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New funny quotes: 6 this month

15,831 funny quotes and pics

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Updated: Jun 2, 2026

 

 

 

 

 

80 Funny event quotes

Funny event quotes 😂 are the secret sauce to turning any gathering into a laughter fest! 🎉 Whether it’s a wedding, birthday bash, or office party, these gems of humor can spark joy and create unforgettable memories. From hilarious one-liners to witty observations, they’re perfect for breaking the ice and getting everyone in the mood to have a good time. So, let your events shine brighter with a sprinkle of humor and watch the magic happen! ✨

I wonder if the scariest moment ever in history has happened yet.

Posted onMay 30, 2026

Me: trying to rest. Earthquake: Let’s make that a no.

Posted onMay 30, 2026

Moving is legitimately one of the worst human experiences.

Posted onMay 30, 2026

I hate world events. I have problems of my own to worry about.

Posted onMay 29, 2026

Finally, we’re living through precedented times.

Posted onMay 29, 2026

Sure, you can invite more people to the plans we made 2 months ago. The more, the merrier. Also, I’m not going now.

Posted onMay 29, 2026

I totally understand those uncles and aunts who don’t attend gatherings.

Posted onMay 29, 2026

The introvert urge to leave a social event without saying goodbye to anyone.

Posted onMay 29, 2026

Cataclysmic events, such as your fingers on my skin.

Posted onMay 29, 2026

And to think I survived a global pandemic for this.

Posted onMay 29, 2026

The world started without permission again.

Posted onMay 29, 2026

The best part about being married is having a permanent person to debrief with immediately after any social event.

Posted onMay 29, 2026

It would be cool if, after you died, you could see the top 5 times you almost died.

Posted onMay 29, 2026

Don’t invite me anywhere last minute. I enjoy doing nothing, so I need to know ahead of time if my plan to do nothing needs to be changed.

Posted onMay 29, 2026

No one talks about the horrific event of meeting someone who is exactly your type.

Posted onMay 29, 2026

Ever ghost an entire event to avoid one ghost from your past?

Posted onMay 28, 2026

Ignored the small door that appeared in my apartment three days ago, and now it’s gone. That’s how it’s done.

Posted onMay 28, 2026

What’s the opposite of FOMO? The feeling of knowing you made the right decision not going somewhere once you see or hear dispatches from it.

Posted onMay 28, 2026

Bro to bro: Never get your haircut on the day of a special event.

Posted onMay 28, 2026

Imagine buying a new car, and some superhero throws it at an alien.

Posted onMay 28, 2026

In the event of a water landing, place the life jacket over your head and swipe your credit card to inflate.

Posted onMay 28, 2026

I called the cops on my own party, because I was ready to go to bed.

Posted onMay 28, 2026

In the event of a tornado or other such natural disaster, place wieners and/or cheese slices in your pockets, so the search dogs will find you first.

Posted onMay 27, 2026

The one nice thing about your friends’ divorces is no one invites you to them.

Posted onMay 27, 2026

We’re all in the billionaire submarine now.

Posted onMay 27, 2026

In a turn of unexpected events, I need to learn karate by tomorrow morning.

Posted onMay 27, 2026

I’ll marry the person who can go to a family event with me and still like me afterward.

Posted onMay 26, 2026

Are you coming to the party? There will be noise and lights but I found a corner for us to hide.

Posted onMay 26, 2026

I would only enjoy the Met Gala if at the end of that runway they all walked into a volcano.

Posted onMay 26, 2026

It’s freaking me out to think of how bad I’d look at the Met Gala.

Posted onMay 26, 2026

Shrimp: “When I grow up, I want to be food waste at a gala.”

Posted onMay 26, 2026

Hey, sorry I’m late, I didn’t want to come.

Posted onMay 26, 2026

You should be able to google what someone said to you at the bar last night.

Posted onMay 26, 2026

Wild how we don’t get a public holiday for Wrestlemania, but okay.

Posted onMay 26, 2026

April Fool’s next week and still no one has asked me to be their fool.

Posted onMay 26, 2026

Going to a DaBaby concert because I need some alone time, and I know no one else will be there.

Posted onMay 26, 2026

THRILLED to announce I did an Ironman this weekend! Attended 3 social gatherings in 3 days.

Posted onMay 25, 2026

A bird just flew into our glass door. Іt’s not dead. Just really embarrassed.

Posted onMay 25, 2026

Hear me out: agenda reveal parties for people we don’t trust.

Posted onMay 25, 2026

My favorite part of socializing is when it’s over.

Posted onMay 25, 2026

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