Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇲 has bookmarked:

Of course, I also put my mobile down from time to time. For example, when someone tries to call me.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has viewed:

Being gracefully insane is the secret to a happy life.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has downloaded:

“Just be yourself”—that has gotten me mixed results in the past.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has viewed:

Home is where you trust the toilet seat.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has copied:

My phone charger is lying in another room. HELP.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has copied:

If you need me, I will be at the library sniffing old books.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has downloaded:

Getting a boner because the Lego instructions are telling me what to do.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

330 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,923

Funny Quotes Topics

17,095

Funny Quotes Images

14,923

Updated

Dec 12, 2025

Users Online

3,699

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Discord:

Any jar is a swear jar when the lid won’t open.

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

My favorite delusion is that I just need to get through this week.

Trending via Snapchat:

If cats could text you back, they wouldn’t.

Broadcasted on Telegram:

I hate Valentine’s Day but I do enjoy infant archery.

Making waves on Pinterest:

We have decided to sell the house. How long do you think it will take for our landlord to find out?

Just landed via Instagram:

My life is just a series of awkward moments separated by snacks.

Seen just now on YouTube:

Venting to ChatGPT is crazy, y’all turning schizophrenic.

It’s okay if you don’t like me, not everyone has good taste.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Oh, don't worry if you don't like me, sweetie. Not everyone can handle this fabulousness 💁‍♀️👑 #sorrynotsorry"

confidence, everyone, good, humor, me, okay, opinion, self-esteem, taste

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

What if they close grocery stores and we have to hunt for our food? I don’t even know where the little gummy bears live.

1 month ago
bear, close, even, food, food source, funny thought, grocery, grocery store, gummy, gummy bear, humor, hunt, i, know, little, live, source, store, stores, survival, thought, where
Too many toilets have automatically flushed underneath me for me not to have reservations about self-driving cars.

1 month ago
automation, car, cars, fear, flush, humor, me, reservations, self-driving, self-driving car, technology, toilet, toilets
I’m at the age when riding around town, I say, “When did they build that?”

4 months ago
age, around, build, i, memory, riding, say, surprise, town
Fun prank: make people study for many years, and then don’t give them jobs.

1 month ago
career, education, fun, give, humor, irony, job, jobs, joke, people, prank, study
I was told to be more optimistic so I’ve decided french fries aren’t bad for me.

1 month ago
bad, diet, food, french, french fry, fry, humor, i, me, optimism, optimistic, positivity, self-deception, told
Stop dating if you have no car.

3 months ago
advice, car, dating, humor, relationship, stop

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇩 has bookmarked:

I love saying “sounds good” at work, and no shit be sounding good.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has shared:

Either the tables are going to turn, or I’m going to flip them.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has bookmarked:

Moose would have been a better name for a cow.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has bookmarked:

My favorite condiment is Worcestershire sauce. Why? It’s hard to say.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has copied:

Accidentally wore a blue shirt to Walmart and now I’m in the stockroom showing Sue how to use the forklift.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has bookmarked:

Sometimes you just gotta say LOL and move on.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has downloaded:

Shout out to all the experts on the web who know everything there is to know about absolutely everything.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Reddit:

What age do you learn to cook pasta for one and not for a whole village? Asking for a friend.

Going viral on Telegram:

Every Friday, I’m like, “This weekend I’m getting my life together,” and then… I don’t.

Making waves on Slack:

WW3: I can’t fire my weapon unless I first watch a 15-second unskippable ad for Raid Shadow Legends.

Just landed via Twitch:

The best part of having a failing memory is that you can wrap up presents for yourself, and when it comes time to open them, you are honestly surprised.

Breaking via LinkedIn:

Instead of writing letters, let’s wait a week before texting each other back so it still feels like it.

Breaking via Facebook:

Either you’re violently frolicking with me or you’re violently frolicking against me.

Spotted on Snapchat:

Can we not just call it Zealand now?

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

It’s okay if you don’t like me, not everyone has good taste.

What if they close grocery stores and we have to hunt for our food? I don’t even know where the little gummy bears live.

Too many toilets have automatically flushed underneath me for me not to have reservations about self-driving cars.

I’m at the age when riding around town, I say, “When did they build that?”

Fun prank: make people study for many years, and then don’t give them jobs.

I was told to be more optimistic so I’ve decided french fries aren’t bad for me.

Stop dating if you have no car.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Wrapping gifts on the floor after 50: 1% holiday spirit, 99% figuring out how to stand up without calling for help.

Not all angels are in heaven, me for example, I’m at work.

I’ve saved every episode of Hoarders.

I don’t want to “act young”. I just can’t be as “grown up” as others my age.

I don’t always have time to fold laundry, but when I do, I don’t.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Movies in the 80s had me convinced that a main part of being a grown-up was staying late at the office and eating Chinese takeout.

Everyone’s worried about a recession, but babes, we’re heading for a dark age.

My husband loves it when he orders fries, I say I don’t want any, and then I swoop in on his like a seagull at the beach.

My favourite yoga pose is the one where you lay really still and do nothing.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Husband said he only wants to allow our kids to watch Looney Tunes and nothing else because of the “moral lessons”.

Just as “magic spells” use special rhymes and archaic terms to signal their power, the convoluted language of legalese acts to convey a sense of authority.

I hope Google never goes down. I know like six, maybe seven, things.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

If I ever die on some hill, rest assured, something fishy is going on.

Channeling my inner pretzel to achieve expert-level bad posture.

The word abbreviation sure is long for what it means.

As long as I can dip something in something, I’m happy.

Adulting is realizing you can’t skip work like you skipped school.

Activity Log ✨

Share Wordgag 🙏

Activity Log ✨

It’s okay if you don’t like me, not everyone has good taste.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

What if they close grocery stores and we have to hunt for our food? I don’t even know where the little gummy bears live.

Too many toilets have automatically flushed underneath me for me not to have reservations about self-driving cars.

I’m at the age when riding around town, I say, “When did they build that?”

Fun prank: make people study for many years, and then don’t give them jobs.

I was told to be more optimistic so I’ve decided french fries aren’t bad for me.

Stop dating if you have no car.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Share Wordgag 🙏