56 funny fat quotes - Wordgag

If dogs ever learn to talk, I want everyone to keep in mind that mine is a big fat liar.

May 21, 2026

If I had a dollar for every time someone called me fat, I’d probably just spend it on more bacon.

May 20, 2026

That’s not fat. It’s bonus content.

May 20, 2026

Called off work. Feeling fat and wearing jeans.

May 20, 2026

Why isn’t there a mosquito that sucks fat?

May 20, 2026

I’m getting targeted ads about chin fat and I’m offended by the relevance.

May 20, 2026

My brain cells, skin cells and hair cells continue to die, but my fat cells seem to have an eternal life.

May 20, 2026

There’s a fat man inside me dying to get out.

May 20, 2026

I’m not fat. I’m just easy to see.

May 20, 2026

I’m not getting fatter. I’m increasing my content.

May 20, 2026

My new diet plan is to hibernate and live off all this fat I’ve accumulated.

May 20, 2026

I found there was only one way to look thin: hang out with fat people.

May 20, 2026

Psychiatry is crazy because they’re just like… Oh, you’re really depressed? Would being on a pill that makes you fat help?

May 19, 2026

Imagine hating me, and I’m just over here playing with my arm fat.

May 19, 2026

It’s funny how drinking 8 cups of water a day seems impossible, but 7 beers and 5 shots in two hours go down like a fat kid on a seesaw.

Apr 1, 2026

December turns me into someone who believes a fat man with a beard can fix everything.

Apr 1, 2026

Guess I’ll be getting the same thing for Christmas, again. Fat!

Apr 1, 2026

I’ve been thinking. Is ‘fat’ short for anything? Like an old word or something?

Apr 1, 2026

I knew school was a scam when my business teacher didn’t own a business, and my PE teacher was fat.

Mar 31, 2026

I wish pets lived longer, and life wasn’t so expensive, and cake didn’t make you fat, and people weren’t twats.

Mar 31, 2026

Eating rice with my hands, but not in a political way. In a lazy, fat guy way.

Mar 31, 2026

I’m gonna dress how I want this summer, and if you think I’m fat, well, so do I.

Mar 31, 2026

This salad tastes like I’d rather be fat.

Mar 31, 2026

When people suck the life out of you, they should take some fat too.

Mar 30, 2026

My IQ used to be higher than my weight, but now I’m fat and dumb.

Mar 30, 2026

I love eating fast food and getting big and fat. It’s amazing.

Mar 30, 2026

I’m fat because I’m full of experiences, and most of those experiences took place at Mexican restaurants.

Mar 30, 2026

If you feel fat and sad just know it’s someone out there fatter than you.

Mar 29, 2026

Cannabis has many benefits. For example, it makes you retarded. But in addition, it also makes you lazy. No worries though, it also makes you fat and insane.

Mar 29, 2026

I replaced my old flat pillow that hurt my neck with a new fat fluffy pillow that hurts my neck.

Mar 29, 2026

Eat whatever you want. If someone calls you fat, eat them too.

Mar 29, 2026

I think the world is ready for a fat James Bond.

Mar 29, 2026

Call a girl beautiful 1000 times and she won’t notice. Call her fat once and she will never forget. That’s because elephants never forget.

Mar 29, 2026

Ctrl Alt delete my fat.

Mar 28, 2026

Dear food, either stop being so delicious or stop making me fat.

Mar 28, 2026

Why can’t my fat leave me like everything else does?

Mar 28, 2026

Wanted to update everybody on my diet. I’ve decided it’s okay to be fat.

Mar 28, 2026

She took all my money, called me fat, AND stabbed me in the arm. I hate doctor appointments.

Mar 28, 2026

Scientists say humans are the most evolved, but bears get to get fat all summer and then sleep for four months, so who’s really ahead.

Mar 27, 2026

Christmas combines two things I love the most, getting fat and lying to children.

Mar 27, 2026