s not me, I routinely rent it out as an Airbnb.

May 25, 2026

Unfortunately, the movie you want to watch is unavailable on your 13 streaming services. You can rent it for $2.99 though.

May 25, 2026

Born to be a Jedi spinning a lightsaber, forced to work full-time and pay rent.

May 24, 2026

They should let you spend one night in a house before you buy/rent it, just to make sure it’s haunted.

May 23, 2026

If the universe is continuing to expand then why does my rent keep going up?

May 23, 2026

Just paid rent. Now I have a place to starve in.

May 23, 2026

November should have one more day. Just because to me November 31st sounds real. And also I don’t want to pay rent tomorrow.

May 23, 2026

I am cool with January lasting forever because rent is due February 1.

May 22, 2026

The only thing that has grown faster than rents in recent years is the overtime we have to work to pay them.

May 22, 2026

I need one of those jobs they have in sitcoms, where it pays my rent but interferes with exactly zero of my social plans or situations.

May 22, 2026

I let my cat smell every wine I drink so she can get a job as a sommelier and help pay my rent.

May 22, 2026

I’m saving money on rent by moving into an abandoned cobweb.

May 21, 2026

Went to the grocery store hungry. I didn’t need to pay rent this month anyway.

May 21, 2026

This chapter of my life is called ‘at least the rent is paid’

May 20, 2026

Rent really don’t make no sense. Like, why is my apartment getting a raise every year? Who is doing the performance review?

May 20, 2026

Remind the demons under your bed that you’re the landlord, raise the rent.

May 20, 2026

Once you start paying rent, every joke stops being funny.

May 20, 2026

Tired of my landlord depending on my rent. Bro, get a job.

May 19, 2026

Does anyone want to fall in love and split rent with me?

May 19, 2026

Anyone want to fall in love and split rent?

May 19, 2026