Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇹 has copied:

If I ever get the death penalty, I hope “by chocolate” is an option.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has shared:

When someone says “I don’t want a relationship right now” the “at least not with you” is silent.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has bookmarked:

Unfortunately, you have to almost worship the ground I walk on for me to believe you’re into me.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has viewed:

I won’t rest until a cure for insomnia is found.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has bookmarked:

“A healthy lifestyle is all about balance,” I say as I drive through Taco Bell after working out.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has bookmarked:

Don’t give up, keep going. There are still so many disappointments waiting for you.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has viewed:

Genies are a myth perpetuated by creepy lamps who just want to get rubbed more.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has viewed:

Double chins are better than double faces.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has copied:

This year has been the perfect blend of me losing my mind and having the time of my life.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has copied:

The pigeons are plotting to overthrow the government. It will start with a coo.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,574

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on WeChat:

You can get addicted to a certain kind of swagness.

Going viral on Instagram:

The quickest way to get your kid to do their homework is to ask them to help with some chores.

Spotted on Telegram:

I hate having a messy house. Not enough to actually clean it, but enough to give it a disgusted stare while I peacefully relax on the couch.

Shared recently on TikTok:

Dear diary, sorry for only ever talking about myself. How are you? Do you have any hobbies?

Shared recently on Discord:

Having children is like living in a frat house – nobody sleeps, everything’s broken, and there’s a lot of throwing up.

Making waves on Discord:

Just did my own taxes, I should be in jail by Friday.

Spotted on Twitch:

Normalize having a threatening aura, but really just being a sweetheart.

Going bananas on Discord:

Life is weird and then you die.

Just shared via Discord:

screenshotting people’s close friends and posting it directly to my own story.

Live now on Threads:

If porn damages your brain, and writing develops your brain, does writing porn even it out?

Most people think that I’m arrogant, but who cares what peasants think.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
When your ego's bigger than your WiFi bill but who needs connection when you're royalty 👑😂

arrogance, confidence, disregard, ego, humor, most, peasant, peasants, people, pride, think

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Trying to eat with my left hand because I need a little excitement in my life.

0

2 months ago

challenge, daily, daily life, eat, eating, excitement, hand, humor, i, left, left hand, life, little, need, trying
I’m not an early bird or a night owl, I’m some sort of permanently exhausted pigeon.

0

3 months ago

bird, early, early bird, exhausted, exhaustion, humor, night, night owl, owl, pigeon, sort, tired
My cat, who has no job and pays no rent, is apparently unhappy with his fancy new cat food, and I, for some reason, am currently on my way back to the store to rectify the matter.

0

2 months ago

am, apparently, back, cat, dissatisfaction, fancy, food, household, humor, i, irony, job, luxury, matter, new, owner, pet, reason, rent, shopping, store, unhappy
Shuffling into the kitchen in a robe Sunday morning to change the clock on the microwave is the lamest form of time travel ever.

0

2 months ago

change, clock, domestic, domestic life, ever, form, humor, kitchen, laziness, life, microwave, morning, robe, Sunday, Sunday morning, time, time travel, travel
Camping: When you spend a small fortune to live like somebody poor.

0

2 months ago

adventure, camping, fortune, humor, irony, live, outdoor, poor
“Are you busy tomorrow?” My dear, that entirely depends on the rest of the information you’re about to give me.

0

2 months ago

busy, communication, depends, give, humor, information, me, planning, question, relationship, rest, schedule, tomorrow

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

90 shares on TikTok this month:

I’m so sick of TV shows and movies where there are no likable characters. I don’t need to spend an hour with people I hate, I already have my life.

72 shares on Facebook this month:

Dogs can’t talk and everyone loves them. Coincidence? I think not.

72 shares on TikTok this month:

Every family needs a delusional daughter who is ambitious about relieving all her family’s struggles solely by winning the lottery one day.

59 shares on Twitch this month:

Jehovah’s Witnesses tell the worst knock knock jokes.

78 shares on Messenger this month:

Europeans read a lot because their television shows suck.

33 shares on Pinterest this month:

Life stopped being real after 2019 anyways.

94 shares on Snapchat this month:

I would only enjoy the Met Gala if at the end of that runway they all walked into a volcano.

81 shares on Slack this month:

I miss whatever age I was when I thought five dollars was a lot of money.

21 shares on Pinterest this month:

You wear a white shirt and all of a sudden everybody wants to go eat spaghetti.

57 shares on Instagram this month:

After overthinking about it for 6 hours, I have decided that it’s actually not that big of a deal.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇰 has copied:

Why is adulthood just bills and wondering what to eat?

Someone from 🇧🇬 has shared:

Lost my job to AI (my job was to be loudly and confidently incorrect).

Someone from 🇵🇹 has bookmarked:

Having to write cover letters is so dumb. Do you really believe my dream ever since I was a little girl was to work for you? No. It was to ride a pony on a funky space rainbow. Grow up.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has shared:

Instead of renting an apartment, I’m going to save up for a lighthouse and go insane in it.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has downloaded:

Unfortunately most of my sex noises come from trying to get out of bed.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has viewed:

I voted for the candidate on the last yard sign I saw before pulling in. Slow children at play will lead us into the future.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has downloaded:

I love being home and doing absolutely nothing and never contributing to society.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has shared:

At this point, if you buy Tesla, everyone is just going to assume you are a loser.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has viewed:

No one told me middle age would be so fuzzy, and if you are wondering whether I mean my eyesight or my facial hair, yes.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has bookmarked:

Don’t be part of the problem. Be all of it.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Instagram:

When you realize a 9 to 5 is actually an 8 to 7, since you cannot teleport to work.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Flossed the day before a dentist appointment like I was cramming for a history test.

Trending via YouTube:

That awkward moment, when all eyes are on the bride, but your son is the groom.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Fun fact: The US was originally not meant to be a reality TV show.

Making waves on Instagram:

The Bloodhound Gang were very special because its music for 12-year-old boys, but every reference requires you to be 40 years old.

Going viral on YouTube:

As I’m cleaning my room, this is a friendly reminder that you actually don’t need that free t-shirt or tote bag from that event.

Trending via WeChat:

My boss wants me to train some other employees so it’s pretty obvious he has no idea I am completely incompetent.

Breaking via TikTok:

Got electrocuted while fixing the doorbell, and now I can hear my girlfriend’s thoughts. She’s thinking she should have called an electrician.

Just landed via Messenger:

Tiime isn’t on my side, it’s on my face, wrinkling my forehead.

Broadcasted on Threads:

I sexually identify as a microwave dinner, because I am ready in 5 minutes, look nothing like my photos, and I’m just satisfying enough for you to want me again when you’re desperate.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Most people think that I’m arrogant, but who cares what peasants think.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Trying to eat with my left hand because I need a little excitement in my life.

I’m not an early bird or a night owl, I’m some sort of permanently exhausted pigeon.

My cat, who has no job and pays no rent, is apparently unhappy with his fancy new cat food, and I, for some reason, am currently on my way back to the store to rectify the matter.

Shuffling into the kitchen in a robe Sunday morning to change the clock on the microwave is the lamest form of time travel ever.

Camping: When you spend a small fortune to live like somebody poor.

“Are you busy tomorrow?” My dear, that entirely depends on the rest of the information you’re about to give me.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨