My funeral better have a bloody merch table.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has downloaded:

The purpose of life is to go insane sooner or later.

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I’m cosplaying as a functional adult again.

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We should be able to take our arms off when we go to sleep, we have the technology.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has viewed:

‘Blinded by the Light’ is really just a song about turning the bathroom light on in the middle of the night.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has bookmarked:

“You are what you eat”. I don’t remember eating a huge disappointment.

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Since the beginning of time itself, people have been wondering, what the hell is going on?

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“There’s something beautifully intimate about never speaking to a person again.”

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As a teen: secretly drinking in the park with friends. As an adult: secretly drinking in the park with squirrels.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has downloaded:

I think the real reason this generation is so angry is that their music sucks.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has bookmarked:

I grew up in a kinder, gentler age. We pitied our fools.