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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log โœจ

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ซ๐Ÿ‡ท has shared:

Your problems are neither sexual nor spiritual, they are gastrointestinal.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡จ๐Ÿ‡ณ has viewed:

Watched Titanic for the 14th time. Still sobbing. Still yelling, โ€œSCOOT OVER, COW!โ€ like itโ€™ll change the ending.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฑ๐Ÿ‡ป has copied:

I hate when the iPhone corrects ‘Omw’ to ‘On my way!’. Man, I am not that excited.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ต๐Ÿ‡ผ has viewed:

Due to circumstances beyond my control, I am at work.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ธ has copied:

You arenโ€™t from the Midwest unless you can spin out in the snow, regain control and keep driving like nothing happened.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ง๐Ÿ‡ง has bookmarked:

I think it’s clear that companies making medicine have no idea what fruits taste like.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡ง has copied:

Anyone want to fall in love and split rent?

Funny Quotes Data ๐Ÿค“

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330 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,923

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17,095

Funny Quotes Images

14,923

Updated

Dec 12, 2025

Users Online

3,880

Social Media Log ๐Ÿ’ซ

Just shared via Twitch:

Hey, I’ve been thinking, and I think you should think for me.

Spotted on Threads:

A good rule to remember for life is that when it comes to plastic surgery and sushi, never be attracted by a bargain.

Just landed via Discord:

One of the voices in my head brought up an excellent point, so obviously he had to go.

Just shared via Pinterest:

Lately I have the attention span of wait what?

Freshly posted on X:

My father didn’t want kids, so he had two kids, which was the equivalent of zero kids at the time.

Just landed via X:

A Monday every week is excessive.

Making waves on Snapchat:

The second date is you watching me parallel park and trying not to have a stroke.

I’m so toxic, I can fight for a relationship I don’t even want.

I’m so toxic, I can fight for a relationship I don’t even want.
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Commentary:
Well, if toxic relationships were an Olympic sport, you'd be a gold medalist in the "fighting for something you don't even want" category. I mean, talk about dedication to the wrong cause! Maybe it's time to switch gears and aim for a healthier, less combative relationship strategy.

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Funny Quotes Data ๐Ÿค“

New Funny Quotes

330 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,923

Funny Quotes Topics

17,095

Funny Quotes Images

14,923

Updated

Dec 12, 2025

Users Online

4,017

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Activity Log โœจ

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡พ has downloaded:

Bartenders be like “here’s that receipt, I’ll go ahead and put it on the wettest part of the bar”.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ณ๐Ÿ‡ท has viewed:

Working out consistently yields results, but mannnnnnnโ€ฆโ€ฆ the laundry.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฒ๐Ÿ‡ฉ has copied:

May your life one day be as beautiful as you portray it on social media.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฑ๐Ÿ‡ฎ has bookmarked:

If youโ€™re reading this, drink some water. Youโ€™re not a cactus.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฉ๐Ÿ‡ฒ has bookmarked:

Is it healthier to drink tap water and let the fluoride calcify my pineal gland or drink bottled spring water and let micro plastics settle in my balls?

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฆ๐Ÿ‡ท has viewed:

These days I just accept the website cookies without any protest. Website is like Grandma, Iโ€™m not gonna fight with you.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฆ๐Ÿ‡ด has downloaded:

Subtitles are for when youโ€™re eating chips.

Social Media Log ๐Ÿ’ซ

Just landed via X:

Started from the bottom, now we a little bit above the bottom.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

The rule should be: if you can smell the cookout, youโ€™re invited to the cookout.

Breaking via Twitch:

Why do chefs always have to cut everything so fast? It’s just an onion man, why don’t you relax?

Going viral on Twitch:

The dumbest thing about YouTube ads is how they seem to think that I’m a moron.

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

I had the most impatient and rudest cashier. Iโ€™m never using self-checkout again.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

When the executioner asks me what my final words are, Iโ€™m just going to start filibustering.

Shared recently on Telegram:

Zombies started running in movies and life has been chaotic since.

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