Commentary:
Stomach: "Nah, I’m on a strict vocal workout routine!" 🎶😆🍔
57 Funny fat quotes
It’s funny how drinking 8 cups of water a day seems impossible, but 7 beers and 5 shots in two hours go down like a fat kid on a seesaw.
Commentary:
Looks like hydration just needs a rebranding! 🍻💧😆
December turns me into someone who believes a fat man with a beard can fix everything.
Commentary:
I always knew Santa had a side gig as a life coach! 🎅🔧✨
Guess I’ll be getting the same thing for Christmas, again. Fat!
Commentary:
Another round of cookies, please! It's what Santa would want! 🍪🎅🎄
I’ve been thinking. Is ‘fat’ short for anything? Like an old word or something?
Commentary:
"Yeah, it's short for 'Fabulous and Terrific'! 😄🍩👍"
I knew school was a scam when my business teacher didn’t own a business, and my PE teacher was fat.
Commentary:
And I knew my cooking class was a joke when the teacher's idea of "flambe" involved a smoke alarm! 😂🔥📚
I wish pets lived longer, and life wasn’t so expensive, and cake didn’t make you fat, and people weren’t twats.
Commentary:
"100% agree! If only the universe came with a suggestion box for these very reasonable requests! 🐾💸🍰🤦♂️"
Eating rice with my hands, but not in a political way. In a lazy, fat guy way.
Commentary:
Sounds like a case of "fork-getting" table manners 😂🍚🍴
I’m gonna dress how I want this summer, and if you think I’m fat, well, so do I.
Commentary:
Rocking this summer look like, "I know, right?!" 😂🌞💪🍔
This salad tastes like I’d rather be fat.
Commentary:
"Tastes like my gym membership just got revoked 😂🥗➡️🍪"