Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Who says you can't take your love for merch to the grave? 💀🛍️ Imagine the afterlife as one big concert, complete with t-shirts, CDs, and maybe even some exclusive posthumous releases! Rock on from beyond the grave! 🤘😂"

better, celebration, death, event, funeral, humor, irony, merch, table

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Ghost stories sound way scarier with an English accent.

0

2 months ago

accent, English, English accent, ghost, ghost story, humor, scary, sound, story
(Most depressed guy you’ve ever met) I’m doing pretty good.

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2 months ago

coping, depressed, depression, doing, emotional, emotional state, ever, good, guy, health, humor, mental, mental health, met, mood, most, pretty, self-deprecation, state
Coffee doesn’t even work on me anymore. I just drink it because the taste tricks my brain into thinking I’m a functioning adult.

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4 months ago

adult, brain, coffee, drink, even, functioning, functioning adult, humor, i, just, me, taste, thinking, trick, tricks, work
The advantage of being an identical twin: you only need one gym contract.

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2 months ago

advantage, being, contract, fitness, gym, humor, need, twin
Not to brag but I can chop an onion without crying. And I can cry without chopping an onion.

0

2 months ago

brag, chop, cooking, cry, crying, emotions, humor, i, joke, onion, skill
Humanity was engineered as a biological weapon but left abandoned early in its development.

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2 months ago

abandoned, abandonment, biological, biological weapon, dark, dark humor, development, early, engineering, humanity, humor, left, satire, weapon

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

16 shares on Threads this month:

You cannot trust me at a zoo because I’ll release the animals.

94 shares on Snapchat this month:

Cannabis has many benefits. For example, it makes you retarded. But in addition, it also makes you lazy. No worries though, it also makes you fat and insane.

74 shares on TikTok this month:

The only thing limiting what you can put in a sandwich is your imagination and the laws of physics.

86 shares on Discord this month:

At least I can say I tried. I didn’t try, but I can say I did.

16 shares on YouTube this month:

I love when men remind me I’m evil because sometimes I be thinking I’m losing my spark.

65 shares on Threads this month:

Someone asked me what my hobby was and I realized that my favorite hobby is doing absolutely nothing.

30 shares on Facebook this month:

It used be called “talking to yourself” but the new term for it is “podcasting”.

71 shares on Discord this month:

My husband sure has a lot of opinions on which movie he’s gonna sleep through.

62 shares on Slack this month:

My dad must pay my monthly cell phone bill as atonement for his original sin of creating my consciousness.

76 shares on Discord this month:

Are you mad at me? Have you been mad at me? Will you be mad at me? When will you be mad at me?

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇨 has copied:

Asking him what his favorite dinosaur is on the first date to determine compatibility.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has shared:

Can you delete that photo of me? It looks exactly the way I look in real life.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has copied:

My style isn’t even my real style yet. Just wait till my budget matches my vision.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has shared:

The husband, child, and dog are all snoring. WTF is this?

Someone from 🇧🇫 has downloaded:

Not sure how to flirt, but I can make things awkward if you’re into that.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has copied:

It was a tough year, but at least I did not buy a Labubu.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has bookmarked:

The main reason for stress is the daily contact with idiots.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has copied:

Job applications are so stupid. “What’s your desired salary?” Ten billion dollars. Next question.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has copied:

“You’re an adult, maybe it’s time to stop fighting with people on the internet.”

Someone from 🇷🇴 has viewed:

Can’t believe, as a kid, I thought 21-year-olds had their lives figured out.

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

It’s leg day. No, not at the gym, dummy. I’m shaving them.

Going bananas on Threads:

I lied, there’s no sex. Can you tell me a bedtime story?

Seen just now on Discord:

I’m like if a birthday card with no money inside was a person.

Going bananas on Twitch:

People ask you, “are you crazy”, and then get scared when you answer, “yes”.

Making waves on TikTok:

Responding to any and all emails with ‘wow ok’

Spotted on Pinterest:

If I had just one hour left to live, I’d spend it in Math class… it never ends.

Trending via Instagram:

I am AOL Instant Messenger years old.

Breaking via Messenger:

Elevator rides in real life: 30 seconds long. Elevator rides in movies: Two minutes long.

Live now on Facebook:

If you’re a dude and you’re having a bad day, just remember, no one cares.

Freshly posted on Slack:

Quitting my job to focus on decorating the tree.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

My funeral better have a bloody merch table.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Ghost stories sound way scarier with an English accent.

(Most depressed guy you’ve ever met) I’m doing pretty good.

Coffee doesn’t even work on me anymore. I just drink it because the taste tricks my brain into thinking I’m a functioning adult.

The advantage of being an identical twin: you only need one gym contract.

Not to brag but I can chop an onion without crying. And I can cry without chopping an onion.

Humanity was engineered as a biological weapon but left abandoned early in its development.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨