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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇾 has shared:

Plot twist: the universe is waiting for you to give it a sign.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has copied:

Don’t hate me, date me!

Someone from 🇺🇸 has viewed:

A lot of y’all don’t understand politics because your history teacher was the football coach.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has downloaded:

I have some cake and now I’m eating it too. Not seeing the problem here.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has viewed:

My neighbor is having some kind of party and didn’t invite me. I guess I have to call the cops again.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has shared:

We’re all in the billionaire submarine now.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has shared:

Do the people who make chairs know what humans look like, or nah?

Someone from 🇮🇸 has shared:

But he was so nice on the prison phone calls.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has bookmarked:

I will never forget when my dad had a guy from Verizon call me in middle school to tell me that I was using more data than Obama and that I need to stop.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has viewed:

Not to brag but I am evidence of things unseen.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

299 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,568

Funny Quotes Topics

17,624

Funny Quotes Images

15,568

Updated

Jan 11, 2026

Users Online

3,660

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Facebook:

I haven’t even gone to bed yet and I already can’t wait to get home from work tomorrow.

Going viral on Reddit:

If you’re not getting spoiled, then spoil yourself.

Going viral on TikTok:

My workout goals are simple: I’d just like to be able to get up off the floor without looking like a turtle trying to flip itself back over.

Going bananas on Facebook:

Maybe her DMs haven’t been working for 2 months.

Spotted on Reddit:

Engaging in deforestation (trimming my bush).

Freshly posted on Reddit:

I’m at the age where any time my mom asks if I remember so-and-so from high school, the news is never good.

Spotted on Twitch:

Indiana Jones is a fantasy about being a professor with no admin duties.

Making waves on YouTube:

It’s now socially acceptable again to clap when the plane lands.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

No one told me adulting would involve trying to avoid so many scams.

Shared recently on Facebook:

Mercury retrograde: because adulting is hard, and sometimes you just need a celestial excuse.

My kids act like they’re afraid of monsters, when they are literally the most terrifying creatures I’ve ever met.

My kids act like they’re afraid of monsters, when they are literally the most terrifying creatures I’ve ever met.
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Commentary:
👧👦 "My kids act like they’re afraid of monsters, when they are literally the most terrifying creatures I’ve ever met. 🦖 Yep, forget about ghosts and goblins, the real horror show is bedtime with these pint-sized tyrants! 😂👻 #ParentingAdventures"

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

10 shares on X this month:

It should be illegal to take a nap and still have a headache when you wake up. Like, I shut it off and back on again, why are you still here?

67 shares on Slack this month:

Alligators can live up to 100 years which is why there is an increased chance that they will see you later.

30 shares on Snapchat this month:

According to my kids’ Christmas lists, they think this parenting gig pays pretty well.

23 shares on Threads this month:

You should be able to google why a couple broke up.

12 shares on TikTok this month:

I hate small cars that disguise themselves as free parking spaces and drop their masks as soon as you pull up in front of them.

11 shares on Twitch this month:

Grocery carts should have barcode scanners on them so you can see how much you’re spending as you put things in your cart.

98 shares on Snapchat this month:

The way some people hold their cell phone to make a call, I always think they’re trying to take a bite out of a sandwich.

99 shares on TikTok this month:

Pressure washing is like regular washing but with a lot of yelling and tight deadlines.

46 shares on Snapchat this month:

These cannot be the same knees that used to get low in heels at the club.

91 shares on YouTube this month:

Yes, my sex drive is higher than my will to live, and what about it?

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

25 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m glad it’s not snowing. I can’t imagine shoveling snow in this heat.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Your suitcase just texted. It’s getting bored.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Just once I’d like to buy a house plant that didn’t have the lifespan of a soap bubble.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Stomach: I will now demonstrate a blue whale’s mating call.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

I love sleeping so much that it is the first thing I think about when I wake up.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Pro tip: Invest in pasta companies. Worth every penne.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Childbirth seems like an awful lot of work for an already saturated market.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

You ever spend the day with a skinny person and are like “ohhhh, that’s why you’re skinny”.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Polar lights: when the sky forgets it’s supposed to be boring.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Sometimes I wonder if the strangers I see when I go outside are actually the people I talk to online.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

299 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,568

Funny Quotes Topics

17,624

Funny Quotes Images

15,568

Updated

Jan 11, 2026

Users Online

3,475

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇹 has shared:

No matter how sad their story is, don’t let anybody move into your house.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has copied:

My hobby is misidentifying dinosaurs so my daughter can correct me.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has bookmarked:

There is no such thing as fun for the whole family.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has bookmarked:

Every Reddit relationship post is like “My husband dropped a big piano on my head and when I emerged from the rubble my teeth had been replaced by the keys. Am I in the wrong?”

Someone from 🇩🇰 has downloaded:

I will never forget how to spell bananas, thanks to Gwen Stefani.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has shared:

Can I come over and be your midnight snack?

Someone from 🇲🇪 has downloaded:

Ugh, those red and blue flashing lights are interfering with my driving and scrolling.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has copied:

This Thanksgiving, don’t ask me questions about my life, just pass the mashed potatoes.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has shared:

My trauma is between me and this bartender. The rest of you, mind your business.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has viewed:

God saw you do that.

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Threads:

Me to alien: I, too, try to live among people undetected.

Going viral on Telegram:

I’ve never met a problem I couldn’t make worse.

Live now on Twitch:

People found guilty of not using punctuation deserve the longest sentence possible.

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

The cold water does not get warmer if you jump late.

Shared recently on WeChat:

First rule for the new year is to not dwell on what went wrong this year.

Just shared via Pinterest:

“Doing the dishes” is completely pointless and only wastes water. You’re just going to put food on them again in a few hours.

Trending via TikTok:

Many people mistake me for an adult because of my age.

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

For Halloween, I’m going as an emotional roller coaster.

Making waves on Telegram:

The secret to a good marriage is that it’s all about give and take. Giving each other frequent back rubs and ordering lots of takeout.

Going viral on Pinterest:

I don’t get involved in anyone’s business, let alone their drama. You should try it.

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