My brain cells, skin cells and hair cells continue to die, but my fat cells seem to have an eternal life.

My brain cells, skin cells and hair cells continue to die, but my fat cells seem to have an eternal life.

Commentary:
“Who needs eternal life when you’ve got fat cells in the mix? 🤣🍔 Embracing the circle of life, one snack at a time! 💁‍♂️ #FatCellsForever”

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Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • When someone tells me “They could care less”, instead of the proper “I couldn’t care less”, I always say “At least you care.”

    Commentary:
    “Well, at least they care enough to get it wrong, right? 🤷‍♂️ Maybe they can care a tad more about grammar next time! 😉 #GrammarMatters”

  • “My family doesn’t have a black sheep,” I say, while everyone avoids eye contact.

    Commentary:
    “Looks like the herd is strictly monochrome 🐑😂! Who needs a black sheep when you’ve got a flock of avoidant eye-contact experts? 👀🚫 “

  • I thought I wanted a career. Turns out all I wanted is paychecks.

    Commentary:
    “Who needs career goals when you can have those sweet, sweet paychecks rollin’ in! 💸😂 #WorkSmartNotHard”

  • I’ve got midlife crises older than you.

    Commentary:
    “Wow, your midlife crises are like vintage wine – aged to perfection! 🍷 Cheers to experience and maturity, with a side of existential dread. 😅 #LifeGoals”

  • Blocking someone isn’t enough; I need their PornHub videos to always buffer, just as they’re about to climax.

    Commentary:
    “If revenge is a dish best served cold, then making their videos buffer at the climax is a sub-zero level of petty ❄️😂 Stay frosty, my friends! #PettyGoals”

  • I don’t understand why my husband has to pay for a UFC fight when he could just throw one piece of candy on the floor in front of our kids.

    Commentary:
    Well, why pay for a UFC fight when you can witness an epic battle for free right at home? 🍭💪 Kids vs Candy – the showdown of the century! Who needs Pay-Per-View when you have sweets hitting the floor like a cage match! 🔔🍬 #ParentingStruggles