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Commentary:
"Because when it comes to crisis management, women and children are the pros at getting out of dodge while the men finally have some peace and quiet to brainstorm… or so they think! 🚺🧒🧑🏻‍🦰🧔🏻💭💡"

being, children, disaster, evacuation, humor, men, peace, solution, think, women

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I want to make you say, “Oh God,” in a way that makes God nervous.

4 months ago

expression, flirtation, God, humor, i, nervous, oh, say, surprise, want
Where does everyone go to get kisses? I haven’t figured this out yet.

5 months ago

confusion, everyone, humor, i, kiss, kisses, love, question, relationship, where
One of the biggest struggles of being an adult is deciding what to make for supper. Every. Single. Night.

1 month ago

adult, being, challenge, decision, dinner, every, everyday, everyday challenge, humor, night, nightly, single, struggle, struggles
I wish I loved anything as much as my two year old loves pulling my pants down.

2 months ago

affection, child, funny moment, humor, i, love, moment, old, pants, parenting, toddler, wish, year
I’m not super into getting older but I do like how nobody asks me to help them move anymore.

2 months ago

adulthood, aging, funny observation, getting, getting older, help, humor, i, me, move, nobody, observation, older, responsibility, super
I’m trying to quit making sexual innuendos but it’s so hard.

1 month ago

comedy, hard, humor, innuendo, joke, making, quit, sexual, sexuality, struggle, trying

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Someone from 🇬🇩 has viewed:

Sorry I can’t have a pleasant, safe and affordable life, my government said no.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has downloaded:

By the power vested in me by Facebook, I now pronounce you unfriended and restricted. You may now kiss my butt.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has bookmarked:

If a vegetarian who eats fish is a pescatarian, is a vegetarian who eats chicken called a poultrygeist?

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I am the opposite of artificial intelligence. I am authentic stupidity.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has shared:

Opening a Star Wars pub called Bar Bar Binks.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has copied:

I end all my sentences with “Just saying..” because ending them with “You bonehead..” would probably be considered offensive.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has shared:

Called in, “If we’re living in a simulation, just simulate that I’m in the office today.”

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

I will never understand people who don’t gasp dramatically at rainbows.

Just shared via Threads:

What you call “Brunch” I call “Breakfast for Alcoholics.”

Spotted on Telegram:

My bed has a stronger influence on me than my ambitions.

Making waves on X:

“I thought it might be nice to go around the room and have everyone introduce themselves, including a fun fact.” You thought wrong.

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

Everyone says “Do what makes you happy”, until you push them down the stairs.

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In case of a disaster, women and children are being evacuated first so men can think about a solution in peace.

I want to make you say, “Oh God,” in a way that makes God nervous.

Where does everyone go to get kisses? I haven’t figured this out yet.

One of the biggest struggles of being an adult is deciding what to make for supper. Every. Single. Night.

I wish I loved anything as much as my two year old loves pulling my pants down.

I’m not super into getting older but I do like how nobody asks me to help them move anymore.

I’m trying to quit making sexual innuendos but it’s so hard.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

There are two quantities of popcorn: not enough and what have I done

Americans can choose from over 1,000 breakfast cereals but only two presidential candidates?

Not many quicksand-related deaths since the 1970s. Thank God the authorities got that nightmare under control.

I get it dogs, I wish I could also bark at strangers approaching my house.

What part of “hiii” do you not get? I’m in love with you.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Whenever someone says “Per ChatGPT” or “ChatGPT says,” I look at them like they just consulted a magic 8 ball because, please, stop playing with me.

(at an incredibly low point in my life) I should start dating again.

No revenge, but I hope you stutter every time you try to dirty talk with someone.

The best part about having a crush is when they crush all your hopes and dreams.

Another day of waking up cute instead of wealthy, so I guess I have to go to work.

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Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Stretching my back isn’t enough; I need to take out my spine and wring it out like a towel.

Microdosing hell by checking the web every day.

Gambling is all about getting something for nothing and spending thousands of dollars trying to do it.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Can’t wait for my husband to see what he bought everyone for Christmas.

Wow, this was a really long day of playing on my phone.

Introducing WifeChat™, the app where you talk to your wife.

You’re telling me this moron’s on oxy.

My life is based on a true story.

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In case of a disaster, women and children are being evacuated first so men can think about a solution in peace.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

I want to make you say, “Oh God,” in a way that makes God nervous.

Where does everyone go to get kisses? I haven’t figured this out yet.

One of the biggest struggles of being an adult is deciding what to make for supper. Every. Single. Night.

I wish I loved anything as much as my two year old loves pulling my pants down.

I’m not super into getting older but I do like how nobody asks me to help them move anymore.

I’m trying to quit making sexual innuendos but it’s so hard.

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