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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇫🇯 has viewed:

The most incredible thing about James Bond is the way he can walk into any hotel room and immediately know how to use the shower.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has copied:

There are only two kinds of people, and I avoid them both.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has downloaded:

Nostalgia isn’t as good as it used to be.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has bookmarked:

I’m so thankful I had a childhood before technology took over.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has shared:

Life is a highway: Too many cars, not enough bathrooms.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has viewed:

I don’t know what’s more fun—grocery shopping or making the old men blush by asking if these melons look ripe.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has downloaded:

Everybody has a girlfriend and a boyfriend, and I’m over here like “I love food”.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has viewed:

“It’s the most wonderful crime of the year!” I crooned running away with the pot of Santa’s donations.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has downloaded:

They invented the word metallic, because irony was already taken.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has viewed:

Having now listened to the entire song, I have to say there’s some obvious internal disagreement as to what the Hokey Pokey is all about.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

1834 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

11,996

Funny Quotes Topics

14,796

Funny Quotes Images

11,996

Updated

4 minutes ago

Users Online

3,437

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Threads:

I can turn wine into water about two hours after drinking it. Checkmate Jesus.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Unsolicited sandwich pics.

Going viral on Facebook:

My phone and it’s charger are in a situationship and sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn’t.

Going viral on X:

I used to be able to eat whatever I wanted without gaining weight. Now I pick up a fork and gain seven pounds.

Just shared via Telegram:

I don’t have bad handwriting, I’m just using my own font.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

You are what you eat! (If anyone needed more encouragement to eat the rich.)

Seen just now on Twitch:

Your life can’t fall apart if you never had it together.

Shared recently on Twitch:

That awkward moment, when all eyes are on the bride, but your son is the groom.

Making waves on TikTok:

When life gives you lemons, give them back and ask what the crap is all about.

Spotted on WeChat:

I just hit the back arrow on a website, and it took me to a page that said, “Before you leave.” No. I already made the decision.

I’m shocked it offended you, I was certain someone was gonna need to explain it to you.

I’m shocked it offended you, I was certain someone was gonna need to explain it to you.
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Commentary:
"Well, there goes my faith in your ability to comprehend sarcasm 🤨. Maybe next time I should include a 'sarcasm for dummies' guide along with my comments 📚😂."

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

1834 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

11,996

Funny Quotes Topics

14,796

Funny Quotes Images

11,996

Updated

4 minutes ago

Users Online

3,431

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇱 has bookmarked:

Short men store so much anger in their little body.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has viewed:

Waiting patiently for something good to happen, like that goat in Jurassic Park.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has viewed:

I always bring a glass of water to bed with me so I have something to knock over in the middle of the night.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has copied:

I’m nearly qualified to be a weaver. My final exam is looming.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has bookmarked:

Occupation: the ugly friend!

Someone from 🇲🇲 has downloaded:

As an academic, I sometimes dream about writing fiction instead, and then I remember grant proposals.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has downloaded:

How silly of me to forget that I am the love of my life.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has bookmarked:

According to your ex, what’s exactly wrong with you?

Someone from 🇸🇰 has bookmarked:

Just blocked a guy for accusing me of being “all talk”. On Twitter.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has shared:

Show me another rule so I can break that one too.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Discord:

Spotify Wrapped isn’t enough, I want an Excel spreadsheet of my listening habits.

Spreading quickly via Threads:

I was actually doing so well until your email found me.

Shared recently on Telegram:

What if they close grocery stores and we have to hunt for our food? I don’t even know where the little gummy bears live.

Going viral on Threads:

WhatsApp calls should indicate whose internet is poor to avoid unnecessary arguments.

Just shared via Pinterest:

Why do plane tickets have to be so expensive? You’re literally going that way anyway. Just give me a ride.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Your coworkers are your friends; stop working and hang out.

Shared recently on Threads:

Unfortunately, I will continue to get sexier and funnier.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

After you do your laundry, you should be allowed to get in the dryer and tumble for a little. No charge.

Shared recently on WeChat:

My nutritionist told me wine doesn’t count as a fruit source so now I need to find a different nutritionist.

Trending via Threads:

Stick with me and you’ll go places. None of them good, but still.

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