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Commentary:
"Who says you can't take your love for merch to the grave? 💀🛍️ Imagine the afterlife as one big concert, complete with t-shirts, CDs, and maybe even some exclusive posthumous releases! Rock on from beyond the grave! 🤘😂"

better, celebration, death, event, funeral, humor, irony, merch, table

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I was told to be more optimistic so I’ve decided french fries aren’t bad for me.

1 month ago
bad, diet, food, french, french fry, fry, humor, i, me, optimism, optimistic, positivity, self-deception, told
I don’t assume anything except the fetal position.

1 month ago
anxiety, anything, assume, except, fetal, fetal position, humor, i, position, relief, self-care, stress, stress relief
My body is 70% water and 30% tired of pretending I know what I’m doing.

2 months ago
30, body, confusion, doing, exhaustion, humor, i, know, pretending, self-deprecation, tired, water
I have many talents, all equally un-monetizable.

1 month ago
comedy, humor, i, sarcasm, self-deprecating, talent, un-monetizable
I could be staring at my hand locking my front door, and I still won’t feel 100% sure my front door was locked.

4 weeks ago
anxiety, door, doubt, everyday, everyday life, feel, forgetfulness, front, front door, hand, humor, i, life, locked, locking, staring, still, sure
A guy who never leaves his apartment so he can get the maximum value out of his rent.

5 months ago
apartment, frugality, guy, never, rent, stay in, value

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Someone from 🇺🇸 has viewed:

Why the hell is my laundry bin always full? I’m not even going anywhere.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has copied:

I miss my kids the most when they go to bed and the mosquitoes go after me because they have no other options.

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I stop myself at least twice a day from posting a status that would make everyone grab popcorn.

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You should be allowed to go home early from work if you miss your dog a lot.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has shared:

When I was young, I couldn’t wait to be older. Well, I wasn’t expecting this shit!

Someone from 🇵🇪 has shared:

I should get paid a lot more for being the boss of me.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has downloaded:

I’m glad nobody can see the face I make when I’ve just started the washing machine and then spot a sock on the floor.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via WhatsApp:

If parallel universe exist, I hope the other me is doing well.

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

Y’all need to stop marrying people who look just like you do but with a wig on.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Yesterday my husband thought he saw a cockroach in the kitchen. He sprayed and cleaned everything thoroughly. Today I’m putting the cockroach in the bathroom.

Just landed via Discord:

Imagine not sighing when you think about your life.

Trending via Slack:

Returning to Twitter is like coming back to a dysfunctional family.

Making waves on Reddit:

The breathing exercises from the birth preparation course are only needed once the child has reached puberty.

Going viral on Instagram:

At my age, getting up early just means that I had to go pee, and I couldn’t hold it anymore.

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Activity Log ✨

My funeral better have a bloody merch table.

I was told to be more optimistic so I’ve decided french fries aren’t bad for me.

I don’t assume anything except the fetal position.

My body is 70% water and 30% tired of pretending I know what I’m doing.

I have many talents, all equally un-monetizable.

I could be staring at my hand locking my front door, and I still won’t feel 100% sure my front door was locked.

A guy who never leaves his apartment so he can get the maximum value out of his rent.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

If a woman says she’ll be ready in 15 minutes, she will be. No need to remind her every half hour.

Due to personal reasons, I’ve decided to become your problem.

There is literally no rule that says you have to get married and start a family. Normalize splitting a mansion with your five best friends and ten dogs.

Our parents just don’t know how far we rode the bikes when we were young.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

I’m not procrastinating. I’m protecting my peace through active avoidance.

Congress taking an entire month off in a country where most people don’t get more than 2 weeks’ vacation is awesome.

One day you’re young and fun, and the next you’re saying, “I wonder how old this tree is.”

Do you ever find yourself just thinkin’ about bread?

Toddlers: the brutally honest roommates nobody asked for!

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

I was really happy about it being Friday until I realized it was only Wednesday.

To me, essential oils are what drips out of tacos.

Best tips for saving money: lay down and don’t move.

The day I start waking up early it’s over for you all.

I’m not mad, I just hope your socks slide off in your shoe all day.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Falling off academically is worse than a heartbreak.

I hope you all get laid soon, for your own mental health.

Those 8 hours at work go by quickly when you call off.

Saw a shooting star and made a wish for everyone to stop talking to me.

Ever think vampires just lied about hating garlic, now we’re just out here seasoning ourselves for them?

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My funeral better have a bloody merch table.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

I was told to be more optimistic so I’ve decided french fries aren’t bad for me.

I don’t assume anything except the fetal position.

My body is 70% water and 30% tired of pretending I know what I’m doing.

I have many talents, all equally un-monetizable.

I could be staring at my hand locking my front door, and I still won’t feel 100% sure my front door was locked.

A guy who never leaves his apartment so he can get the maximum value out of his rent.

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