Monday has a personal vendetta against my happiness.

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If we get invaded by space aliens, I am immediately defecting to the alien side. Sorry.

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On the upside, my kids are helping with the dishes. On the downside, my kids are helping with the dishes.

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Perhaps we should have further developed natural intelligence before venturing into artificial intelligence.

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Look, 80’s kids went from Inspector Gadget to Terminator so we have a lot of mixed feelings about technology.

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Saturdays are for doing absolutely everything or doing absolutely nothing, everybody knows that.

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I would love to be the reason you look at your phone and smile. Then walk into a wall.

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House sitting for friends while they’re out of town. Never knew my buddy kept a diary.

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89% of the time when my husband tells me I look great, what he really means is, “We needed to leave five minutes ago.”

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When you have the money, you can go a whole day without eating. But when you’re broke, the dizziness starts at 6 a.m.

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Sunsets and women are undoubtedly God’s best creations.